The Absence of You
by SLimac
Summary: AU: When Emma Swan, a young social worker, stumbled into Killian Jones's hospital room looking for her mischievous son she never thought the encounter would go farther. But she'll soon come to realize that Killian needs her more than she knows. And maybe, she might need him too.
1. Hide and Seek

A/N: All characters and Once Upon a Time property of ABC and the show's creators, Adam and Eddy.

Henry was not getting dessert tonight, of that Emma was sure. What she wasn't sure of was where he was hiding. He was at the stage where everything was a game and "stay here, don't move" might as well have been a phrase in another language. But really, of all the places he chose to play hide and seek did he have to choose her workplace?

Emma cursed herself for not shutting her office door as she hurried down the hallway looking for the familiar brown head of hair. A hospital had way too many rooms for a four year old to hide in, making her task very difficult. She wasn't even supposed to be at work today- it was Sunday for crying out loud- so she had had no babysitter to leave him with. But a little girl had been found at a bus station that morning without ID and looking a little worse for wear. As the hospital's case worker Emma had been called in. She'd found out that the girl was a foster care system kid when she'd arrived, Henry on her hip, a box of donuts in her hand. The poor girl had run away from her house when she found out she was being shipped off to a new one. Not even the donuts Emma had brought could placate her. The girl's story was a familiar one and left Emma in a funk. Hence the open door.

She cursed her own weakness as she rounded the corner by the nurses' station. Ruby raised a hand from behind the desk and pointed at a room across the hall. "He ran in there," she laughed, clicking away at the computer. "I was just about to call you."

Emma allowed herself a deep breath before hurrying to the door. She peered inside, praying for an empty room. No such luck. Lying on the bed was a man in his late twenties. He was asleep, his messy black hair splayed over a forehead of half healed cuts and bruises. A deeper cut on his cheek was closed with butterfly bandages. Scruffy facial hair covered his chin, surrounding a mouth that was pinched in pain, even though he was asleep.

He was undeniably handsome but Emma didn't have time to think about that before she spied a pair of power ranger sneakers peeking out from underneath the curtain. She crept forward, the beeping of the heart monitor masking the sound of her footsteps. Just as she pulled back the curtain Henry let out a squeal of delight and bounced into her arms._ Dammit. So close._

"Can I help you?" A quiet, accented voice made her spin on her heel. The man was awake, an amused smirk creeping up his face as Emma blushed hot. The smile didn't reach his eyes though. They were as lifeless as the Arctic ice they shared their colour with.

"Henry, go see Ruby. Now" Henry nodded and scurried out of the room, squealing for his favourite person. At four he just wanted attention, he didn't care who from. Emma glanced back up at the man. "Look, I'm sorry. My kid doesn't understand the meaning of privacy."

"Do you often let him run around a hospital unattended?"

"I'm not a bad mother, if that's what you're asking." Embarrassment made Emma quick to snap.

"I do believe I asked about his supervision, not your own personal skill." There was a bit more amusement to his expression now despite Emma's anger. It made him look even more handsome._ What Emma? Really?_ She shook her head at him.

"I got called into work and had no other choice but to take him with me."

"Don't trust your husband?"_ Don't trust anybody_.

"Trust doesn't really matter when you don't have one in the first place." His eyes softened at that.

"Sorry, lass." Why was he apologizing? It was Emma's non-existent love life. It's not like he was interested in that.

"No,_ I'm_ sorry that my kid bothered you. I'll let you get back to sleep." Emma turned with a nod. She didn't need to be in this room with a man who made her inexplicably wish she had a love life for the first time in four years.

"Hey, wait. I didn't get your name."

Emma looked back over her shoulder at the man. If she didn't know better she'd swear he looked disappointed that she was leaving. But that also might have been the shadows of the dark room playing over his features. "Emma. Emma Swan."

"I'm Killian Jones."

"Get some rest Killian." Emma called as she left his room, shutting the door behind her.

Ruby was leaning against the desk, Henry occupying her chair, when Emma reappeared in the hallway. She raised a perfectly manicured brow. "Cute huh?"

"That's not my business or yours _nurse._"

Ruby pouted at her and Emma rolled her eyes. She grasped Henry's hand and pulled him off the chair. They'd been at the hospital long enough. With Emma working through the week, sometimes very long hours, she didn't get enough time with Henry as it was. She'd missed the first year of his life. She didn't want to miss anymore.

"You're the first person he's talked to." Ruby's tone was curious, wondering.

"Excuse me?"

"He won't talk to the nurses or the doctors. He just sits there and nods. What did you say to him?"

"He talked first," Emma replied, glancing at the closed door. "What happened to him?"

Ruby gave her a tight lipped smile, more sad than anything. "He was mugged pretty badly. They wanted his boat I guess. It was violent. He lost his hand in the fight."

Emma felt her chest grow heavy. She hadn't noticed anything but his face. How could people be so awful? Was taking someone's hand really worth getting a boat? Where did these people come from? But that wasn't a question she should have been asking herself. She'd been at the mercy of one too many drunks, one too many people trying to play the system she depended on as a child. She knew firsthand what the underbelly of society looked like.

You didn't have to deserve what you got. Or at least she had to believe that to keep her sanity. Killian seemed like a perfectly normal person, sad and beautiful, but otherwise average. But normal was what people saw when they looked at Emma too. They saw a young mom, harried and a little jaded. They didn't see the two years spent in jail in Phoenix or the years bouncing from house to house to orphanage in a vicious and eighteen yearlong cycle.

That anonimity kept her safe from those who had hurt her. Maybe it was keeping Killian safe from something too.


	2. Panic Attack

Emma did not think any more of Killian Jones that night. Well, she did think about the people who had mugged him and of his injury but she didn't think about _him._ Not like that. That was a dangerous path, one she had no desire to go down.

Sitting at her desk Monday afternoon, Emma was swamped in foster family files. She wanted to find someone to take the girl from yesterday that lived in the area, not the person three hours away who was booked to. The kid was ten; she had friends, a life. Emma knew what it was like to leave it all behind, fitting whatever bit of a life she had collected into a backpack and leaving forever. She'd done it herself nearly twenty times. Emma wasn't going to rest until she had a better home picked out.

Her cell phone trilled against the wooden desk, vibrating a pencil onto the floor. Emma dropped the file she'd been reading and lunged for it. Ruby's face lit up the screen.

"Hey, what's up?" Emma asked. Awful sounds were coming through Ruby's end, wheezing, sputtering sounds. "Ruby?" Emma practically yelled through the phone, panic making her heart race.

"Get to Killian's room now. He's having a panic attack and I can't calm him down." The line went dead.

Emma jumped up and ran out of her office without stopping to analyse why Ruby had called her, or why she might be able to calm the distraught man. Sure, she had dealt with children in the system who had panic attacks. A few of those had happened in her own office. But she'd never had to calm an adult, let alone a man like Killian.

Emma rushed down the hallway, thankful for choosing to wear flats today. The door to Killian's room was shut when Emma reached it and slipped inside.

Ruby's standing by the bed holding bandages and looking absolutely frantic. She ran to Emma, grasping her arm. "I was trying to change his bandages. He saw the stump. I didn't want the doctors to make a big deal out of this because he hates them so I called you, I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to call."

Emma turns from her to face Killian. He's sitting up, good hand pressed to his chest as it wheezes up and down. The sounds he's making cause Emma's stomach to clench. His face is red and the slight blue tinge of his lips tell Emma that he's been at this awhile now. Tears stream down his cheeks, falling onto his lap. His stump hangs lifelessly beside him.

She strides towards him, standing by the side of the bed. "Killian, hey, look at me." He doesn't. He's going to pass out if he doesn't stop this soon. Emma's brain races as she sits down in front of him. She reaches out and grasps his chin hard, her nails digging into the skin. The pain seems to focus him.

His eyes roll like a cornered animal but he doesn't pull away. "Killian, can you hear me?" Emma's not certain he can hear anything over the wheezing. "Hold your breath alright? I'll do it with you." When he doesn't immediately comply Emma adds, "think of it as a system reboot." After several long moments the wheezing stops. Emma holds her breath too, puffing out her cheeks so he'll know he's not alone in this. She counts to five before letting the air out. He follows her, his breath hitting her cheeks in a way that_ does not_ make Emma want to kiss him._ Not at all._ That would be crazy.

She grabs his good hand and puts it on her shoulder. "Breathe with me." Emma takes a deep breath then lets it out, watching his eyes. He's staring at his hand on her shoulder, following its movements, up and down, up and down. Soon they are breathing in sync and his face is returning to its normal colour.

Ruby moves closer, clearly relieved and tentatively takes his stump again. The bandages are off it. The skin is red and angry, a long scar makes a puckered line at the end of the wrist. It's just arm and wrist then there's nothing. It's the abruptness that's troubling, not the missing part.

Killian doesn't seem to feel the same way because he takes one look at it, turns an awful shade of green then vomits onto his shirt and the sheets in front of Emma. The sound that comes from him when he realizes what he did breaks Emma's heart.

She grabs the Kleenex from Ruby and wipes his chin clean. He doesn't meet her eyes as she does it.

"Hey, look at me," she orders. He glances up before his gaze falters and he's staring at the soiled linen again. "I have a four year old. I've seen way worse." Though the worst sights have had nothing to do with Henry at all.

Killian looks up again and Emma stands. She grasps his elbow and pulls him up as Ruby bustles over with new sheets and a clean shirt for him. Emma steps back to the wall as Ruby helps him change. Emma doesn't even bother to tell herself not to stare at his lean muscles, the curly black hair covering his chest. Just because she looks doesn't mean there's anything to it. Henry might be the only man she needs in her life but that doesn't mean she can't appreciate the view every once and a while.

Once changed Ruby unfolds a wheelchair and sets him in it. He uses his feet to wheel closer to Emma as his bed is changed.

"I'm sorry." His lap must be awfully interesting for the amount of staring he's doing at it.

"Nothing to be sorry about."

"You didn't need to come. I would have been fine."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night partner." Killian glances up then, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"I prefer Captain, lass." That lass does not affect her._ It does not._

Ruby finishes the bed with a flourish and comes over, grasping the handles of the wheelchair and pulling him back to the bed. Emma pushes off the wall. It was time for her to go. Staying here with Killian was going to do her no good, not when he smirked like that. Smirks had gotten her nothing but trouble before.

Emma is at the door before Killian speaks. His voice is timid but it seems too loud "Swan, wait. I hate to ask but would you stay while she wraps this?" When Emma glances back he lifts his stump slightly. Emma should have said she was busy and ran but instead she unintentionally caught his gaze. The brokenness of it. The barely masked desperation. She knows the feeling all too well. Her stomach clenches. She's not going anywhere.


	3. Love and the Lost Girl

Emma's apartment was a small, two bedroom place. All the rooms were still the warm sand colour the landlord had painted them except for Henry's, which was a bright blue with boats painted on one wall. Despite the apartment being, as Ruby liked to call it, empty, Emma found it cozy. It was her place. She'd had it for three years and it had become her small family's home. Emma didn't need knick knacks covering the walls to tell her that. Her name was on the lease and there was no risk of someone coming along and telling her she had to move because she was no longer wanted. Everything in the apartment was hers- from the red rag rug under the ottoman to the box of green Jell-O in the cupboard. That was more than enough for her.

"So, about Killian?" Ruby waggles her eyebrows at Emma who promptly rolls her eyes in return. She set her coffee mug on the black leather ottoman, folded her legs under her and adjusted the hem of her shirt before answering.

"What about him?" Her feigned ignorance sounded hollow even to Emma.

Ruby isn't fooled by her stalling or her pretend confusion. "That was pretty impressive, what you did for him."

"It was what I'd do for anyone having a panic attack."

"Still. You calmed him down. You let him touch you. And you didn't freak out when he puked."

Emma got up from her seat at the couch and started putting Henry's toys away. She should have guessed the conversation would go this way when Ruby arrived for her usual Wednesday mid-morning coffee visit looking particularly wound. "I've got a four year old, remember? They are walking magnetics for gross things."

"Killian is very much_ not_ a four year old." Ruby's tone dripped insinuations.

Emma had had enough. She didn't want to hear any more about how she had come when called, calmed Killian down and helped clean him up. She didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about how he'd been the first grown man she'd touched since Neal. Since Phoenix. Because grown men left her high and dry, holding the bag. Or in that case, the watches. Emma wasn't stupid. She'd learned her lesson well.

"Can we just drop it?" she snapped. Ruby's eyes softened and she stood, crossing the floor to Emma.

She picked up a Tonka Truck and set it in one of the baskets lining the wall. After dropping a second toy in Ruby turned back to Emma. "Look, Emma, I'll drop it in a minute. But first, can I say something?"

"Are you really asking my permission?" Emma muttered, not looking at the brunette. Ruby would say it whether Emma wanted her to or not.

Ruby chuckled. "No. But it's the polite way to start." She grasped Emma's hand to still her. "Look, I know Neal was a jackass to you. I know keeping away from men keeps you safe. But what if Killian isn't like Neal? I mean, I'm not telling you to marry the guy. Or even date him. I'm just saying that he's in serious need of company. He's alone all day. No one visits him because he doesn't seem to have any family."

"What about friends?" Emma's voice is quiet. He's an orphan. Just like her. Had he ever known familial love or had he been found on the side of the road too?

"I told you before- he won't talk to anybody. But you. If he'd tell me about his friends I'd contact them. They are probably out of their minds with worry since he's been in there a week already."

"So what do you want me to do?" Emma asked, grabbing at Henry as he ran through the room. He squealed with delight as Emma hoisted him onto her hip and kissed his cheek. Sometimes she was baffled at how lucky she was to have him, how she hadn't done anything to deserve such a loving, happy child.

"I'm just telling you the facts. It's up to you to decide because pushing you isn't going to help. He's lonely. You're lonely- don't fight me on this Emma or I swear-" she said quickly, pointing her finger as Emma opened her mouth to argue. She had Henry, and Ruby. That's all that mattered. "It's not much of a life, siting in that room all alone every day, dealing with the loss of a limb by yourself. Chew on that for a while. I've got to go." She bent and kissed Henry's forehead who blew a noisy kiss back. Ruby pretended to catch it and stuff it in her pocket. His little giggle was the only sound in the apartment after Ruby left.

Henry was lucky. He was never alone. Not in the ways that mattered. That left scars. One was never alone when they were loved. Emma was desperate to ensure Henry knew that. If Henry grew up and knew how to love properly Emma would have done her job. She needed to rectify what had been done to her. If she could put all the love and comfort she had missed as a child into her Henry then maybe she could make up for her lonely childhood. Maybe it could rebalance everything.

_And yet you're leaving Killian alone_ a voice in the back of her head cooed._ You can't fix the balance that way._

Emma sighed and carried Henry to his room, putting him down for a nap. She kissed his forehead and tucked the sheets around his tiny shoulders.

"I love you Mommy," he murmured rolling over.

"Love you too baby," Emma replied, running a hand over her face. She left his room and flopped down on the couch.

Talking to Killian didn't mean anything. People could talk. That was normal. She could do that. Talking wasn't committing. The idea of Killian being an orphan kept running through her head. She would have done anything to have company as a child. Some days she would still do anything to get rid of the lonely feeling that left her hollow and heavy. Was he that empty too?

Emma couldn't promise being good company. But she could be company and that was better than nothing. Right?


	4. Morning Coffee

Friday morning Emma packed her bag with the case files she needed to go over and locked her office door. Balanced on her hand was a tray with two hot chocolates and a bag of muffins. She didn't know if bringing him one would be weird but outside was an awful, wet rain and Emma was soaked to the bone. She needed to warm up and felt bad not getting Killian one to.

Ruby waved as Emma walked by the nurse's station, pretending not to freak out. This was not a good plan. She might show up and Killian would yell at her to leave and never show her face again. He might not want anything to do with her. Emma really couldn't blame him for it. It's not like they knew each other. But at least Ruby couldn't tell her she didn't try. And she'd get two hot chocolates. So, it wouldn't be_ that_ bad if he sent her on her way.

Emma stopped at his door and knocked. Her foot bounced beneath her as she waited. No response.

"Just go in," Ruby called from the desk. "He won't answer the knock."

"I can't just barge in there," Emma returned, glancing over her shoulder. Her heart was starting to pound faster and the hand holding her bag was sweating. It was just too weird standing in front of this stranger's door, waiting to have breakfast with him, especially since she was unexpected.

"I can," Ruby answered running around the desk to stand beside Emma, her scrubs rustling in the mid-morning quiet of the ward. She had seen the look in Emma's eyes and knew what it meant. Ruby threw open Killian's door and stuck her head in. "Hey Killian. Emma's here." She shoved Emma into the room and shut the door behind her while Emma was distracted by the slopping hot drinks in her hand. Emma righted the drinks before looking up.

"Swan," he murmured. He raised an eyebrow with his greeting but he couldn't hide the surprise in his eyes.

"Uh, hi. How are you?" If Emma's face was as hot as it felt smoke was going to start wafting from her pores. She took a deep breath._ In and out._

Killian shrugged then winced. Despite the wincing he looked better. The bruises had faded and the butterfly sutures were gone, replaced by a thin Band-Aid. His cheeks were thinner though, a realization that made Emma's heart jump. Was he not eating? Was he just trying to waste away here?_ You should have come sooner_ that voice in the back of her mind whispered._ But what could you have done? You're not special to him._

She tried not to worry at the edge of her lip. Killian glanced at her then back to his lap. He'd seen her reaction. He's sitting on top of his covers, propped up against a pile of pillows wearing a pair of heather grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Emma adjusted the drinks again to avoid looking at the way his chest hair peeked out around the V-neck of the shirt.

"Are you hungry?" Emma asked moving closer to the bed. She put the tray down on a table with wheels and glanced up at Killian.

"Not really," he replied glancing at the table. Emma rolls her eyes because there's no way he can't be even the slightest bit hungry. His hospital breakfast is on the table untouched, the oatmeal congealed and the apple slices browned.

"Not really as in I'm actually not hungry or I'm trying to harm myself by not eating? Because that's not a solution partner."

"I thought I told you I preferred Captain?"

"And I thought when I walked in here you weren't going to be a dummy." Killian pushed himself further upright, clearly amused at her determination. Emma wheeled the table closer to him so it sat over his lap knowing she'd won.

"What is it?" Killian asked as Emma removed his cup from the tray and pulled out a muffin.

"Hot chocolate. I didn't know how you took your coffee. And the muffin's blueberry." Emma settled on the room's only chair, crossing her ankles and taking a sip of the sweet drink. The warmth flooded her chilled body.

Killian reached forward with his good hand, his fingers shaking slightly at the muscle strain it caused him. He determinedly did not look in her direction, setting his jaw as his fingers worked to close around the paper cup. Emma desperately wanted to reach out and lift it to his lips for him but that was not going to help him. Emma knew he'd be too proud to accept help from her like that. Killian took a sip before letting the cup drop back on the table. A few drops splashed out the hole in the top.

"Why are you here?" he asked after a few silent moments.

Emma reached down into her bag and pulled out her pile of case files. "I came to do some work and eat my breakfast."

"Interesting choice of room lass. Do you often disturb patients during your workday or am I just special?" his brows waggle in a movement that made Emma wonder if he practiced facial muscle control in his spare time.

Emma didn't have a witty answer for him and she_ definitely_ didn't like the way he was looking at her, almost mocking, like he knew something she doesn't, so she shot from the hip. "I don't normally seek out self-destructive people but Ruby said you were lonely."

His eyes darkened. "So you thought you'd be my knight in shining armour?"

Emma supressed a growl of frustration. She stood, grasping her bag. "Look, I'm no one's saviour. I'm only here because I know what it's like to be lonely. And it sucks. But if you want me to leave I'll happily go back to my office. I'm not asking you to talk to me about why you're not talking to your doctors or what happened to you. I just didn't like the idea of you being forced to be alone."

Killian pursed his lips. He sighed, exasperated. "Sit down Swan and finish your breakfast."

Emma sat and took a long sip of her drink. Over the edge of her cup she watched Killian try to pull a piece off the muffin top. The muffin skittered across the smooth table with his incoordination and he cursed violently, slamming his fist on the table then wincing.

Emma stood and grasped the muffin, placing it on the table again. He looked away, completely uninterested in it. "Come on," Emma urged. "Try again. You're obviously hungry. I'll hold it steady."

"I don't need your help and I'm not hungry," he snapped. At that moment his stomach gurgled loudly and Killian leaned forward with a groan.

Emma crouched down by his pale face, scrunched in on itself. "What's wrong? Are you going to be sick?"

Killian nodded. Emma fumbled around for the bowl beside his bed. She offered it to him, sitting on the bed beside him. He hunched over it. "It's the pain meds. Can't stomach them. Can't stand the pain either. Hit the road Swan. You don't have to watch this."

The tone of his voice, so hurt and a little scared, reminded her of Henry when he was sick. This grown man still needed help, just like her four year old. Even if he was loath to admit it. It made the mothering instinct inside her flare. Emma reached out and rubbed his back, making shushing sounds. The muscles of his back were rock hard with tension. "It's okay. I don't mind. Relax. It will pass."

Emma wasn't sure how long she rubbed his back but her hot chocolate was cold by the time he sat up again. His big blue eyes met hers and Emma stepped back like she was burnt. She settled in her chair and shoved a piece of muffin in her mouth to occupy it.

Killian blushed when he spoke. "I promise I don't puke all the time."

"Only on days that end in Y right?" His chuckle seemed genuine when it escaped his lips. "I know you don't like talking to your doctors but they can change your meds so you aren't so sick."

"I just want out of here. I can handle it." The thought of him leaving made her stomach clench. She shook it away without any further consideration.

"You're making yourself sick by not eating. You're not going to leave here like that."

"I don't need to talk to them. I just need my own space away from prying eyes and questions on whether I am okay having only one hand. Because guess what?_ I'm not._" His voice breaks and he looks at his lap where his injured arm is tucked under the blanket. It's the only part of his under the blanket. Emma itched to remove the blanket and tell him it was okay.

"There's a lot of things people aren't okay with in their lives. Trust me when I say one bad turn isn't the end. So please, get over yourself and eat something?" She broke off a piece of muffin and set it in his hand. He looked at her carefully, eyes narrowing in concentration. Emma wanted to run for the hills. He was seeing things she didn't want him to see. Ever. She turned and sat in the chair, opening a case file and shuffling through the papers, looking for the latest report. By the time Emma chanced a furtive glance at Killian he had pulled off the whole muffin top and eaten it, the bottom half balanced between his knees to hold it steady. Neither spoke for the next twenty minutes as Killian finished both his muffin and his hot chocolate before lying back on the bed, his eyes drifting closed.

Emma put her files away and stood. "I'll talk to the nurse about your meds okay?"

Killian opened one eye and glanced at her then tried to prop himself up when he realized she was leaving. His arms were weak though, one unusable, the other tired from the movement of eating for the first time in who knew how long, so he couldn't manage more than a slight elevation of his shoulders and head.

He nodded to Emma. "As you wish lass. As you wish."


	5. One Less Lost Girl

Emma slipped out of Killian's room, shouldered her bag and crossed the hall to where Ruby waited with a significant look on her face. Emma leaned against the nurse's desk, her swan pendant swinging free from the confines of her shirt and hitting the counter with a light tap.

"So, how'd that go?" Ruby asked leaning forward as well, as if what Emma had to say was conspiritory in nature.

"Fine. Change his pain meds. They're making him sick."

Ruby made a surprised face. "Is that why he's not eating?"

"One of the reasons," Emma shrugged. His other reasons ran a little deeper, too deep for her to explain to Ruby around all the other nurses. Not that it was really her place to talk about it in the first place.

"Did he tell you why you're the only one he'd talk to?"

Emma shook her head and straightened, tucking the necklace back in. "We never got around to the topic. I don't think he wants to talk about it." With a wave and a promise that Ruby would go find Doctor Whale to change Killian's pain medication Emma left the ward and returned to her office.

Sitting down on her desk chair she let herself spin around on it, lazily moving behind her desk. She'd totally forgotten to ask Killian why he'd have a conversation with her and no one else. The idea of it intrigued her. Why was she so special?_ You're nothing but a lost girl._ Emma bit down on her lip to silence the self-doubt. He had to have a reason. Maybe it was because of how they first met, Henry hiding in his room and all. Emma had kind of barged into his life last Sunday. Or maybe he was a little lost himself and he understood that she knew something about going through life without a map, without a place to call home.

Emma pulled her files out of her bag and picked up the office phone. She'd found a new home for the girl from Sunday. Marie was her name. It may have taken her a week to arrange and find but Emma wanted to make sure it would work. The couple lived in the city, had a dog and a house with a room just for Marie. Marie had a history of running when she didn't feel safe. Emma understood that completely. Which was why Emma had found a place that she would have given anything for as a child.

On the third ring a college of hers who had been watching Marie picked up the phone.

"Hey Belle, can I talk to Marie?"

"Sure, no problem." There was a shuffling on the other side of the line and then a child's voice said a timid hello.

"Hi Marie, its Emma."

"Hi Emma."

"I have some good news for you," she said, spinning in her chair again. "I found you a new place."

"How long will I stay there?" Marie asked, her tone a little cynical for someone so young. Emma knew she couldn't promise forever but she had a good feeling about this. It made the lost girl inside her jealous. Emma knew that was always a good sign in her line of work.

"They are really excited to have you. They've always wanted children."

"So they actually want me?"

Emma allows herself a small smile. "Yes. Mrs. Mills cried when I called yesterday."

_"Really?"_

_"Really."_

Marie started sobbing through the receiver and Emma couldn't understand another word the child tried to say. It made her own eyes wet. She shut them before they could spill over. Belle hushed Marie gently then took the phone.

"Thanks Emma. Text me the address and I'll take her over this afternoon."

"Sure Belle. No problem." Emma fought the waver in her voice and won. She set the receiver back on it's cradle and shut Marie's file on the desk, hopefully for the final time. As of that afternoon there would be one less lost girl out there. One less girl to make a stupid decision to fill the void in her life.

That was why Emma did her job. She may not have had the highest turnover rate because she spent so long combing through files of foster and want-to-be adoptive parents but she had the highest success rate. And that mattered more. At least to Emma. It didn't matter how fast you got home as long as you got there in the end.

Emma pulled her cell from her purse and texted Belle the address, asking her to text when she dropped Marie off. Emma spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning her office and refiling all the cases she had taken out of the cabinet for Marie. She'd read through maybe twenty parent files, each multiple times, carefully weighing the pros and cons of each. It had left her office a disaster.

Emma's phone buzzed from its place on the top of the filing cabinet. Emma stood, closing the drawer she'd been digging in with her foot before scooping up the phone. A message from Ruby flashed across the screen.

HE TALKS.

WHO? Emma typed back. It didn't take Ruby long to respond. She must have been on break.

KILLIAN.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

THANK YOU. Well, that wasn't exactly a conversation but it was a start.

FOR WHAT?

WE TOOK HIM OFF MORPHINE. WE'VE CHANGED HIM TO COEDINE. HE'S SLEEPY BUT HE ATE LUNCH.

Emma sighed, a relief filling her from a tension she didn't know she had. One part of Killian's battle was over. Not the biggest one but at least he wouldn't go hungry anymore.

THANKS.

COME SEE HIM? Emma glanced at the clock. Three pm. She had to pick Henry up from his babysitter's in a half an hour.

NOT TODAY. HENRY'S WAITING.

COME TOMORROW THEN. I'LL BABYSIT HENRY FOR YOU. SEE IF YOU CAN FIND OUT IF KILLIAN HAS FRIENDS.

I CAN'T KEEP VISITING HIM. HE'LL THINK I'M STALKING.

NO. YOU'RE HELPING. Her response came so fast that Emma knew Ruby had typed it before she answered her. Ruby knew her that well. YOUR GOING. END OF STORY. I'LL LET HIM KNOW.

_RUBY_ _NO!_

Ruby's response took much longer this time. Emma's toe tapped the floor while she waited for the screen to light up. Ruby was up to no good, she was sure of it.

OOPS. TOO LATE. SEE YOU AT TEN TOMORROW.

Emma huffed, tossing her phone in her purse. Ruby was impossible. She'd told Killian Emma would come knowing that Emma knew how alone Killian was. Ruby knew her best friend couldn't say no that way. She'd trapped Emma into another morning meeting with the lonely patient.


	6. Calling All Friends

Ruby arrived precisely at ten o'clock. Emma had woken up at eight and showered and dressed, pulling on a simple pair of jeans and an old black sweater. It wasn't like she was trying to impress him. She was going for comfort. Ruby entered the apartment using her spare key just as Emma was pulling her hair into a high ponytail.

"Good to see you dressed up for the occasion."

Emma rolled her eyes. "You're lucky I'm going at all."

Ruby grabbed Henry from his room, balancing him against her slender hip. Emma had left him sleeping while she got ready. Henry would have had nothing but questions for her. How was she supposed to explain going for breakfast with a man she barely knew, just because he was possibly as lost as she was? The little boy yawned sleepily. "Luck has nothing to do with it."

Emma grabbed her car keys, kissed Henry's head. "There's cereal in the cupboard for him. Don't give him the sugary stuff though." She gave Ruby a stern look. The woman was soft with Henry. If he asked, he got with her. She grabbed her red leather jacket from the back of the couch and slipped it on. "I'll be back later. Bye baby." Henry waved at her and smiled warmly as Emma shut the door the apartment behind her.

Emma stopped at the same place she had yesterday for breakfast, picking up two hot chocolates with cinnamon because she forgot to ask him how he took his coffee and two bagels with cream cheese. A bagel seemed easier for him to eat one handed. She really didn't want to have to watch him get frustrated again, just trying to eat breakfast. It broke her heart and that scared her.

Just like yesterday no answer came at the knock she gave against Killian's hospital room door. She pushed the door open and quietly slipped inside. Killian was asleep, blankets pulled up mid chest, stump hidden beneath the sheets. He wasn't as pale as yesterday which gave Emma some relief. A doctor had hooked an IV to his elbow that pumped clear liquid into his arm. Emma assumed it was because he'd gone and dehydrated himself being stupid and not eating or drinking.

She set his breakfast on the table, unwrapping the bagel as quietly as she could. His hot chocolate went beside it. It wasn't until she'd sat down that Emma noticed his drowsy eyes on her.

"Morning Swan." He used the button on the bed to incline the mattress until he was upright.

"Morning Jones." She took a sip of her drink. "How are you feeling?"

"Is that how you're going to greet me every morning?" He smirked at her mischievously. Emma rolled her eyes.

"Considering you're in a hospital it's kind of standard. And after lying to your doctors for so long I thought it might be good to check myself. So, I'll ask again, how are you?"

"Better lass, thanks to you," he said before taking a bite of his bagel. Emma felt a bit of pride flare that he was able to eat without anyone's help. "Why do you feel so compelled to take me breakfast when the hospital serves me three square meals a day?"

Emma pointed to the discarded meal of dry toast and what might have been eggs at one time sitting on the windowsill. "You mean that breakfast?"

"I was getting to it."

"Lie." He raised a brow and Emma shoved the bagel into her mouth to hide her answering grin. She was _not_ enjoying herself that much. She was_ not_ flirting with him.

"So blunt."

"Yet you don't seem to mind."

"I don't think I'd mind anything you did," he murmured. His murmur sent a shiver down her spine. Emma gulped her hot drink to warm herself but it wasn't the cold that had caused the movement. Not that she wanted to think about the real reason.

Time to change the subject. "So, why haven't any of your friends been by? You do have friends right?"

His gaze darkened. "Yes. I have friends."

"Then why haven't they been here?"

"They don't know I'm here."

Emma balked at him even though she had known that. It seemed so ridiculous to her. "You're kidding me right?"

Killian scowled and shook his head. "Why would I want them here?"

"They're probably worried sick about you."

"Yes, but they still think I have two hands." His voice broke towards the end, wavering on the last syllable. He immediately gulped his hot chocolate, gasping when it burned his mouth.

Emma stood and moved to the room's closet without another word. She wasn't one for invading privacy but this was an emergency. Killian needed his friends.

"What are you doing?" he hissed when she pulled out his cell phone. There were twenty missed texts and about forty missed calls from someone named Jefferson and an equal amount from a man named David and another named Robin. So these were his friends.

Emma tapped the contact for Jefferson and held the phone up to her ear. Killian cursed and tried to get out of bed but Emma ignored him. Jefferson picked up on the first ring. There were other male voices in the background

"Jones? Where have you been?" his voice was panicked, rough with emotion. Good, this was a real friend.

"This isn't Killian. He's in the hospital. There's been an accident." There was shouting in the background. A door slammed.

"A serious one?"

"He's fine. He can explain the whole thing to you. Room 407." A car started up, revving over the line. Killian cursed at her. She waved him off. These friends seemed to really care. Emma would have given anything to have had friends like these before she'd met Ruby.

"Wait, who are you? His nurse?"

Emma shook her head then realized she was still on the phone. "No. Just someone who brought him breakfast." She_ should not_ have made eye contact with Killian at that moment. Not when the look he gave her sent her mind into panic mode. His eyes screamed danger at her heart. She turned to the door, his gaze hot as fire on her back.

"Okay, we'll be there in five." The line went dead. Emma put the phone back, took a deep, steadying breath and then turned to him. She settled in the chair and ate a piece of bagel.

"Why did you do that?" Killian asked, lips pursed in a scowl.

"Because, they are your friends."

"So?" He raised a brow at her answer. She stifled a scream.

"You can't be that callous can you?"

He smirked but it wasn't a nice smirk. It was a self-loathing one. A destructive one. "I think the number of times I've ignored my friends' calls answers that for you."

Emma narrowed her eyes at him. Why was he pushing friends away? They were harmless. Friends didn't rip out your heart and leave you in a state penitentiary for two years. Friends didn't run as soon as they had the chance to save their own skin. Friends protected you. Friends had your best interest at heart. At least if they were real friends, which these guys seemed to be.

"But why?"

"Why do you care?" he shot back, angry.

Emma sighed, exasperated. "Because I know what it's like to be alone."

"Because I'm sure_ you_ know what it's like to watch your family die." His voice rose to a nasty intonation.

"Well consider yourself lucky then_ Captain _because I was left on the side of the damn road as a newborn. I've been alone since I could breathe. At least you had a family who kept you." Emma was done. She stood, slamming the chair backwards in her haste to leave. Killian shut his eyes in what Emma thought could be sadness. Like he was sorry for what he'd said. Too late for that now.

Before Killian could say anything the room door burst open. Three men toppled in, each shouting to be heard above one another as they ran to their friend. The first one in the room had a sweep of dark hair while the other two were fairer. The shortest one wore a green bandana around his neck like some sort of professional nature man. The third man was blonde and tall, regal in manner and commanding in tone.

"What happened?" the dark haired one asked, eyes sweeping Killian's thin body. Emma glanced at him and noticed his handless arm was tucked under a pillow in what seemed a nonchalant move.

"I'm fine. Just got beat up." Killian answered, hedging.

Emma shouldered her bag and moved towards the door. "Look under the pillow," she spat. The pillow was moved as Emma left the room. She could hear the enraged yelling all the way up the hall. That had been a nasty move on her part. But she was angry. Maybe she'd regret it later. But right now, it felt good.

"Hey, wait up," a male voice called. Since it wasn't Killian's, not that he'd be able to come after her anyways, she turned. It was nature boy. He caught up to Emma in a few jogged steps. "I'm Robin Locksley by the way. I- we- just wanted to thank you for what you did for Killian."

"I didn't do anything." Emma just wanted out of there. To be back home, with Henry and Ruby. To be safe from men looking to hurt her.

"You called us. Jones is proud. He didn't want us to see him like that. He's not very good at being vulnerable." Robin gave her a bashful smile, like a school boy. Emma was glad she'd called despite her anger at Killian. Robin and his friends seemed like good people. They'd take over visiting Killian and she'd never have to see him again.

"That's not my problem." What did he want from her?

Robin's eyes softened. "Look, I know this is none of my business but we heard what you two said before we came in." Emma's heart began to hammer uncomfortably. "It's why we burst in like that- to prevent Killian from shoving his foot further into his mouth. He's been hurt before. It changed him. I'm sorry he made you dredge up your own past in his anger."

"It doesn't matter." Emma tried to move past him but Robin adjusted himself so he stayed beside her.

"Look, just don't give up on him."

Emma glanced at him in surprise. "There's nothing to give up."

Robin gave her a sad smile. "Maybe not for you, but he's pretty devastated at what he said to you. It's written all over his face."

Emma shut her eyes and adjusted her purse strap. "Look, I have to go." She shot a look at Killian's closed door. "Make sure he eats." Walking as fast as she could without running Emma left the ward, not stopping until she was in the car with all the doors locked.

She dropped her head on the steering wheel, eyes closed, teeth worrying at her bottom lip. She stayed like that for a long time.


	7. Batman and Robin

A/N: Thank you for such lovely reviews! They make me so happy. I know this is short but it needed to happen. I'm going to try to get another chapter up tonight to make up for the length.

Emma didn't go back to work Monday. She took the whole day off. Originally she was only supposed to miss the morning in order to take Henry to a checkup but when Monday rolled around she just didn't feel like working. She'd rather spend the day with Henry- he was who mattered the most anyways. And what were paid sick days for if not for occasionally using them to spend the day at the park?

If Ruby actually knew what had gone down with Killian she would have told Emma she was running from her problems. And maybe Emma was. But she didn't care. They were her problems and she could decide what she wanted to do with them. If she so chose never to walk that hospital ward again until he was discharged then that was her prerogative. If she chose to spend Sunday night mourning the parents she never had by eating ice cream in bed then who was going to stop her. It's not like she had that kind of pity party often. But she didn't have to hear Ruby tell her she was running because she didn't tell Ruby everything.

By the time Emma had arrived home Saturday morning Ruby was already ready to go. She had a date with Dr. Victor Whale and insisted that she was in desperate need of a spa afternoon to get ready. He was a_ doctor_ after all. And for the first time that day, luck had been on Emma's side.

_"So how did it go?" Ruby asked, shouldering her bag and hugging Henry goodbye._

_"Fine." Emma forced her voice steady. She'd practiced that tone on the drive home so it came out clear and even though a little dull. Ruby gave her a long look but decided not to press her, to which Emma was infinitely grateful. "I called his friends."_

_Ruby raised a surprised brow. "Did you now? What were they like?"_

_"Three arrived. David, Jefferson and Robin. They seem like good people. You'll probably see them around a lot now."_

_"And will I still be seeing you around a lot?" Ruby asked pointedly. Emma fought down the roiling emotions inside of her before answering, as calmly as she could._

_"Don't you have a date to get to?"_

_"Subject change noted." Ruby didn't say anything else though before hurrying out of the apartment._

Henry giggled as Emma pushed him higher on the swing. The checkup had gone fine. He was a normal, healthy little boy. Emma always panicked before a checkup. There was a deep seated fear in her heart that something would be wrong with him, that something would take her little boy away from her. She could protect Henry from those who could hurt him- Neal didn't even know Henry existed. But Emma couldn't protect him from something going wrong on his end. That fear was stronger than the fear of Neal coming back. Which was saying something considering the nightmares she had.

But Emma had Henry. And he wouldn't ever leave her high and dry to save his own skin. That was the only thought that could mollify her after the nightmares.

"Mommy?" Henry asked as he swung back towards Emma, the swing he was on creaking every time it moved.

"Yeah baby?" She pushed him forward, his little legs wiggling in the air. The light up power rangers of his sneakers glowed every time he hit his heels together.

"Is my Daddy ever going to come visit me?" Emma grasped the swing chains to keep from falling. Henry didn't notice. "Because Ms. Astrid had John make a birthday card for his Daddy at craft time." Of course his baby sitter would do that. Of course she wouldn't realize Henry's full familial situation. Though in her defense Emma hadn't actually told her why Henry's father wasn't in the picture.

"No baby. What did I tell you about him?"

"That he's gone away to work. That it's just you and me." Emma couldn't exactly tell her four year old that his father didn't know he was alive and that he left Emma to go to jail for his crime. Eventually Henry would have to know but for now ignorance was bliss. Emma certainly wasn't looking forward to that uncomfortable conversation when the time came.

"Exactly. Just like Batman and Robin."

Henry nodded, accepting her answer. That was all her needed to hear from her. Mommy never lied in his eyes.

"Can I be Batman?" he asked, turning in his seat to look at her. "He has a cool car."

Emma laughed and Henry giggled along with her, pleased that he had gotten such a response.

"Of course Henry."

Henry had always been her Batman. Emma was just along for the ride.


	8. Cold Hot Chocolate with Cinnamon

The door to Emma's office swung open Tuesday afternoon to reveal Ruby carrying a plastic bag. She rooted out a clear container of salad and tossed it on the desk for Emma before removing her own. Ruby hooked an office chair with her foot and pulled it under her. She sat and adjusted her scrubs before looking up. Her expression was not one that Emma liked.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Emma asked tentatively, opening the box and rooting two forks out from the top drawer of the desk. She handed one to Ruby. Ruby never met her in her office for lunch. And she always warned Emma she was coming so they could coordinate breaks and go out to a local cafe.

"I want to know what happened Saturday." Her tone held no lightness._ Dammit._

Emma shoved a forkful of leaves in her mouth before she responded. "I told you, it was fine then his friends showed up." She tried to give Ruby her most innocent face.

"Just stop Emma. Are we really going to play the lying game?" Ruby brushed a strand of dark hair behind her shoulder and glared. She was_ so_ not impressed.

"Why do you think I'm lying?"

"Emma, do_ not_ pull this on me today. I know something happened. Killian won't even say hello to me and his friends are practically shoving food down his throat to get him to eat."

"How do you know that's my fault?"

"Because I'm not stupid, Emma. I knew Saturday that something had happened. But I figured you'd eventually tell me. And then you didn't. And Killian is suffering for whatever happened."

"His choices aren't mine," Emma practically yelled. How_ dare_ Killian's choices come back to be her fault? Ruby let her fork clatter against the desk.

"I know, but you affect him in some way that I don't understand. I don't know why or how but you do. And it's my job to look after him and make sure he gets better. So spill."

Emma rubbed a hand over her face. Ruby wouldn't leave until she explained what had happened. And it wasn't fair to put her best friend's job at risk because she was being stubborn. "He didn't think I knew what it was like to be alone."

Ruby's gaze softened. A sad smile pulled at her lips. "What happened Emma? Do I need to go stab him with a needle?"

Emma let out a harsh laugh. "I told him I understood and he mocked me. Said I didn't know what it was like to watch family die. So I told him where I was found and left."

A growl emanated from the back of Ruby's throat. "I'm totally going to jab him with that needle."

"And I love you for that." She patted Ruby's hand. Emma didn't know what she'd do without her. Probably go crazy from only talking to a four year old in her spare time. There were only so many times one could talk about Power Rangers in a row before it got overwhelming. "But I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay. Thanks for telling me." Ruby was sincere in her tone. She held up her salad. "But since I'm here until I finish this, what do you want to talk about?"

"You never told me about your date." That would keep Ruby occupied for the foreseeable future.

Ruby let out a contented sigh. "We made plans for Friday."

"A second date? So I take it that it went well?" She had to smile at Ruby's happiness. Dating a doctor would be good for Ruby. It was a good source of stability for her.

Before Ruby could produce an answer, and it seemed like it would be a good one, a knock sounded and the office door opened up. In rolled Killian in a wheelchair pushed by the tall blonde man from Saturday. The other man also dragged Killian's IV pole with him.

Emma froze. Ruby glared. Killian at least had the decency to look ashamed, staring at the to-go cup in his lap.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked once she'd gotten a hold of herself again.

When Killian didn't immediately answer the other man did, sighing in exasperation. "We-Jones- came to apologize for your last meeting."

Ruby gathered her things and stood quickly. "And that would be my cue to go." Emma shot her a pleading look and Ruby shrugged. She probably thought this would be good for Emma.

"I don't need an apology." What Emma needed was for them to leave.

"Sure you do," the blonde man answered, taking a seat on the other office chair against the wall.

Killian turned to him. "Are you really staying Dave?"

He nodded. "Someone has to make sure you're not an idiot again and say something nasty."

"Because you know just the right things to say?" Killian was clearly not amused.

"Mary Margret seems to think I do."

"That's because you're her Prince Charming."

Dave shrugged again and shot a smile at Emma. He really was charming. "What can I say? I'm a keeper."

Killian made a gagging sound. "Oh shoot me now."

"That can be arranged," Emma muttered darkly.

"Well, this is off to a good start. I'm David Nolan, friend and referee for today. Though I wish we could have met under more favourable conditions." He rose and put his hand out for Emma to shake. Emma couldn't help but take it, grasping firmly. David's expression, his posture, his easy smile all reminded her of the older brother she wished she had growing up in the system. She felt safe near him, which though puzzling was welcome.

David sat back down. "Start talking Killian. We all know how much you love the sound of your own voice."

"News to me," Emma replied. She glanced at the open door. She could get up and leave but this was her office, her territory. She wasn't going to back down.

"Obviously you don't know him then." David reached over and shook Killian's shoulder. He was still looking at his lap.

"I thought that was obvious." Her tone was dry, bored.

David didn't say anything and either did Emma. Both were looking at Killian, not that Emma was making her glances obvious. She couldn't deny that she curious as to what he had to say. But she would pretend she wasn't, pretend that he hadn't upset her. After several more long moments Killian raised his head and lifted the cup onto her desk. A peace offering.

"Hot chocolate with cinnamon right?" Killian's voice was soft but not timid, like he was talking to a cornered animal. Which was exactly how Emma felt. When Emma didn't immediately pick it up he gave a tight lipped smile. "I swear it's not poisoned."

"That's always a good start."

Killian's crystal clear blue eyes lit up at her tone. It wasn't acerbic and that seemed to make him happy. And hopeful. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, as much as he could hooked up to an IV machine and in a wheel chair. "Look, Swan, I made a mistake. I was feeling terrible about myself. I knew you'd been left, lass, that first day we met but I never expected your response to what I said. I didn't think you'd had that rough a start. It was vain and rude and bad form. I wasn't a gentleman, dredging up your past like that. And I pride myself on being a gentleman. If you could find it in your heart to forgive my indiscretion I'd be forever grateful. I'm not asking for us to be friends, though that would be nice." He was quiet for a moment, searching Emma's face intently. She didn't look away, waiting for him to continue. "But honestly? I missed you when you didn't come around. And I hated that it was my fault."

Emma had to concentrate on keeping her mouth closed. She'd never been asked for forgiveness before. People used her and threw her away. She had accepted not having them come back years ago. How was she supposed to handle the first man who did? Could she forgive him? There was always a first time for everything right? Killian's friends seemed nice- especially David. With friends like that Killian couldn't be that bad.

Emma had lived her life running. From anything and everything that scared her. Eventually she knew she was going to come to the end of the line and fall of a cliff. Eventually running wasn't going to keep her safe. Maybe it was time to backtrack and find the safe route?

Emma reached out and grabbed the hot chocolate, lifting it to her lips. She took a sip. "It's cold."

Killian laughed, plainly relieved. "I'm sure we could find a microwave around here somewhere for you." Despite herself Emma liked the sound of we. And the way his smile was genuinely happy that she had taken the peace offering. It felt good to be wanted.

Emma shrugged. "It's fine. It's like drinking chocolate milk."

"With cinnamon." He smirked, his eyes dancing.

"With cinnamon," Emma repeated trying not to grin. It felt good to forgive. That didn't mean she was going to go forgiving everyone who had wronged her but for now, she would be content in her decision.

David laughed from his spot on the wall. "And here, ladies and gentlemen, is progress."

"Shut up Dave." Killian's tone wasn't nasty, despite his words.

"Now, Emma, I really should be getting our patient back to his room before the doctor shows up and finds out I ran away with him. Thanks for listening." David stood and grasped the handle of the wheelchair in one hand and used the other to hold the IV pole.

"Swan," Killian called as he was being wheeled out the door backwards. He looked almost disappointed to be leaving.

"Yeah Jones?"

"Stop by after work if you have the chance sometime."

Emma shrugged and took another drink of the cold chocolate. "I'll check my schedule."

Killian gave her a dazzling smile before disappearing down the hallway. He had a very lovely smile, one that did things to Emma she hadn't experienced in years.

Emma leaned back in her chair and finished the peace offering. She was pretty sure her schedule was clear that week.


	9. Facing the Hoard

A/N:Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! I'm so pleased that people are enjoying my story. Hopefully that continues as the story progresses!

Emma didn't go to see Killian that day. She didn't want to seem_ too_ eager. Though, if she was being honest with herself she was eager. She missed him, inexplicably. There was no reason for her to miss his smiling face. She actually missed his scowl as well, but she_ really_ denied that one. Emma had never missed someone she had only known for a short while before- unless you counted her birth parents. Which Emma_ most certainly_ did not. Not even a little bit.

Emma went to see Killian the next day. Around three o'clock she packed up her things, locked the office and made her way to Killian's recovery ward. Three seemed like an appropriate time to go. That way if things went south she could easily cover with having to go get Henry. Even if it went well she would still have to go get Henry around quarter after four with traffic so coming at that time was her protection from becoming overwhelmed.

When Emma reached the room she paused at the partially open door, touching it forward a few inches. She stood frozen watching the room, wanting to run, to stay out of the way. Inside were four other people. David was there, laughing at an unheard joke. Robin and the other dark haired man, who Emma had, through the process of elimination, figured out to be Jefferson were sitting in wheelchairs, acting like Henry on a sugar high. The fourth person, a tiny pixie of a woman with short black hair and a white lacy vintage dress and opaque berry tights was brandishing a cookie at Killian like a sword. Was this his girlfriend? Did he have a girlfriend she didn't know about? Why was that twisting Emma's stomach? It wasn't like she cared.

Finally, Emma's gaze fell on a smirking Killian. He was sitting on the inclined bed, blanket tucked up to his waist. He wore an old band t-shirt, worn practically transparent in some places, the George Jones logo almost indiscernible from washing. Someone had tamed the scruff on his face to something that could almost be considered orderly. Emma was glad they hadn't taken the whole lot of facial hair. His hair stood up every which way from sleeping. He really was handsome. Which was a very scary thought.

Emma stepped back, making to leave. They all looked like a family. Emma would just interrupt them, ruin their afternoon. She could pick up Henry early- he would love that. Henry was her family. One more step and she would have been free but Killian spotted her. The breathy "_Swan_" rooted her to the spot.

Pixie woman bounced over to her, reaching out her hand. She caught Emma's before Emma could react and pulled her in for a hug.

"Oh you must be Emma. Come in." She let go of Emma and pulled her further into the room. Stunned, Emma stumbled after her, nearly tripping over her own feet. The other men had noticed her now. David beamed at her and Emma let herself send a tentative smile back.

"So Jones didn't chase you away for good?" Robin called, turning the wheelchair in one easy movement to face her.

"Bribed me with cold hot chocolate." Emma shuffled her feet. There was nowhere to sit, all the chairs, including the hospital wheelchairs were in use. She didn't belong there. "I didn't realize Jones had guests. I'll just leave you guys alone." She turned and got a few steps to the door before the woman grabbed her hand again, yanking her back.

"You can't leave now," she cried. "We haven't even thanked you for all you've done for Killian."

Emma blushed. "You must have me confused with Ruby. She's the nurse."

"But you're his_ friend._" Her blush grew hotter. Were she and Killian friends? Maybe on a good day. They were something.

"It's okay Emma. We'd love the company," David chimed in, sensing her discomfort. He gave her another warm smile and Emma felt safe looking at it. Before Emma realized what was happening the pixie woman guided her to the bed and sat her on it.

Emma shifted uncomfortably, trying to be gentle and not jostle Killian. Whose proximity Emma was painfully aware of. And of how quiet he was. There wasn't that much space between them, maybe only a foot. The gap could easily be closed.

"I'm Mary Margret Blanchard, David's fiancé," the woman said, bending in front of Emma and offering her a large cookie. So this wasn't Killian's significant other. Emma felt a strange flood of relief course through her. She pushed it away.

"No thank you. I'm fine." Emma replied, shaking her head. Those were their cookies. She had no claim on them.

"But Emma, I brought them to share. Please take one?" Mary Margret was so genuine when she asked that Emma had to reach out and grasp it. She let her gaze fall to her lap, studying the gingerbread cookie. Conversation swirled around her, making her light headed. She wasn't used to being treated like this by strangers. It was like being enveloped in a family. It was a lot to take in.

"You okay Swan?" Killian had closed the gap and murmured against her ear. Emma turned to him and was taken aback by the concern in his eyes. "You look like you're going to bolt. Or pass out."

"It's just-" Emma started breathily.

"A lot to take in," Killian finished with a small smile. His eyes were still wary, searching her face for signs of discomfort. "I know. But you get used to it after a while." Emma paused at that. Did he want her to get used to it? To be a part of this? Out of the corner of her eye she saw Killian's hand reaching towards her, fingers stretched longingly but cautious.

Before Emma could respond or Killian could touch her there was a clattering in front of her. Killian's hand dropped and Emma couldn't stop the flash of irrational anger at Robin who was on the floor, wheel chair tipped on top of him. Jefferson cheered from his seat.

"Boys, stop that. You're giving Emma a bad impression," Mary Margaret scolded.

"I think Jones did that well enough on his own," Robin quipped, peeling himself of the floor.

"But he gives me hot chocolate when he messes up." Killian's quiet laugh beside her made Emma's stomach flop. What was with her? She wasn't some hormonal teenager any more. She shoved some of the cookie in her mouth. It was really good.

"Cold hot chocolate," Killian answered. "With cinnamon."

Emma turned to him. He looked tired, sitting up without any help now that he'd moved to the edge of the bed beside her. He swayed a bit, catching his movement with his good hand. His stump sat behind him but offered no support to his weak body. "Why don't you sit back?" She whispered so as to not draw attention and embarrass Killian. She remembered what Robin had said about Killian being vulnerable. "Now it's you who looks like they're going to pass out."

His blue gaze flickered to his lap and then to the few inches separating them. "I'm fine where I am Swan," he murmured somewhat sadly back. He was being brave so he could sit by Emma. Well that was a first. But Emma wasn't going to let herself be the reason he got sicker.

"Back up Jones," she ordered, waving him back. She moved forward to close the gap, to show him she would follow and their legs touched. Heat shot up Emma's leg, straight to her chest. That hadn't even happened with Neal. She wanted to run, but Killian needed her. And right now, his health was more important than her fear.

Killian's eyes were hot against her as he moved slowly back, against the mattress. He leaned against his pillows with a sigh. Emma didn't look at him until she was back against the pillows beside him and she certainly didn't look at the pointed glances Killian's friends were exchanging.

"Thank you," he murmured, eyes closing in relief. The thank you held more than just appreciation for making him sit back. The heat in Emma's chest grew hotter, making it hard for her to breathe.

"Emma," Robin called. "You scared of the hoard yet?"

"You mean you and your Merry Men," she answered, gesturing around her with a smirk. "Not until you all put tights on and start dancing around the forest."

"Well Jones's pants are pretty tight," Jefferson answered. Emma couldn't stop her eyes from flicking to Killian's legs but they were covered by a blanket. She raised her eyebrows to hide her embarrassment.

"Do you make it a point of checking him out often?"

"How could he resist? With this body?" Killian answered, eyes opening. He smirked at Emma and waggled his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes in response.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," she replied, patting his leg. Her hand felt like it was on fire when she pulled it away. Killian seemed to be in the same boat, the way he looked at her. Emma studiously ignored the gaze as she fought her desire to run.

"Emma? Can I ask a favour of you?" Mary Margaret was sitting on David's lap like a bird when she spoke. She looked very pleased as to the exchange that had just transpired.

"Sure," Emma drawled, wary. This was not going to end well for her.

"Well Killian gets out in two days," she started. Emma's stomach dropped. Two days and he'd be gone from her life? That didn't seem fair. She forced her gaze to stay steady. Two days was more than she got with most people. She had to accept that. She could accept that. "And tomorrow at one they're fitting him for a prosthetic hand now that his staples are out. But we all have work and we can't take of the time if we want to get off when he gets released."

"Mary Margaret, I told you I was fine," Killian argued, fighting to sit up. Emma put up a hand and pushed him back against the pillows.

"And I told you I didn't want you to go through that by yourself." Her voice was firm, like a mother, though not like any of the foster mothers Emma had had. More like the kind on TV or in books, the kind daydreams were made of. She found herself not wanting to argue against her. Which was new.

"But Emma doesn't have to come. This isn't her problem."

"Killian," Mary Margaret started, moving towards him. She laid a hand on his, reaching over Emma to do so. Emma pressed herself back against the mattress to stay out of the way. "I know you're trying not to be scared. But this whole thing is scary. It's downright terrifying. And you shouldn't be alone when you are scared. No one should."

"Emma was alone when she was scared. She spent her whole life alone" The room went silent. Mary Margaret looked like she wanted to cry. David was half out of his chair, anger on his face. Jefferson and Robin made exasperated sighs and hung their heads in opposite ways, one backwards to look at the ceiling, the other looking at his lap.

Emma saw right through the angry comment though. She'd used the tactic herself on many occasions so she found herself not bothered by it. And it was the truth anyways. Emma knew that it sucked not to have someone there when the demons came out to play. She wasn't going to let Killian go through a formal meeting about his injury alone. Not when she had that much experience with isolation.

"I'll be there." Emma's voice was strong when she said it. She was proud of herself for it.

"But you work." Was that really his best argument?

"I work up the hall. It's not that strenuous a journey to get here. And by one I'll need a break. There's only so many case files you can read before-"

"You get reminded of your own?" Killian's eyes flashed as he cut her off. But it wasn't with anger. They were filled with desperation. Now Mary Margaret was crying, embarrassed that Killian was saying such things.

"I'm pretty familiar with my own," Emma replied with a glare. Just because the statements didn't bother her didn't mean he could be rude and upset Mary Margaret. "Don't really need reminding." She stood and the absence of Killian's warm body next to hers made her feel chilled. "I'm going to go before he says something that makes me want to punch him in the face. But I'll be here." She grabbed her bag from the floor and marched out of the room.

Mary Margaret yelled her thank you and Emma stalked up the hall to find Ruby. She wanted to know what the meeting would entail so she was prepared. Because a herd of elephants couldn't keep her away from the appointment and she wanted to know how to best confront the demons that would be showing up with the doctor.

Because if Emma was one thing, she was a fighter. And fighters were always ready.


	10. The Fitting

The light was off in Killian's room when Emma arrived at ten to one. Had Killian turned it off himself or had no one been in to visit him today? Emma hoped it was the latter. Killian's eyes were shut, a sweater hood pulled up over his hair, when she slipped inside the room and shut the door. Shutting the door seemed like the best plan- best to keep everything else out while she saw how he was.

She tip toed to his bed and sat in the chair left from where David had pulled it up beside the mattress. She itched to climb onto the bed and sit with him like she had yesterday but that felt kind of inappropriate, especially since she wasn't sure if he was actually sleeping.

Killian's face wasn't peaceful. His lips were pursed tightly into a line and his eyes were shut just a little too tight. It was a dead giveaway. Emma's voice was quiet when she spoke.

"I know you're awake."

"How do you know?" he quipped back, eyes still shut.

"Intuition." Killian smirked, making no move to get up. "Come on Jones, let's get you ready."

"Am I going to a party?" His voice was dry and brittle. So it hadn't been a good day so far.

Emma stood, and moved to the button that inclined the bed. It squeaked as it moved. Killian grunted as he sat up, his face contorting in pain. Emma stopped immediately and leant forwards.

"Sorry. You okay?"

He nodded. "Ignore the torture device before you slip and fold me in half. I can sit up."

"You sat for like two minutes yesterday before you nearly blacked out."

He shot her an unamused glance then sat up. The movement made his voice breathless when he spoke. "Swan. I. Am. Fine."

"Jeeze, you're like Henry when I try to put him to bed."

"I wouldn't put up half the resistance if you wanted to put me to bed."

Emma supressed the urge to slap him. And the unspeakable urge that coiled in her belly at his words. "Shut up Jones." She leaned forward to his injured arm. "At least let me help you roll the sleeve up."

"No." He jerked his arm away, holding it out to the side. The movement made him sway.

"But the doctor's going to need to get at the stump."

"Emma, please. Just sit with me until he comes? " If he hadn't used Emma she wouldn't have complied. But he sounded so broken that she immediately sat. He leaned against her, warm and solid, a support to keep him upright. "Is this okay?" His voice was barely a whisper but his eyes were intense on her.

Emma glanced at her lap. She really figured sitting with him like that would have bothered her more. But he felt like an anchor beside her, as if she was the one who was out to sea without a paddle, not him. The thought of him moving away from her made her chest clench "It's fine." Her voice was equally as quiet, not that she meant it to be.

"You don't need to be here."

"Yeah, I do." There was no other place Emma could be right now.

"I guess I should apologize for what I said yesterday. Mary Margaret had to leave because she was crying so much. She said she'd never forgive me if I didn't apologize."

Emma shrugged against him. He wobbled when she did, reaching out and grasping her arm to steady himself. "Sorry." Emma cringed at his lack of stability. "And no, you don't need to apologize. I know a defense mechanism when I see it." She tapped her head. "Built in lie detector."

"That's quite the superpower Swan."

"Comes in handy when I screen foster families."

Before Killian could reply the door opened, and Killian's doctor, the blonde one Ruby was dating, and another man entered. Killian stiffened beside her, the hand around her bicep tightening.

"You're okay, I'm here," Emma whispered against his ear. His hand relaxed a little in its grip.

"I know."

Dr. Whale flicked on the light and Killian groaned, turning against his shoulder to shield his eyes. "Good afternoon Mr. Jones," he said nearing the bed. "Are you ready to get your prosthesis fitted?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," he answered, his accent rough. So, not exactly ready but he wouldn't put up a fight.

The doctor reached for Killian's arm and he flinched away. "It's okay," Dr. Whale said gently. He reached for the arm again. "I'm just going to check the stump before we measure it."

"Let him have it Jones. I won't let him hurt you," Emma spoke softly, the hair around his ear fluttering from her breath. Killian let the doctor hold it.

Dr. Whale gently pushed up the hoodie's sleeve, revealing a stump bandaged in several layers of light gauze. Ruby had told Emma they'd have to unwrap it to get the correct measurements. She was prepared to see whatever was under the bandage.

"Look away Swan," Killian told her firmly, turning to face her while the gauze was removed.

"Nothing I haven't seen before," she replied. He shot her a shocked glance and she tried to smile back. She tried not to look at the limb that caused him so much pain. She tried not to look at the thick scar even though it was better than last time, when he'd had the panic attack. But she knew if he caught her looking at it he'd think she was repulsed. Which she wasn't. She was just sad.

"It looks good Mr. Jones. Almost completely healed. You should have no problem with it when you go home."

Killian's blue eyes flickered to the uncovered limb. His breath hitched. It was the same way his breath hitched when he had the panic attack. Emma knew she had to act now. If Killian had another panic attack, especially in front of the doctors, he'd never forgive himself.

She grabbed his chin, forcing his gaze back to her. While he didn't look like he was going to cry or be sick he did look like he was about to crumble into a million little pieces. A distraction was needed. Emma blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "Is that scruff an actual thing with you or could Mary Margaret not find you a razor?"

He raised a brow. "Do you want it to be a thing?"

His tone was solid. Good. "I was just wondering. Didn't think you'd care what I thought."

His eyes softened. He didn't even notice when the other man, the prosthetics technician, measured the circumference of his stump. "I'll always care what you think Swan."

"That's a faulty decision if I ever heard one." Emma's lightness sounded fake to everyone. Even Dr. Whale cringed at the floor.

"One of my better I suspect." How was she supposed to respond to that? Emma had never been someone's best choice. Usually their forced choice. Or their scapegoat.

Emma decided to watch the prosthetic fixing instead of replying immediately. The technician measured the length of his forearm and jotted it down. He measured several more circumferences and the diameter of his stump and wrist. When Emma felt Killian give a woozy sway she turned back to him.

"You doing okay?"

"What definition of okay are we using?" Killian looked emotionally exhausted. He wouldn't stay upright much longer.

"Not going to explode?" Emma suggested, checking his face for signs things we going downhill.

"Then I am okay." Just like his answer, Killian seemed okay, just drained.

"That's a start." The doctor and technician finished taking measurements and were now conferring as to what kind of hand would be the best fit for Killian's lifestyle. Emma didn't feel like listening. She eased herself against the bed and grasped Killian's shoulder, pulling him back against her so his head rested in the crook of her neck. He sighed in relief. Or at least Emma assumed it was relief.

"Is this okay?" Killian tried to twist around to see her better. She looked towards Dr. Whale when he moved closer again.

"Shut up Jones and pay attention, the doctor's about to tell us something."

"I like the us." His tone was silky but cautious.

"The term implies a plural. You and I make two. Didn't you ever take English?" Emma answered quickly.

He laughed. "Shut up and pay attention," he repeated.

The doctor rewrapped his stump before speaking. "Mr. Jones, we'll be making you two hands. One will be a static prosthetic, for all intents and purposes just for cosmetic appeal. The other will be one with articulated joints- so you will be able to move it to conform to your needs- be it carrying something or cooking- whatever you decide. It will take us between eight to ten days to complete. Please keep the pressure bandage on the stump when you go home to keep it in shape for your prosthesis. Ruby will bring in the pressure wrap in tomorrow morning before you sign out. Good luck with everything."

The two men gathered their things and left the room. Dr. Whale flicked the light off again as he left, shutting the door with a significant look in Emma's direction. Emma didn't like the look. What did he think Emma and Killian were? She was here as moral support. Of course, she was also lying in his bed with him partially on top of her. So, that didn't really work to dispel false impressions.

But Emma didn't move. She was comfortable. More comfortable then she thought she could ever with a man be again. Killian didn't try anything, just breathed deeply with his eyes shut. He seemed calmer now that the doctors had left. Or maybe it was because of his contact with Emma. That question didn't need to be answered right then.

"Thank you Swan," Killian murmured after a while.

"No problem Jones. I'm glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you were here." Emma couldn't help but stiffen at his words now that she didn't need to be strong for the both of them. It was all a lot, these little lines he was saying that made her feel different, not so much like the newborn abandoned on the side of the road. Killian noticed and slid off her shoulder, turning on his side so he could see her. He narrowed his eyes, studying her face. "Emma, I know you don't believe me when I say things like that. Or when anyone says things like that. But I do mean it."

"You'd be the first." Emma clapped a hand over her mouth and sat up quickly. She did_ not_ just say that out loud. Killian's soft eyes told her she had. And he'd heard. And understood._ Crap._ She needed out of there. And fast.

"It's okay Emma. I'm fine. I'll see you around?" He was giving her an out. She couldn't be more thankful to him at that moment.

Emma didn't fail to notice how he'd framed the last bit as a sentence either. It was her call. Everything with him had always been her call. And she really didn't want to give up what they had. Whatever it was.

"Yeah, I'll see you around." She grabbed her bag and took off.


	11. Welcome to the Merry Men

A strong knock sounded on Emma's office door. She put down the paperwork she'd been filing out- the Mills family wanted to adopt little Marie already. That helped to dispel the funk she was in thinking about Killian leaving. She regretted leaving him like that yesterday, running from his compliments. Now that she'd had time to think about them she was a little less freaked out. But just a little. She still couldn't understand what Killian saw in her, or why he felt the need to voice his thoughts but it made her curious. Was it because he was scared? Did he just need someone to hold on to while everything spun away from him? Emma understood that feeling. The thought of him leaving before she could understand what he was doing, or see his friends again- who she had decided she liked very much - made her irrationally sad. She wasn't going to be able to go see him though with this paperwork piled on her desk. But if she could place an orphan in a permanent home then she would have had a good day. Her feelings were inconsequential.

"Come in," Emma called, straightening up.

The door swung open to reveal Killian. He'd changed from yesterday. He wore a black Henley, the top buttons undone to show his chest, a black pair of sweatpants and a leather jacket, the collar popped. The jacket hid his stump and he had his other hand pushed into the coat pocket. The dark clothing helped to bring out the blue in his eyes. In Emma's humble opinion he should only ever wear black.

Emma couldn't help but feel like her day had gotten even better. She had been going to let her feelings fizzle out and die in the safest way possible. Return to her normal life, her normal emotional state. But he hadn't forgotten about her.

"To what do I owe this visit?" Emma asked, motioning for him to sit. Even though he looked better she was still worried about him overexerting himself. When he didn't immediately sit Emma stood and pulled the chair closer to the desk. "Sit before I make you sit."

He gave her a smirk. "I'm a big boy Swan. I can decide when I want to sit down."

"Big boys can still be big idiots," she quipped back, rocking the chair with her foot.

"As you wish." He flopped down onto the chair, leaning back, his good hand supporting his head as he stretched.

"You leaving now?" Emma asked, trying to sound casual, uninterested.

"Yeah, Robin just arrived to drive me home." Killian matched her tone, still smirking. He was_ so_ onto her.

"You sure you should let him drive you home after yesterday? He can't even control a wheelchair."

"I heard that," came Robin's shout. He poked his head through the door. "Afternoon Emma."

"Hey Robin," she replied with a nod. Was he really out there listening to their conversation? That was awkward. At least that explained how Killian got to her office without looking completely wiped.

"Get out of here Rob." Killian seemed just as embarrassed and a little annoyed.

"You gonna make me?" Robin raised a challenging eyebrow.

"Even with one hand I could still beat you to a pulp." Emma didn't miss the way he paused on hand.

She got up and closed the door on Robin, his head still peeking around the door frame until the last possible second. His eyebrows waggled and his eyes glinted the entire time like some sort of cartoon villain. "Bye Robin." His answering laugh was loud enough to pass through the closed door. It made Emma smile as she returned to her seat.

"So, you never told me why you were here."

Killian scratched behind his ear with his good hand, his features twisting bashfully. Was he actually nervous to answer Emma's question? That screamed danger. "I'm not sure how you'll handle it, Lass."

"That's rather ominous." What a terrible way to frame a question. After a pause she continued. "Come on Jones, out with it."

He took a deep breath. "What I said yesterday Swan-"

"It's okay if you didn't mean it. I understand you were stressed," Emma blurted.

He shook his head and leaned forward. "Swan- can you try something new and trust me?" His blue eyes searched her face. Emma tried to stay calm. "I meant what I said. Every word of it." Emma's breath caught. "Which is why I'm here. I didn't want to just leave without a way to ever see you again. I know that as soon as I walk out the door of this hospital I'm going to feel your absence. And I don't know why that is. But it's the cold, hard truth." He sat back in his chair. Emma stayed quiet, listening, waiting. "So I was wondering if maybe you and I could go out sometime?"

"I don't date-" The words spewed from Emma's mouth before she could stop them. Killian's face fell. She hadn't meant to sound like she was shutting him down. She took a calming breath. "Well. I don't date well."

He looked back up at her and the hopeful look in his eyes made Emma want to reach out and take his hand. But she didn't. Instead she waited for him to continue. "And I don't either. But I want to try. Because there's something about you Swan. And I want to know more about that something. But we can keep it casual. Maybe go for a coffee or a walk or something? And if you decide after that, that I'm not worth your time you can tell me and I'll never bother you again."

He paused and scratched the back of his neck again. Could Emma really date Killian? She'd sworn never to date another man after Neal. Men only led to heartbreak. But Killian was different than Neal. And he was only asking for one outing. Emma had already been alone with him several times and didn't explode. And if it didn't go well she knew he'd keep his promise of not bothering her again. He was a gentleman after all. Or at least he called himself one. She could handle one date right?

Emma put out her hand. "Let me see your phone Jones." The dazzling, genuine smile he gave her made Emma want to leap the desk and press her lips against it. Instead she grasped the offered phone, reminding herself to stay calm. She entered her number and handed it back.

"See you later Swan," he said rising. He still hadn't wiped that dumb grin off his face.

"See you Jones."

Killian opened the door and walked out. From her spot behind the desk she heard Robin ask loudly, "Did she say yes? Tell me she said yes."

Emma laughed and walked to the door. Leaning against the frame and crossing her arms she nodded to Robin who was helping Killian into a wheelchair. "I did."

He turned to Emma, rolling Killian around to face her as well. "Excellent. You just made Mary Margaret's week."

"Did you tell everyone I was going to do this?" Killian asked Robin, clearly unamused.

"Just my Merry Men, as Emma so lovingly calls us."

Killian let out a long suffering sigh. "So everyone?"

"Exactly. Oh, and by the way- welcome to the Merry Men Emma, we're pleased to have you join us." Robin gave a two fingered salute then turned the chair around and made his way up the hall. Emma stood in the doorway, a smile curving across her face, until she couldn't see them anymore before returning to her paperwork.

Friends. She'd just been included in Killian's group of friends. Ruby was going to faint from excitement when she found out Emma had made new friends. Especially since it was a group of them.

Just as she was sitting down her phone buzzed. Emma picked it up. "Emma Swan. How may I help you?"

"Hey Swan." His accent was thick over the phone. Emma bit her lip to keep back the goofy smile threatening to appear.

"Miss me already Jones?"

"Would you run if I said yes?" Killian was sincere when he asked. The tone helped Emma feel more secure in her decision to go on a date with him. He wanted to make sure she felt safe. Always.

"Not very far," Emma answered, trying to keep her tone light. "What can I do for you Jones?"

"How about Saturday afternoon? Or is waiting just two days a little too eager for you?"

"It's a little eager but I'll live." Truth be told, she liked the eager. Very few people were ever eager to see her. She could get used to the feeling.

"Awesome. Meet me at my place and we can go to the diner down the road?" He spouted off the time and place which Emma quickly scrawled across a pad of paper.

"You still okay with this?"

"Jones, I haven't changed my mind in five minutes. Don't test my patience. See you Saturday." He was laughing when she hung up. Emma couldn't help but join in.


	12. Lip Balm or Lipstick?

Emma wasn't regretting agreeing to go on the date by Saturday afternoon. What she was regretting was telling Ruby before she went. But she had needed a babysitter and Henry's regular one didn't work weekends. Ruby had been more than happy to oblige if it meant a date for Emma.

Emma pushed her face further into her pillow as Ruby fluttered around her room, searching through dressers and closets like she was looking for gold. Why, was beyond Emma. It wasn't like Emma was going to a ball. It was a casual date at a diner for crying out loud.

"What are you wearing on your date?" Ruby demanded flopping down onto the bed beside her.

"Clothes?" Emma answered, rolling onto her back with a sigh.

"Well that's good seeing as it's a universally accepted custom not to show up to old fashion diners naked. But seriously, Emma. Don't you want to look cute?"

Maybe. But she'd rather be comfortable. It was a diner. You weren't supposed to dress up for them. She didn't want to try too hard. Killian wouldn't be. "Ruby, you need to calm down."

Ruby shoved her shoulder. "Emma, darling, you know I love you but why are you being so boring? This is your first date in years, since-"

"Don't say it," Emma warned, glaring. She glanced at the clock- a half hour until she had to meet Killian.

Ruby looked apologetic, cringing towards the floor. Emma felt bad for snapping. She knew she hadn't meant anything nasty by the comment. "I'm sorry Emma. How about to make up for it I'll let you wear jeans?"

"Oh you will, will you?" Emma slid of the bed with a smirk and disappeared into the bathroom. The nerves in her stomach told her she maybe should have spent more time getting ready. It wasn't that she felt bad about her appearance. But there was that niggling fear that now that Killian was released from hospital and back out into the world she wouldn't seem as alluring. If that was even how he felt about her.

Emma squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. She was fine. Emma Swan didn't care what some guy thought of her. She redirected her gaze at the mirror. Her golden hair curled messily down her back. At least her hair held curl easily so she didn't have to worry about that. She touched up her eyeliner, darkening it where the line had rubbed off on the pillow. She paused, considering her small collection of lip products. Did she want to draw attention to her lips? She certainly had wanted him to kiss her in her office Thursday. But that was then. Things might be totally different now. She didn't want to look desperate. Emma sighed, exasperated at her lack of practice and knowledge of the dating world before grabbing a lightly tinted lip balm. She swiped it on before returning to her room.

Ruby had laid out an outfit for her before going in search of Henry. Dark skinny jeans and a lightly embellished cream shirt were stretched across the mattress. Tall black boots were set on the floor right in front of the other clothing. Comfy and cute. Ruby might be annoying sometimes but Emma loved her anyways. She certainly came in handy. Emma pulled on the outfit, tossing aside the old t-shirt and jeans she'd been wearing. Emma tucked her swan keychain underneath the neck of her shirt and walked into the main room to join Ruby and Henry.

"You look pretty Mommy," Henry cooed from his spot on the floor.

"Thank you baby." Emma put her arms out, motioning for Ruby to give her opinion next.

Ruby shrugged but smiled. "Diner appropriate. Could have put some lipstick on though." Emma rolled her eyes and took the leather jacket Ruby held out to her. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"And that would be my cue to leave." She kissed Henry goodbye before grabbing her purse and keys and hurrying out the door.

Emma was breathless by the time she reached her car. But it wasn't because she ran down the two flights of stairs to the parking lot. No. It was the nerves. The butterflies in her stomach stole her air. Sitting in the driver's seat she counted to ten. Breathe Emma._ Breathe._

She glanced at the clock._ Crap._ Ten minutes. The car started easily and she backed out of the space, only touching the pedal too hard once. Which considering how jittery she was, was a feat in itself.

Killian lived by the harbour in an apartment above a music store, seven minutes from Emma's place. It was a nice area but not one she had visited often. Ten feet from his apartment was a marina, all manner of boats lining the floating docks. Commercial boats and large pleasure crafts bobbed up and down beside each other, a silent camaraderie between the traditional working class and the rich. As she stared at the glistening water, transfixed, Emma caught herself wondering if Killian found it hard to come back to the harbour now, since he'd been mugged for his boat. Was the marina a constant reminded of all he had lost? Emma had never found out if they'd actually taken his boat during the attack or what the police had uncovered. Maybe he still had his boat? If he did maybe that was worse.

She parked the car by the curb and got out, smoothing down her shirt so it sat better. She caught her reflection in the windshield and gave her hair a rough shake. It had fallen down too nicely on the way over. A little mess was better, more casual.

Emma locked the car and opened the door that lead to the apartment above the shop. Killian had promised her he'd leave it unlocked for her when he'd given her the address so she didn't have to wait on the street. It was a quick climb to the landing, her feet padding quietly on the wooden steps, weathered by years of salt water being tracked in. Soft folk music drifted through the dark green door, inviting Emma closer. She waited, listening for the song to end. It was now or never. Her last chance to run._ Deep breath Emma. You're fine._ When all was quiet she raised her hand and knocked her knuckles against the worn door.

Another song started up, faster this time. The drum beat followed the rapid acceleration of her heart, pounding hard and fast against her ribcage. Emma stepped back, focused on her breathing, and waited for her date to appear.


	13. The Date

It wasn't Killian who swung open the door and greeted Emma with a tight bear hug. Stunned, Emma let Mary Margaret envelope her in her tiny arms before pulling her into the apartment. The music was even louder inside, making Emma jumpy with the energy it infused her with. The whole place smelled of baked goods which explained Mary Margaret's presence.

"Emma, come in. Killian's just finishing getting ready." Mary Margaret trilled as she guided Emma to the couch, an overstuffed worn leather that was soft under Emma's fingers. "I'm so glad you forgave him! I couldn't believe he said such things to you. He's usually such a gentleman."

"It's okay." Emma glanced around the apartment. Where was Killian?

The apartment was slightly larger than Emma's as it covered the entire upstairs space of the store. The walls were so light a blue that they looked white in the sun streaming through the salt streaked window. His furniture was worn, but not in a neglectful way. More like they were well loved. A wide chair sat against the far wall, a match to the sofa. A low wooden table sat in front of the couch but there was no room for Emma to stretch her feet out under it when she tried. She crouched a little to see better before realizing a guitar case was pushed under the table, hidden unless you were right near it. Emma's heart broke. Had Killian lost music as well?

Mary Margaret plopped down beside Emma and set her hand on Emma's shoulder, drawing her out of her thoughts. "Thank you for giving him a second chance Emma. I really do think you'll do wonders for him."

Emma shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. She wasn't Killian's saviour. It was just a date. What did Mary Margaret think she was?

"I'm not sure I understand," Emma replied, searching the room for Killian again. If he was such a gentleman why did he keep her waiting?

Mary Margaret cringed sadly. "A lot has happened in Killian's past. I know he's explained some of it to you."

"You mean his family?"

She nodded. "That's a major part of it. They died before he left England. Just, go easy on him if he has a hard time."

"A hard time with what exactly?" Emma asked, nerves multiplying.

"Anniversaries."

Before Emma could ask what type of anniversaries she was talking about Killian came out of what Emma assumed was his bedroom. If Emma had thought he was handsome at the hospital, she didn't know what to think now. He wore dark fitted jeans and a long sleeve red plaid button up, his leather jacket open on top, the collar popped just as it had been when she last saw him. As he stepped closer Emma realized why he'd kept her waiting. The buttons weren't properly done. He must have tried to do them himself. The middle one had slipped out from the button hole and it looked like he had given up with the top set. Or maybe he just really liked showing off his chest. Even a little dishevelled he was handsome enough to take Emma's breath away. A fact which she promptly hid behind a cough.

He gave Mary Margaret a harsh look and Emma wondered if he'd heard what she said. "Stop scaring Emma, lass."

"I'm not scared," Emma replied, standing to meet him. Before she could stop herself her hand shot out and did up the missed button.

"I'm glad," he murmured back, eyes watching Emma's fingers. She let her hands drop. The CD had stopped playing, plunging the group into a loaded silence.

"Shall we?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow, trying to diffuse the tension.

Killian gestured towards the door in a sweeping move with his good arm. "Ladies first."

Emma smiled and made for the door, Killian right beside her. He didn't mention Mary Margaret's comments and neither did she. That had been Killian's story to tell. She wouldn't have liked Ruby telling him about Neal. Or her subsequent stint in Phoenix. Killian had secrets. Emma had known that going in. Judging him on having secrets would have been a bit hypocritical.

She let the anniversary comment go as they made it to the street. He started up the road in silence. Emma kept pace, waiting. A block down the road his knuckles brushed hers. Emma's breath hitched. Had that been an accident? She glanced towards their hands as covertly as she could. No. He was definitely reaching towards her, trying to keep it casual as he watched the road. Huh.

She studied his face. Despite the nonchalant expression Emma knew his lightness was forced. She glanced around him, noticing how far he'd shoved his stump into his pocket. It must have been hurting him the way he pressed against the pocket fabric, making it jut out a bit from stress at the seam.

The next time he brushed her hand Emma stretched her fingers and caught his hand. "Is this your first time out?" She whispered it close to his ear as they passed another couple. Emma didn't miss Killian's scowl at the way the other man held onto both of his partner's hands in his, bringing them up to his lips and making her giggle.

"That obvious lass?" He turned his head from the couple to look down at Emma, their noses almost brushing. Emma pulled back a little, turning towards the road again.

"Only if you know what you're looking for." When Emma had gotten out of prison she thought everyone she walked past could tell, as if she had a big jail bird sign flashing over her head. So, she knew the feeling. "It's okay you know. I don't mind."

"But I do. I'd rather not make a spectacle of myself." There was shame in his voice. Emma wasn't having any of that. This was her first date since Neal and dammit if she wasn't going to enjoy it.

Normally she wasn't so bold around men but after thinking of all Killian had lost- the guitar, whether walking by the water was devastating and how he had no family- she couldn't help it. She let go of his hand, ignoring Killian's sigh at the loss of contact, and let herself fall behind him a few paces before crossing behind and quickly rejoining him on his other side. Before Killian could react she stuck her hand in his pocket, winding her fingers around the stump, forcing him to ease up on the pressure he was putting on it.

Killian gasped and tried to pull away. Emma held on. "You don't need to do that, lass. I know it's awful." He tried to use his other hand to guide her out of his pocket.

"You know what's awful?" she asked giving him a little shove. "That we're still walking. I'm_ starving._"

"Well it's a good job then that we're here." Killian smiled as he held open the door for Emma. She didn't let go of his arm, instead tugging him with her so they ended up jamming together in the doorway for a brief moment. The contact made Emma flush. He bent to her ear. "Why so jumpy Swan?"

She rolled her eyes and sat at the nearest booth, only letting go of his arm to slide into her seat. Killian chose the side that would allow his injured arm to stay hidden from view against the wall, leaning against it comfortably. Emma didn't mention it.

He handed Emma one of the menus that sat on the laminate table top. "So what will it be?"

"What's good?" Emma asked, taking in the retro diner around her. It was busier than she would have expected and several of the women at surrounding tables were ogling Killian, completely ignoring Emma, while their eyes bugged out of their heads.

"Lasagna," Killian replied, oblivious to the women staring.

"Then that's what I'll have."

Killian waved at one of the waitresses. She came over with a smile. "Killian, how are you? I heard you were in an accident. I'm off in twenty minutes if you want to talk about it." Emma resisted the urge to get up and leave._ Was she invisible?_

"Actually, just two lasagna's please." The woman glanced at Emma with disdain, lip curling as she took in Emma's casual outfIl, but left, calling the order into the kitchen. Killian sighed, a long suffering noise, and turned back to Emma. "Sorry about that lass. She's wanted to date me since I started coming here. But I'm not interested."

Emma held up two fingers, rubbing them together. She smirked at Killian's confused look. "World's smallest violin Captain."

"I'm glad you're on my side."

"Not on this issue. I've got bigger fish to fry."

"And what would they be Swan?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Maybe I would." Killian leaned forward, tongue wetting his bottom lip in a way that made Emma wish she'd put on something nicer than a chap stick. "So, Swan, do you know how lovely you look?"

"Is that a line?"

"Is it working?" He sent her an amused grin. Emma was just glad that he was finally relaxing.

"No."

The waitress came back with the lasagna. One of the plates had the lasagna cut up into tiny little pieces. She dropped it unceremoniously in front of Killian. "How was the hospital? Did they manage to reattach your hand Killy? I heard they cut it off?" Killian's gaze fell from her to his lap and he shifted uncomfortably. Emma turned to the waitress, trying to keep from punching her.

"Okay, look here bitch- I've seen things you can't even dream of. So unless you want me to go all prison on your ass you'll get out of here and take a charm class." She raised a brow at the waitress who'd turned red. Four long seconds passed before she turned away with a huff. Emma reached over and grabbed the plate she'd set in front of Killian and took it for herself, pushing her plate towards him.

"Did you just use the phrase_ go prison on her ass?_"

Emma shrugged, shoving some of the pasta into her mouth. "Maybe."

"You're terrifying."

He smiled at her. A genuine one that made Emma feel playful. "But apparently I'm also lovely."

"Thanks for doing that Swan."

"I hate bullies." She ate some more pasta, watching Killian try to cut his own dinner. Pride flared when he was able to eat without a hitch._ Take that jealous waitress._ "But do you mind if I ask- why didn't they reattach your hand?"

Killian didn't look down like he had at the last mention. This time he focused on Emma. "The cops didn't find it. I think it fell in the water."

"So you were on your boat at the time?"

Killian nodded. "Yeah, I noticed someone flashing a light at me from the dock so I sailed over to see what they wanted. I'd been running a test sail- trying out a new set of spark plugs. I thought it was Robin or something. It wasn't."

At his pained tone Emma didn't press anymore. Instead she waited for Killian to continue, eating her lasagna quietly. If he wanted to tell her anything more he would. "It was a random act of violence. When I screamed and people showed they ran. They didn't get the boat." Emma couldn't tell if he was relieved or saddened by that.

"Have you been down to see it since you got home?"

"I- I just can't." Killian finished the rest of his dinner in silence.

Emma regretted asking the question but she had been curious. He had asked to be called captain at one of their first meetings. The sea was obviously important to him. He lived right beside it after all. Emma just couldn't imagine him losing that along with everything else. It would have been like Emma losing Henry after everything she'd been through to keep him.

Emma was pretty sure the date was over by then- lost at her questions and the waitress's rudeness- when he spoke again, so quiet, his accent so thick that Emma had to lean forward to hear. "I can't go back. Not when I know the boat hasn't been cleaned. I- I just can't see that again." Emma's heart thumped. She reached out and grasped the fingers playing with his fork.

"Give it time Jones. All things take time to heal."

"Are you still healing?" Killian's eyes were an intense blue when he asked. Normally Emma would run from such a question, from such a heated stare. Instead she pulled the fork from his hand and stood up. Killian threw a bill onto the table and did the same. He didn't leave a tip and Emma didn't feel obliged to either. Unless the tip was_ grow a conscience_ scrawled across a napkin.

"Yeah Jones. Some things take more time than others." She retook his hand, making sure the waitress could see and lead him out of the diner.


	14. Two

They held hands the entire way back to Killian's apartment. He stopped at the ground floor door, leaning back against it. Emma crossed her arms over her chest when he did, waiting._ Your move Jones._ "So Swan, on a scale of one to ten how much do you want to run from me?"

Emma thought about it carefully. The date had gone fairly well for two people who were supposedly terrible at that kind of thing. She hadn't got up and run. She had even felt her defensiveness spur when the waitress dared be rude to Killian. She would have thrown her right out of the restaurant for doing that but she had wanted to make a good impression on her date. The only people Emma found herself that defensive for were Henry, Ruby and the foster children in her care. And maybe Neal- once upon a time. But not anymore._ Never again._ Killian had been honest with her when she'd asked about the boat. He deserved her honesty. He'd earned it.

"Two?"

"That's better than I expected," he returned with a smile. "You know, the gang's probably upstairs if you want to come up?"

"Do your friends normally break into your apartment while you're gone?"

"They insist it isn't breaking in if they use keys. They've all made themselves spare sets. Mary Margaret probably called them all so they'd be here to ambush me."

"Then I'll let you go. I wouldn't want to spoil their fun. I really should be getting back to Henry before Ruby tells him something I'm not going to want to deal with. Call me."

"Hold still Swan," he murmured, catching her arm as she went to turn.

Emma didn't move. Killian bent forwards and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. It was barely long enough for Emma to register the pressure of his lips on hers. But it still made her breathless. Killian pulled back far too soon, his eyes dark despite the chasteness of the peck. Emma licked her bottom lip once, watching his face. A smile stretched across his face, completely content. That's all he wanted. Or that's all he was going to let himself have. Emma didn't feel quite as restrained.

"Hold still Jones," Emma whispered back. She brought her hands up, cupping his cheeks, the stubble covering them rough against her fingertips. Emma moved back towards him, eyes sliding shut as she pressed another kiss to his lips, lingering there for as long as she could stand. She wanted to go farther, she did. But if she did that "two" she'd answered earlier would sky rocket. And she had something she wanted to do.

Emma pulled back, delighted to see his eyes still closed, as if he was savoring the kiss. She smirked before stepping back and reaching around him. She pushed the door open. "Bye Jones."

"Bye Swan."

Emma got in her car and drove up the road and around a corner before parking and sneaking back, keeping close to Killian's side of the road so he wouldn't see her if he looked out his window. When she reached the marina she slipped in, closing the gate behind her and hurrying down the ramp to the docks. She glanced back to make sure she couldn't be seen from his apartment before surveying the scene.

She didn't actually know what Killian's boat was called. But she knew she needed to see it. Knew she needed to do something about it. She needed to give Killian back the sea because he'd given her something that she was still trying to process. He'd given her the chance to be with him at whatever capacity she was capable of. Emma had meant what she said back at the diner, that she was still healing from Neal, from a lifetime of being left. And he was okay with that. Even though he didn't know her full story.

Emma walked the docks until she found a larger commercial fishing boat, The Jolly Roger, tied right at the very end, as if it were an afterthought. It was obviously Killian's boat and it was a good job that Emma wasn't squeamish. Dried blood flaked across the deck and washboard in an amount that made Emma surprised Killian had made it through the attack. The blood was streaked from where he fought his attackers, boot prints still staining the wooden boards of the dock from the attackers who had fled. There was no sign that the police were still investigating the boat. No crime scene tape prevented her from nearing it, though shreds of the tape still clung to the cabin where it had been put up then pulled down.

The boat really wouldn't be that hard to clean. It was made of fibreglass so the blood wouldn't have soaked into it. A little bleach and a hard scrub brush would return The Jolly Roger to its prior condition. Killian might not be thinking about returning to work as a captain any time soon but it would be good to give him the option. At least if the boat was clean he could spend time on it himself, even if that just meant sitting on the deck and drinking a beer while still floating at the dock.

Emma snapped a few pictures of the boats exterior with her phone, just in case she needed to refer back to them when she came back looking. If they moved the boat or it rained she wanted to make sure she could still locate it. Flicking through the pictures she noticed how worn the name of the boat was, stretching across the hull in faded black lettering. She could repaint that too. Really fix the boat up for Killian.

She would check with Robin to make sure the police investigation was done before cleaning the boat. Now how to get a hold of Robin? Maybe Ruby would have Robin's contact information back at work? Or David's or Jefferson's. Really, she wouldn't be picky. She just needed someone who cared enough about Killian to let her do this for him.

Emma slipped her phone back in her pocket and left the marina, ideas swirling in her already busy mind. Today had been a very unusual day for her. Though not a bad unusual. Which was also out of the ordinary. It had been the type of day she could get used to.


	15. Night Mission

A/N: All characters are the property of ABC and the show's creators. Just thought I'd put that here since it's been a while since a disclaimer.

"Hello, Emma Swan?" Emma trapped the phone between her shoulder and ear as she got up to let Ruby into her office.

"Hi, Emma. It's David. I hope you don't mind but Mary Margaret got your number Saturday while Killian was getting ready."

Ruby shot her a confused look. Emma was supposed to be on lunch break. She had asked Ruby to come down to try and get one of Killian's friends' numbers from her. Apparently she should have just waited a few minutes. Emma mouthed _David_ at her and pointed at the chair. Ruby sat and waited, motioning for Emma to put it on speakerphone. She complied, pressing the button, knowing that if she didn't Ruby would make her replay the conversation verbatim as soon as she hung up.

"No David. That's fine. I was actually trying to get a hold of you anyways." Emma sat back in her chair, biting her lip. How was he going to take such a request? Would he think her foolish or caring? It's not as if it was a minor thing she was planning.

"Oh really?" David asked amused. He didn't sound suspicious which Emma took as a good sign. This was David. Kind, brotherly David. She could tell David her plan.

"Really, but since you called first, tell me what I can do for you?"

He chuckled and Ruby motioned her hands at various heights._ Which one is he?_ Emma stuck her hand as high as it would go, motioning that he was the tallest._ Blondie?_ Ruby mouthed back. Emma nodded.

"Well, we were wondering if you'd be willing to come to a bonfire we're having Friday night. We'll all be there."

"What's it for?" Emma's chest twinged because Killian hadn't mentioned it when he'd texted her Sunday to see when Emma was free again.

"It's kind of a tradition for us. We go, have a good time, play some music and leave when the fire has burnt down."

Now Emma understood why Killian hadn't said anything. "So it's a surprise for Jones? I take it you noticed the guitar shoved under the table."

David sighed. "Yeah, it's been there since he got home. I don't expect him to do anything with it but if we could get him to sing again, it might help with the adjustment. Robin's going to bring his guitar. Mary Margaret thinks Jones would be more receptive to trying, to having fun, if you were there."

How could Emma say no when she was trying to make Killian feel better herself? "What time?"

"Seven? At West Point Beach? Bring a sweater or blanket or something since it gets chilly."

Emma caught Ruby motioning to her then pointing to herself, an excited glint shining from her brown eyes. Emma made a face.

"Can I bring Ruby?"_ And Victor_ her friend mouthed. "And her boyfriend?"

"I don't see why not. The more the merrier." Ruby did a happy dance in her chair. "So what did you want Emma?"

"I'm just wondering if the police investigation on Jones's boat is finished?" She tried not to sound too nervous.

"Yeah, they've got all they can get from it. It was cleared a few days before Jones was released. The case isn't really going anywhere. Why?"

Emma sighed. "I went down to the marina after I left Jones to see the boat. He said he couldn't back know it wasn't clean."

"So you're going to clean it for him?" David's voice held a wondering tone as he guessed what she was hinting at.

"Do you think that's inappropriate?" Emma asked in a rush, suddenly embarrassed by her plan.

"No!" David was equally quick to answer. Emma sighed in relief. "That's perfect Emma. Thank you. Mary Margaret's going to cry when she hears."

"Can we keep it between us right now David? I don't want Jones finding out. Not until the time is right."

"Okay Emma. It will be our little secret. But we'll still see you and Ruby Friday?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Bye David." Emma couldn't keep the wonder out of her own voice. But it wasn't because of being invited to a bonfire or being able to clean The Jolly Roger. It was because she had a secret with David, the kind that friends kept. It felt nice to add to her miniscule list of friends.

"Talk to you later Emma." The line clicked off and Emma refocused on Ruby.

"How would you like to do me a big favour?" Emma asked, leaning on the desk and giving her friend the best puppy dog eyes she could manage.

"You want me to help clean his boat?" Emma nodded and Ruby smirked, rolling her eyes like she was put out. Emma knew she wasn't. "It's a good job I love you kid."

Emma grinned. "I know. Take some gloves from work and meet me at my place tonight. Ten o'clock."

"Do you want me to call Granny and see if she can look after Henry for the night?" Ruby's grandmother had been known to pinch hit as a babysitter when both Emma and Ruby were busy.

"Henry will be ecstatic." Henry loved spending time with the woman they all called Granny. In his opinion she told the best stories.

Ruby pushed up from her chair. "I'll go do that now. And tell Victor about Friday. See you later Em." She left the office and Emma pulled out a pad of paper to make a list of things she would need for their night mission. It was going to be a long night.

Emma had been right. Henry was practically bouncing when she told him that he would be spending the night with Granny. Emma sometimes wondered if he thought of her as his own grandmother since Emma had explained to him that she didn't know where to find her own parents when he asked about them last year. She was okay with him looking at Granny like that. Family was family- whether you were born with it or found it.

After dropping Henry off at Granny's Emma drove to the hardware store and picked up two hard wire brushes, a new mop seeing as she didn't want to get blood all over the one she used at the apartment and a big bottle of bleach. She also grabbed a small can of black paint and two narrow paintbrushes on her way out.

At exactly ten o'clock Ruby entered Emma's apartment dressed all in black, looking like some sort of superspy. Black leggings and a long sleeve black shirt concealed her skin and her hair was tucked up into a black knit beanie.

"You planning a heist after we finish?" Emma asked raising a brow. She hadn't had the same idea as Ruby, instead opting for her oldest clothes.

"You're so boring," Ruby fake whined, throwing a bag at Emma. She caught it and peered inside. It held multiple pairs of latex gloves and a large emergency flashlight.

"But I don't look nearly as suspicious as you do," Emma replied pulling on a hoodie and grabbing the other bag of supplies.

"You're missing the point Em. That's the purpose of all the black. No one can see me."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Okay then James Bond, let's do this."

Ruby trotted out of the apartment first, grabbing the door for Emma. It was an uneventful car ride over as there was little traffic so late at night. Emma parked around the corner of the marina again and led Ruby down to the boats. The lights were off at Killian's apartment when they passed which was a definite relief.

When they reached the boat Ruby froze. "_Damn Emma._ You didn't tell me it was like this."

Emma glanced back as she boarded the boat. "You and I have both seen worse things."

"Yeah, on CSI."

"You don't have to stay. I can do this alone."

Ruby worried at her lip for a moment before shaking her head and following Emma aboard. "I've got your back Em." She grabbed one of the pairs of gloves and slipped them on, snapping the cuff around her wrist. Emma followed suit.

"So this is a surprise?" Ruby asked as she grabbed a bucket and filled it with seawater. She splashed it on the deck as Emma started to scrub.

"Yeah. He has no idea I've even seen his boat."

"When are you going to tell him?" Ruby stepped around the growing puddle and grabbed a wire brush to help.

"When he needs it. I'll see how Friday goes before I decide."

Ruby threw another bucket of water on the deck to splash the bloody water out the washboard scuppers. She grinned at Emma, despite their macabre surroundings.

"What?" Emma asked cautiously as she poured some bleach onto the deck and picked up the mop. That grin was never a good thing.

"You care about him."

"I never said anything of the sort. It's just been one date."

"Don't lie to me Emma. It's okay to admit it. For as long as I've known you you've had no interest in dating, and certainly no interest in completing a gesture this large for someone who wasn't one of your foster kids." She scrubbed at the washboards, returning them to a shiny grey, letting her statement sink in. "I've seen you work miracles for them. This is the first time I've seen you do one for yourself."

"This is for Killian," Emma immediately answered. "It's not my boat."

"_Thank you_ for stating the obvious Em," Ruby drawled. "But this is for you too. When people care about each other they do nice things. This is going to show him you care. And honestly, that's going to be the best thing for you since Henry. Because he's going to get in there." She poked the space above Emma's heart to prove her point.

"Since when did you become Dr. Phil?" Emma muttered, running the mop across the grey desk paint. She didn't say anything more on the subject.

The Jolly Roger really hadn't been that hard to clean. The bleach had taken away any residual staining along with the blood so the deck and washboards sparkled. Ruby grabbed the mop from her and held up the bag of paint and a flashlight.

"Let's go fix that sign." Ruby clamoured back over the side and pointed the flashlight at the name, resting it against the deck so it acted as a spotlight. Emma held the paint can out to her and she dipped a brush in.

"So do you like his friends?" Ruby asked after a while as she ran her brush down the R, darkening it.

"Yeah. They're really nice. They already include me in their group. "

Ruby set her paintbrush down and enveloped a surprised Emma in a hug. "I'm so proud of you Emma," she cried before releasing her.

"Because I managed to paint a straight line?" Emma asked, gesturing to the crisp edge of the T she'd just done.

"That you're letting yourself make friends dummy. I've had the monopoly on you for far too long."

"You're still my best friend Ruby. Even if you do call me names. They haven't changed that."

"I know. And your mine."

Emma made a gagging sound. "Can we stop with the sap now? I've had enough today to last me a lifetime."

Ruby laughed but complied and they finished painting the name in companionable silence. Emma resealed the paint as Ruby packed up the supplies. The boat was spotless. If someone didn't know the story they'd never know that the boat had been the scene of such a violent attack.

Ruby clapped Emma on the back as they reached the car again. "You did good kid."

Emma allowed herself a little smile because she-they- had. But what Emma really hoped for was that the good she'd done cleaning was only the beginning.


	16. Lover of the Light

A/N: Lyrics from Lover of the Light by Mumford and Sons. The version I listened to as I wrote the part it's quoted in was the version from the CD The Road to Red Rocks (Live). Give it a listen if you haven't heard it before. It's better than the studio edition in my opinion. All characters found in this story are property of ABC and Once Upon a Time.

Ruby balled up a flannel blanket and tucked it under her arm, giving her a free hand to grasp Victor's. Emma trailed behind with her own- a dark checkered blanket, the kind that was made out of one single sheet of fleece fabric. The beach was already chilly as they made their way across the sand to where a bonfire burned high, throwing shadows on the people gathered around it. It wasn't hard to find Killian's silhouette as he was the only one sitting down. Emma cringed, studying him. Things didn't look to be off to that great a start.

Victor had picked Emma and Ruby up at Emma's after Emma dropped Henry of at Granny's again. That woman needed to be sainted for being so willing to spend time with a hyper four year old. Victor had brought a cooler with him full of beer and soda. Emma had offered to be the designated driver and for both Ruby and Victor crash at her place when the night was over. The Cola tucked under the layer of ice was hers.

Emma caught up to the couple, just as they reached the fire. It had been built around a tower of driftwood, the salt content of which causing the flames to flicker green on occasion. Large driftwood pieces and coolers had been placed in a circle around the bonfire as seats.

Mary Margaret was the first to spot the newcomers, bouncing barefoot over to them. She hugged Ruby and Victor after introductions were made and then took it upon herself to introduce the couple to the others, taking Ruby's hand and guiding her to where David had sat down, leaning back against a blue cooler.

While Ruby and her boyfriend were occupied Emma crossed over to where Killian sat on a large piece of driftwood. She stood in front of him, hand on her hip. He rubbed his stump, looking at it intently.

"How's it going Jones?"

He looked up, noticing her for the first time and dropped his hand. A small smile played about his lips. "Better now." He motioned for Emma to sit beside him. She did, spreading the blanket over both their legs to keep out the salty chill of the air. "I didn't know you were coming tonight Swan."

"David invited me," Emma replied adjusting the blanket as she waited for his reply. She'd been nervous as to what he'd think of her showing up.

"I'm glad he did." Killian's voice wasn't right but he was valiantly trying to hide that as he stared at the fire.

"You okay there Jones?"

His eyes flickered to Emma's. "What makes you think anything's wrong?"

Emma tapped his head then her own. "Lie detector. Want to tell me what's up?"

He shook his head and glanced up as Robin bounced over, handing him a beer and Emma one of her cans of soda. Jefferson was hot on his heels. "Not right now."

"Emma," Robin called before she could reply. He was slightly tipsy already, his voice loud. "I'm so glad you could come. We missed you."

"Thanks Robin," Emma laughed, pleased. Drunk minds told sober truths right?

"Yeah, you make Jones mope less. He's such a diva when you aren't around." Jefferson folded himself onto the sand in front of them, looking very pleased with his observation.

Killian scowled. "Just so you know, lads, that beer in my fridge is no longer open for your consumption."

"See?" Jefferson crowed with a laugh. "Total diva." Killian kicked sand at him which he less than gracefully dodged.

Killian turned back to Emma. "So does this count as a second date?"

"I think that's up to you Jones since I sprung myself on you."

"If it's a date do I get a kiss?" He leaned towards Emma, a smirk pulling up the side of his face.

Emma put a hand to his chest, stopping him. "Only if you earn it Captain." She tipped the pop can to her lips and he pouted like a child who'd gotten coal for Christmas. Emma leaned into his ear. "You are a total diva," she whispered.

"Get a room," Robin hollered from the sand.

"What are you twelve?" Emma shot back, slightly embarrassed. She must have stiffened at his words because Killian pulled away from her.

"Hey Rob, come here," David called across the circle. Ruby and Victor had settled next to him, Ruby talking animatedly with Mary Margaret. Robin scrambled up and hurried over, exchanged a few words with David then disappeared into the darkness.

He quickly returned with a guitar case slung over his back. Now it was Killian's turn to stiffen. Robin settled on a cooler and took out a guitar, balancing it on his knee. He began to sing Wagon Wheel, fingers strumming while his foot kicked the cooler in time. Killian didn't move. Emma wasn't sure if he was even breathing. She didn't move either, afraid that a flinch would be the trigger on his tenuous emotions and they'd all go down.

When Robin finished he turned to Killian. "How about you sing us something Jones? You know how Mary Margaret likes your voice better than mine."

"No." Killian's tone was firm, restrained.

"Come on Killian. Whatever you want." Killian shook his head, turning to the ocean as Mary Margaret spoke. "Why not?"

He turned back to her, eyes blazing. "Because, it's not the same. I can't play along. I've got one hand. Last time I checked you need two."

He got up and stormed up the beach, practically sprinting away from the group. Emma scrambled up after him. "I'll talk to him." She ran after him.

"Jones, wait." He slowed his pace but didn't stop. They were pretty far from the group now. "I told you to wait dammit," Emma cried, grasping his shoulder and pulling him back. He broke free and kept moving, the breaths rattling out of him sounding like marbles being poured from a cup. "Don't leave me behind Killian." The words poured from Emma's mouth before she could take in their full meaning.

Killian turned. Even in the dark Emma could see wetness in his eyes. But he didn't let it spill over. "I would never leave you Swan," he murmured taking a step closer.

"Then tell me what's wrong. Tell me how to fix it."

"It hurts Swan."

"What?"

"Everything." He sat down on the sand, hard. "It hurts that I can't play anymore. Because I loved my guitar, nearly as much as my boat. It hurts that I can only hold you with one hand and maybe someday you'll decide that isn't enough. Which scares me as much as I'm probably scaring you now saying this stuff because I don't understand how I can feel so strongly so fast for you. And this," he shook his stump in front of his face. "Just bloody well hurts. It's like my hand's on fire but that isn't even possible because my hand's at the bottom of the ocean."

Emma took a deep breath before saying anything. Yes, he had scared her. But not as much as those words might have had they come from someone else. His fears mirrored hers, something she realized as she listened. Not directly, but they were close enough that she understood. She was scared that someday he'd decide she was too broken to love, too damaged by years of neglect. When you understood a fear it helped put it into perspective.

"Give me." Emma sat beside him and grabbed his stump, pulling the pressure bandage off. The quick intake of breath was the only noise from him. "It's called phantom pain. It's caused by nerve damage."

"Did you google that?" His whisper was broken but slightly awed.

"Actually, I did. Ruby mentioned it once and I wanted to learn more. Not really the best use of my work computer but at least I wasn't playing solitaire." Emma started to massage the stump, running her fingers over the scar, pressing as hard as she dared. That was one of the tricks she'd found online to help the pain- just in case.

Neither spoke as Emma continued her ministrations. Killian's free hand traced idle patterns into the sand as he watched her fingers move. After several minutes the tension in Killian's arm and shoulders disappeared and he relaxed into her. Emma smiled and brought the stump to her lips, kissing the scar lightly before returning his arm to his lap. He pulled on the pressure bandage again.

"Did I earn that?" Killian asked, moving his arm as if he couldn't believe Emma had taken away the pain and running his finger over where she had kissed him.

She shook her head. "Not yet. That was just a bonus. We're going to do something first." She stood and pulled him up with her.

"What would that be Swan?"

"We're going to have some fun."

When they reached the bonfire Emma grabbed the guitar from Robin and settled down beside Killian. He looked at her incredulously. "You play the guitar?"

Emma shook her head. "Not even close. But you do. And I've got a hand you can borrow." She positioned her hand near the head of the guitar and pressed the strings haphazardly. Killian was as silent as the rest of the group, who watched with wide eyes. Finally he laughed.

"This isn't going to work."

"Have a little faith Jones."

Ruby scoffed from her spot next to Victor. "Did you just say_ have a little faith?_ Who are you and what have you done with Emma Swan?"

"Shut up Ruby," Emma replied, looking over at Killian, waiting for him to make the next move.

He reached around her and pulled her onto his lap, positioning the guitar in front of them both. His long fingers corrected her own, pressing them into the strings first in one pattern then another. "Can you remember those Swan?" he whispered into her ear. "The first one's for the verse. Play the second one when it's chorus time." Emma nodded, frozen by his proximity. He was warm and solid under her, protecting her from the early fall wind as he captured her between his arms so he could strum with his good hand and support her with his injured one. "Ready?"

Emma nodded again and Killian began to sing. The lyrics for the Mumford and Sons song,_ Lover of the Light,_ swirled around them. His singing was the only sound that mattered to Emma in that moment. He fingerpicked the strings lightly, not exactly the right music for the song but Emma wouldn't complain. He was doing his best with what Emma could give him. More than once his voice caught her off-guard and she had to double her concentration to keep pressing the chords correctly. He bent closer, singing directly in her ear towards the end of the song.

_You may not trust the promises_

_Of change I'll show_

_But I'd be yours if you'd be mine._

When he finished there was a breathless moment before the group erupted into cheers. David rose to come congratulate Killian but he ignored his friend's words. Instead he softly placed the guitar on the ground and turned to Emma, arms tightening around her.

_"Thank you._"

Emma closed the gap between them and kissed him. His mouth opened under hers and then she was breathing his air, beer and the sweetness of mint toothpaste. She carded her fingers through his hair as he bit her bottom lip lightly. Emma nipped him back and he laughed, the sound rumbling through her chest.

"I thought I already told you guys to get a room," Robin yelled good-naturedly.

Killian pulled back, smiling, then kissed Emma once more, just a little peck. "And I thought I told you before that I could still beat you to a pulp?" Robin made a show of acting scared. Killian rolled his eyes before turning back to Emma. "Did I earn that one?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

Emma nodded. "Yeah, you did. See? It wasn't that hard."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "Nothing's hard with you Swan."


	17. Missing Parents

_A/N: Sorry for the late chapter. I was at a local festival all day- and will likely be there most of the weekend. I'll update when I can. And for those who might be wondering, the boat scene is the next chapter. I hope it lives up to expectations._

_Disclaimer: All characters and other aspects of Once Upon a Time belong to ABC and the show's creators._

_YOU STILL AT WORK?_ Killian's text lit up the screen and Emma couldn't hold back a grin as she walked through the hospital lobby. They'd been talking every day this week, trying to find a time where Emma had a baby sitter for Henry so they could do something. She actually missed his face even though it had only been five days.

_JUST LEAVING WHY?_

She pushed out of the rotating lobby door and started for her car, watching for her phone to light up again. She was about twenty feet away when she realized she was being watched. Emma looked up to see Killian leaning against her car, arms crossed over his chest, a bag at his feet.

"You forget where my office is?" Emma stopped in front of him, eyebrow quirked upwards.

"No. I wanted to surprise you, lass."

"How did you get here?" Emma asked, opening the back door and chucking in her purse.

"Jeff dropped me off on the way to work. I had an appointment. I told him I'd find you, but if you're busy I can call David."

"Because driving home in his cop car won't make the neighbours talk." She motioned for him to get in. She was glad he was there, his presence like a jolt of caffeine for her system. "What's in the bag?"

He unfolded his arms with a nervous smile. Emma looked him over and noticed he had two hands. Well, one real one and one fake one.

"Well look at that," Emma drawled reaching for it. Killian hesitantly gave it to her. It was moveable, a smooth plastic with joints where the knuckles should be. Emma moved the fingers, wiggling them up and down. "What does it feel like?"

"Different."

"Good different?"

"Maybe in a few weeks. They said it would take some time to get used to. It's uncomfortable now."

"Well don't wear it then," Emma said sliding in the driver's seat. She'd gotten used to his stump. It was a part of him. Hiding it when it hurt him didn't make any sense to her. "You look fine without it."

"Maybe to you," Killian replied quietly, playing with the spot where it connected to his arm.

Emma backed out of the parking spot and started up the road. Killian kept playing with the hand as they drove. Emma turned on the radio to lessen the silent tension.

"Swan?"

"Yeah Jones?"

"You do know my house is the other way?"

Emma turned to him and scrunched up her noise, as if puzzled. "Oh really? I never would have guessed." Killian made a face back at her. "I know Jones. I have to pick Henry up first."

"And I get to come?"

"You are sitting in the car aren't you? Would you like me to slow down so you can tuck and roll out?"

"Forget social work Swan," he laughed as Emma pulled into the driveway of Henry's babysitter's house. "Stand-up comedy's your true calling."

Emma got out of the car, leaning against the open door. "You know what? I was just about to say the same thing." Killian didn't follow Emma into the daycare, for which she was glad. It gave her a chance to figure out what to say to Henry.

Henry had never once seen Emma with a man on any other basis than strictly acquaintances. Emma wasn't even sure if he'd understand what a boyfriend was. Because that's what Killian was. She'd decided that after the bonfire. He'd told her how much he cared for her and Emma couldn't argue, as much as that terrified her. She felt the same way. Before Emma had even realized she'd let herself like the idea of not being alone she found herself not only with a man who cared deeply for her but also a new band of friends- ones who'd included her on their big group chat. That had been a momentous occasion for Emma, the outsider.

Henry ran to her as she opened the daycare door. Emma scooped him up, balancing his wriggling form on her hip. She said her goodbyes to Ms. Morel before slinging Henry's backpack over her shoulder and leaving the house.

"Now Henry," Emma started, licking her bottom lip while she waited for his attention to be directed at her. "In the car is Mommy's special friend Killian."

"Do you like him?" Henry asked, all four year old innocence. Had he understood the term_ special friend?_

Emma smiled, kissing his forehead. "Yeah baby. I really like him. So I want you to be nice to him okay?" she asked, pushing past her embarrassment. The kid was four- she had no reason to be embarrassed about admitting her feelings in front of him. Who was he going to tell?

She opened the backdoor of the car, buckling Henry into his car seat. Killian turned around and smiled at Henry. "How are you lad?"

"Good." It was when Emma was getting back into her seat that she heard Henry's voice again. "Do you like my Mommy? She says she really likes you."

Emma groaned, blushing hot._ Of course._ She and Henry were going to have to have a talk about his filter. Or find him one. Killian laughed, looking back at Emma. He gave her a wink. "I think your mother knows I like her very much." She blushed even hotter.

Henry thankfully didn't ask any more embarrassing questions on the drive home. The next awkward moment came after Emma invited Killian to dinner. Henry seemed just as taken with him as she was which made her bold and ache to include him in their little world. Emma should have seen the question coming. Henry had been too quiet after his initial question. When they all sat down to eat, Henry turned to Killian, twisting in his booster seat to see him better.

"Killy do you know where your parents are?"

Emma froze. Killian's face fell for a moment. The dimming of his eyes was enough to snap Emma out of her shock. "Henry, why would you ask a question like that?"

"Because we read a story about grandparents today. And Mommy can't find hers. So I want to know if Killy's are lost too?" Killian glanced at Emma, giving her a small reassuring smile. He was okay, just a little caught off guard.

"No lad. I know where mine are. They just aren't here. They left when I was just a boy."

Henry nodded, satisfied with the answer. _Thank you_ Emma mouthed to him. He gave her a small salute back.

Emma watched Killian interact with Henry, laughing and joking. There was still so much of him that was a mystery to her. How young had Killian been when he'd lost his parents? Had he been old enough to remember them, to realize what had happened? Had they gone at the same time or separately? Emma had so many questions but was scared to ask. She had no memories of her own parents. She didn't know if they were alive or dead, drifters or career people, loving or neglectful. While to not know those things were hard on Emma, leaving her essentially mothering blind, to her it seemed worse to truly know what one had lost. At least she could pretend, create her own image of her parents. Killian knew the truth of his. He couldn't make them better or worse. He was stuck with the memories, good or bad.

After supper was finished Killian called Robin to pick him up on the way home from work. He leaned casually against the door while he waited. Emma settled on a nearby chair, turning to face him.

"I wish they'd just give me my car keys back," Killian groaned. "I hate having to be chauffeured around." His friends had taken his keys when they found out about the accident, promising not to return them until Killian learned to operate better with one hand. While it annoyed Killian to no end Emma had to agree with the group. It hadn't been that long since the accident. A week or so more wouldn't hurt. She liked knowing Killian was safe.

"Do I have to bring out the world's smallest violin again?"

He made a goofy face at her then turned thoughtful. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip, watching Emma. She squirmed in her seat and rubbed her chin just in case there was pasta sauce splattered there. Finally she grew too uncomfortable to wait.

"What Jones? Do I have something in my teeth?"

"No. You're beautiful lass. I was just wondering Swan- have you ever thought to look for your parents?"

"Why would I want to do that?" Emma replied quickly, stiffening at the thought.

"Wouldn't it be good to learn? As closure?" He didn't seem like he was implying anything other than a real interest. His face was honest and caring. It made Emma feel instantly safe.

"I never thought it would help," Emma replied. Sure she'd wanted to know where exactly she had been found as an infant, how much of a miracle it had been that she'd been rescued in time, if her birthparents had dropped her on some side street or a busy freeway. That was all Emma wanted to know. She didn't need to know the truth. Not when she'd made a life for herself without them. "It's a little daunting to do by yourself. Kind of like a reminder that you're all alone."

Killian crossed the floor to her, taking both her hands in his own, one hand warm and calloused, the other smooth and cool. "But you aren't alone Swan. I'm here."

Emma watched as he brought her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently. "I know that now."

Robin's car horn honked. Killian glanced towards the door before turning back to Emma. "How about we make a deal Swan? You call and get your case file and we'll open it together? That way you won't be alone when you find out."

"And you'd really do that?" Emma asked wondrously. No one had ever offered to help her find out about her past before. And really, if anyone else had asked she probably would have punched them. Maybe that's why no one had tried before Killian.

Killian kissed her lips lightly. "Absolutely," he whispered against them. "I'd stay up all night reading the file with you if it made you feel comfortable." The horn honked again. "So will you call for your file?"

Emma nodded, not trusting herself to speak and Killian left after another quick kiss. After Neal Emma had never thought she'd connect with anyone again, let alone have said person care enough about her to want to dig up her less than stellar past. But she'd found that person. Maybe shutting the door on her past by finding out what she needed to know was going to allow her to finally fully accept what was right in front of her- that Killian was there to stay.


	18. The Jolly Roger

A/N: Sorry for not updating earlier. I had heat stroke so was out of commission for most of the weekend. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. I didn't expect it to turn out this way, or for the boat scene to end up being two chapters but I'm pleased. So enjoy! And let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: All Once Upon a Time characters and aspects belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Emma bent and wiped whip cream off Henry's nose. He scrunched it at her touch and Emma laughed, kissing his cheek. There were days that she hadn't thought anyone could ever love her. And then she had Henry. He loved her in ways she had never been loved before. He'd saved Emma's life, in more ways than one.

She took the to-go cup from his tiny hand and watched as her son ran at Ruby, demanding to be picked up. Ruby complied, soft as she was, and bounced around with Henry on her back. His squeals of delight fended off the cool breeze better than any hot chocolate for Emma.

Ruby and Emma had taken Henry out to a little coffee shop after supper to celebrate the award he got at his daycare for being the best behaved student that month. Emma wasn't sure how she'd gotten so lucky or what she'd done to end up with such a child but whatever it was she'd do it a million times more.

Henry spurred Ruby on as they dashed past Emma, Ruby making horse hoof noises as she went. Emma laughed, calling for them to be careful.

"Always am," Ruby called back, pausing next to a community notice board as they waited for Emma to catch up. Emma watched Ruby reach out and rip a sign off the corkboard, scanning it intently. "Hey Em, come here for a sec?"

Her tone made Emma run, skidding to a stop next to them. Ruby handed over the sign for Emma to examine. It was an advertisement for a special harbour tour, the last of the season. It was going to take people out under the stars where an info session on said celestial objects would occur. The writing was imposed over a boat- The Jolly Roger. Killian's name and contact info were on the last line. The date for the celebratory tour was today. Mary Margaret's words ran through her head. _ Anniversaries._

"Have you been talking to Killian today?" Ruby's voice was as concerned as Emma felt. She'd told Ruby Mary Margaret's advice when she got home to see what she'd thought about it, whether she should be concerned.

Emma shook her head. She hadn't been talking to Killian for the last few days. She'd just assumed he was busy since they'd spoken or seen each other daily since the dinner at her apartment three weeks ago. A sinking feeling began to make itself known. Something told Emma Killian hadn't been busy. She grabbed her phone from her pocket and dialed.

The call went straight to voicemail after a message about the phone being turned off._ Crap._ She tried again, just in case, but she knew she'd get no different result. Emma shoved her phone back in her pocket and turned to Ruby. "Mind if we make a pit stop?"

Ruby shook her head, readjusting Henry on her back. She had just as much reason to be worried as Emma. As his nurse Ruby had seen firsthand what Killian would do if he was upset. Together they hurried down the sidewalk. Ruby must have broken records with how fast she got Henry in his car seat.

The bottom door was unlocked when they reached Killian's apartment. Emma left Ruby to get Henry out of the car as she ran for his apartment, taking the steps two at a time. When she reached his door she knocked hard. No answer. She knocked again, this time calling out for him. Emma tried to door, the time for manners past. It swung open.

Emma didn't know if he'd left it open because he had hoped someone would realize the significance of the day and come find him or if he just didn't care. But she was relieved, whatever the reason. Ruby started up the stairs with Henry as Emma barrelled into the apartment. Killian wasn't in his living room but the door to his bedroom was closed.

She hurried over to the door before easing it open. Killian sat on the ground, his two fake hands and a quart of vodka splayed out around him. Using her foot, Emma shut the door, never taking her eyes of him. Emma crouched in front of him and he looked up, eyes rimmed red from exhaustion, his scruff not tended to for several days making it bushy and haggard. She reached forward and tipped up the alcohol. It was still sealed. Good.

She shifted to a sitting position and waited. Ruby and Henry provided background noise as they shuffled around the living room, Henry asking a million and one questions. Eventually Killian let out a shuddering sigh.

"Talk to me Jones. I know about today."

"The accident took away my life."

She grasped his shoulders tightly, pressing her fingers into his skin. "No. It took away your hand Killian. There's a difference." Emma couldn't help but feel a bit hurt that she wasn't seen as something good coming from his accident. She pushed the selfish thoughts away- this was Killian's sadness talking, not his real feelings.

"The sea is my life. I don't know how I can live without it."

Emma knew what to do. She'd been saving her secret for the right time, for when it would be needed most. She stood, pulling a reluctant Killian up with her. "Come on Jones. It's time I show you something."

"I don't want to go anywhere Swan. Can't you let me wallow in peace?"

Emma pushed him towards the door. "Absolutely not. Move it." She let him slip into his boots before tugging him out the door. Ruby watched them go, sending a pointed glance towards the marina. Emma nodded before pulling the apartment door shut behind them.

He froze when they started across the road towards the marina. "Swan- stop. I'm not going down there. Do you think this is funny?"

Emma whirled on him. "Do you think I'd do this for fun? Do you think I like hurting you? Because I don't. And that isn't what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to give you back your life." She used all her weight to drag him into the marina and down to the docks.

"I don't want to see the blood Emma. It hurts too much." His voice was scalding. Emma had never heard him so angry, not even that day she called Jefferson at the hospital. She took a deep breath, blocking his path away from his boat. She'd worked too hard to let him throw this all away. She only had to drag him a few more feet before they reached their destination.

"Then it's good that you won't have to." She stopped him in front of The Jolly Roger. Killian looked it over and staggered back. Emma caught him, her hands around his waist. He was shaking, just enough that Emma tightened her grip around him.

"How?" Killian's voice was barely a whisper, thick and heavy and catching in his throat.

"Ruby and I had some free time." Emma tried to sound nonchalant. He pulled free and walked over to the name painted on the bow. "I hope you don't mind but we fixed that up to," she said nervously.

Killian ran a finger over the lettering. "It was Liam who first painted this." Emma's heart sunk. David had told her about Liam, how he'd taken care of Killian after their parent's death, how he'd immigrated with him. The Jolly Roger had been Liam's before Killian owned it. And it had also been the place Liam had died.

"I'm sorry Killian. I didn't know."

He shook his head, still looking at the lettering. "No Emma. I've wanted to paint it for years. But I couldn't." He broke his gaze on the hull of his ship and climbed aboard. "It's all gone. Everything's clean. Why Emma?"

"Because you deserved it." She took his outstretched hand and climbed aboard. "I wanted to give you it back. You told me how much the boat meant to you. Having a home is something I lived without for too many years. I couldn't sit back and do nothing knowing I could help you return home."

Killian stared at her while absently running his hand up and down the washboard. After swallowing heavily he took a step towards Emma. "Emma, I don't want to scare you. And you don't have to say anything back. But I need you to hear this. I think I love you."

Emma froze. The last man who had said that to her left her. And given her a criminal record. She didn't trust those words unless they came from Henry. Killian looked at her steadily, not pushing her, not trying to touch her. He hadn't said it out of pure thankfulness. He'd sounded honest, and genuine, and gentle.

Killian had said Emma didn't need to say anything back. And maybe she didn't. But she wanted to. She deserved it. She deserved to let herself feel loved after a lifetime of loneliness and bad romantic choices. She wasn't ready to say what he had said, but she could contribute something.

"I think I really like you Killian. And I'm trying not to let that scare me."

He smiled like Emma had told him she loved him more than life itself. His blue eyes danced as he moved forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Thank you for making today better. Liam started the tradition. The year before he died. I can't believe I can't carry the tradition on."

"What makes you think you can't carry the tradition on?" Emma replied, trying to keep her voice steady and light. Her brain was still whirling from his earlier words, still trying to process how it was possible for him to truly love such a lost girl.

"I told everyone who called to book a seat that it was cancelled." Killian's voice was disappointed, his eyes glancing longingly into the cabin.

"Well, Jones. I think you better get your keys because I know some people who care a lot about you who would give anything to go out on a starlit cruise." Emma pulled out her cellphone and called Ruby first, asking her to bring down a coat and the moveable hand for Killian before calling the Merry Men.

Everyone agreed to meet at The Jolly Roger in ten minutes. Emma spent those ten minutes wrapped up in Killian's strong arms, watching the sunset. Secure against Killian, surrounded by the amber glow of the end of day, Emma didn't feel so lost anymore.


	19. Star Sessions

A/N: Here's another chapter to make up for not posting this weekend. I hope you enjoy it, it may be my favourite one yet!

Disclaimer: All Once Upon A Time aspects belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Ruby and Henry were the first to arrive, Henry running down the dock as Ruby attempted to control him. Killian jumped over onto the dock without a second thought and caught Henry as he broke free from his watcher's hand. Killian grabbed him with his good hand and lifted him over the washboard to Emma.

"Mommy, Ruby says we're going on a boat ride."

"Ruby's right. Killian's going to take us all out." She put a squirming Henry down. He immediately ran across the deck and Emma chased him, panicked he'd go overboard. The boy didn't try to jump over though. Instead he waited for Killian to board again before demanding to be taken up to the cabin to steer.

Killian laughed. "First you need to be dressed like a captain's assistant so your Mommy doesn't worry," he said good-naturedly, starting for his cabin. He and Henry disappeared below deck as Ruby boarded, putting the bag with Killian's coat and prosthetic on the floor.

The longing gaze Henry sent at Killian caused Emma's heart to constrict. It was like he was looking at his father. It was that look that made her relationship with Killian seem incredibly real and important. He could do things for Henry that she couldn't. He could teach him about his boat, let him drive it, just let him be a little boy. No matter how hard Emma tried to be both parents, she'd always just be his mother. And here was Killian, offering more without even meaning to. Emma sunk back against the washboard, listening to Killian's lilting speech as he directed Henry through the cabin below deck.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Ruby murmured, coming over to Emma. "What's up?"

"Killian told me he loved me."

_"What?"_ Ruby nearly shrieked. Emma lunged at her, pulling her to her side, afraid Killian had heard her confession. "What did you say?" Ruby asked, lowering her voice. She grasped Emma's hand and searched her face intently; looking for signs Emma was going to run, or spontaneously combust.

"I told him I think I really like him," Emma muttered, looking at the floor, embarrassed. Ruby grasped her, pulling her to her chest in a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered in her ear.

Emma pulled away. "I didn't do anything. I didn't say it back. And he looked at me like I'd hung the moon for him anyways."

"Because you did. Emma I-don't-need-a-man-ever Swan let someone in. He didn't expect you to love him but the fact that you admitted caring for him instead of just showing that you do is a big thing. And Killian knows it. Cleaning his boat was one thing. Telling him why was completely different."

"I don't think so."

Ruby smiled and patted her head like a puppy. "And that's why everyone loves you."

Henry returned then wearing a tiny green PDF and a baseball hat with The Jolly Roger stitched to the front. It fell down in front of his eyes and Emma reached out, pushing it back in place. Killian followed him and reached into the bag Ruby brought to grab his prosthetic hand, slipping it on. He sent a smirk at Emma, eyes dancing, as he watched Henry displaying the new additions to his outfit.

Emma returned the smile, almost shyly, before turning back to her son. "You look very handsome Henry."

"It's Captain, Mommy," Henry replied confidently. Emma raised her brow.

"I wonder where you learned that?"

"I guarantee that's the mildest thing he's going to learn from Jones," David called, climbing aboard. Mary Margaret followed him, arms laden with a picnic basket and several blankets. She handed them to Killian and kissed his cheek.

"I'm so glad you are doing this, Killian."

He shrugged, blushing. "It was Emma's idea."

She turned and smiled at Emma. "I guessed as much."

"Yeah, you're too much of a stubborn pirate to be reasonable." Jefferson was laughing as he climbed aboard. Robin followed on his heels.

_"Captain."_ Henry and Killian intoned at the same time. The boat dissolved into laughter and Mary Margaret took that as her chance, slipping over to Emma.

"Thank you for doing all this. David filled me in on the way over. I knew you'd do wonders for him back before that first date. Looks like I was right."

"I just convinced him to get on the boat."

"Thank you anyways, for whatever you did." Mary Margaret left to go fuss over Henry in the cabin.

"I'm glad I invited you to join the Merry Men," Robin called, sitting onto the deck in front of her.

"Because you're their leader?" Emma replied, eyebrow raised.

"My name_ is_ Robin." The smug smile he sent at Emma made her laugh. "I think I should get a badge made."

"Yeah, it can say Ego of the Year," Jefferson yelled over the roar of the engine as Killian started The Jolly Roger. David untied the boat and they slowly made their way out of the marina into the night.

The night was black around them, the stars beginning to twinkle above the boat. A soft wind blew across the ocean, just rippling it enough so the moonlight caught the movement, turning the water to glistening onyx instead of shiny oil.

Once in the open harbour Killian lifted Henry up to sit on a chair he'd pulled over and let Henry steer, using his own hand to hold the wheel steady. Henry chattered on, Killian's lilt filling the spaces where Henry stopped talking as he issued soft instructions, pointing at the horizon.

"They're cute together aren't they?" Mary Margaret murmured, settling next to Emma.

"Henry certainly seems happy," Emma replied calmly. She hadn't felt this serine in years. Which considering what Killian had told her earlier was kind of a miracle.

"So does Killian." Emma had to agree. He hadn't stopped smiling since Henry had taken the wheel and more than once he'd shifted his grip on the steering wheel to his fake one so he could adjust Henry's hat with his real hand.

"Has Henry ever gotten to know his father?" Robin asked, watching the scene intently. Emma stiffened and Mary Margaret quickly admonished his rudeness. Ruby put her hand on Emma's wrist, whether in comfort or an effort to hold her in the boat, Emma didn't know.

Emma took a deep breath. Neal was behind her. Her old boyfriend didn't care for her. That had become painfully obvious as her days in Phoenix ticked by. Emma wasn't the same person she'd been then either. She had a legitimate job, a loving son and a caring boyfriend. Neal shouldn't have the kind of control he did over her fear reaction, not anymore. As far as she was concerned, Neal could kiss her ass.

"It's okay. No. He doesn't even know Henry's alive." Ruby gaped at Emma's honesty, a reaction which she pointedly ignored.

"So he ran out on you?" David sounded angry, like he'd go turn Neal to dust if Emma asked. She couldn't help but smile a bit at that. And secretly strengthen the image she carried that he was her older brother

"He sent me to jail for his crime if that's what you want to call running out." Emma's tone was bitter but she didn't feel as hurt as she normally did when she remembered Neal. Not when everyone was looking at her with such concerned and caring expressions.

"Just tell us where he lives, Swan," Robin said, punching his hand into his palm. Jefferson nodded vehemently beside him, lip curling slightly.

Emma reached over and patted Robin's head in what she hoped was a thankful gesture. "Would if I could."

The boat slowed, the roar quieting as the engine downshifted before it shut off altogether. Killian carried Henry out of the cabin and set him on the deck before returning to the wheelhouse. Mary Margaret and Ruby spread blankets out on the deck as he returned with star charts and diagrams.

Emma followed the rest of the group's lead as they lay on their backs on the deck, facing the sky. Floating out in the ocean, her eyes focused on the twinkling lights Emma barely noticed Killian take a seat beside her, unfocused on his presence until he carded his fingers through her wind knotted hair. Henry moved from his position next to Emma to Killian, where he promptly sat on his chest.

Emma tried to pull him off but Killian laughed. "Let the boy be, Swan. He knows I'm the best pillow we've got." He tightened his arms around Henry, waiting until he stopped wiggling to start explaining the stars above them. Henry settled his head into the crook of Killian's neck with a sigh. Emma focused back on the stars to keep from feeling overwhelmed by the sight.

Killian pointed to the westward part of the sky. "That's Mercury, a planet." Henry begged for clarification so Killian spent several minutes pointing it out specifically to the boy before continuing. "Mercury was the winged messenger for the gods. He was also the god of thievery, commerce and travel."

Next he pointed to a bright star near the center of the sky. "That's Vega, the brightest star of the Vega constellation." Killian pointed out several stars around it. "Many cultures think it's a bird."

"Like one that flies?" Henry asked, his awed ton making the others laugh.

"The very same, lad. And that my friends, is the North Star, Polaris." He pointed north. "It was used by sailors to navigate for many years."

"Like you?" Again, Henry was asking questions.

Killian chuckled. "If I had to."

"And that's why we bought him a GPS," Robin snorted.

For the next forty-five minutes Killian continued to point out stars and constellations and teach the group their stories. Emma felt just as awed as Henry at Killian's knowledge and passion for the stars as well as his patience for answering the three million and one questions her son hurled his way.

She smiled up at the sky, safe and content. As she stared at the stars she realized that this was the first time she'd ever been on a boat. Emma's foster families had never had the time, or cared enough for her to allow her to experience such pleasure. Listening to the men's quiet jokes, her son's happiness and the sound of the light waves lapping the hull of the boat she decided there was no other group of people she'd rather spend her first time with.

When Killian finished his star session he sat up, Henry still on his knee. Mary Margaret opened the picnic basket she'd brought. "It would be better had I had some more time," she said bashfully as she took out several large thermoses of hot chocolate, mugs and two containers of homemade cookies, one oatmeal chocolate chip, the other a double chocolate. Emma wasn't sure how she could have made a better picnic basket, or how she'd put what she did together in minutes. The containers were passed around as were the now filled mugs.

As the food was handed out Killian shifted so he sat against Emma, Henry balancing between the two of them while Emma helped him drink his cocoa without spilling it all down his front. The spot where Killian's thigh touched hers was obscenely hot for such a cool night. Emma tried to ignore it.

"How'd you like that?" Killian murmured into her ear.

She turned to him. "You're a very good teacher, Jones."

"Only because my star student was here," he replied with a wink.

"That's me right?" Henry asked seriously, turning to face Killian with big eyes.

Killian tweaked the beak of his cap. "Of course that's you," he laughed before kissing Emma's ear. She tried not to let her shudder show but since he'd told her he loved her and then been so amazing with Henry it was like she was back to square one with not being able to control her body around him.

Killian bent closer to her ear again. "I saw that." The heat of the whisper collected in her stomach and she found herself desperately wishing they were alone.

But they weren't. So she leaned towards him so their mouths were nearly touching. "You wish, Jones." It was barely a breath but it was enough to steal Killian's air. Emma allowed herself a satisfied smirk._ Mission accomplished._

On the trip home Henry once again requested to steer and Killian seemed unable to turn him down. This time though Emma joined her two men, leaning against Killian as Henry pretended to be the captain. Within minutes the boy fell asleep; having been up well past his four year old bedtime and Emma was left with Killian's arm around her waist, watching her little boy sleep. The warmth and safety of his arm holding her and the lullaby sounds of her friends in the background soon pulled Emma into a sleep as well, leaning heavily against Killian. She didn't wake until they were back to the marina and Killian was softly kissing her awake, murmuring_ I love you_ so quietly and rhythmically that Emma wasn't sure if the noise was his voice or the sound of her beating heart.


	20. The Call

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and the show's creators

Emma picked up the phone and set it down four times before she dialed her boss. Her heart pounded out of her chest at the thought of what she was about to do. Sure she'd thought about doing this all her life but actually doing it was different. Doing it meant she was going to get answers, possibly ones that would have terrible consequences.

On the fifth call she stayed on the line, waiting.

"Hello? Ariel Mariner speaking."

"Hi Ariel, its Emma." She tried to sound firm and confident.

"Emma, how are you?" Ariel sounded much more pleased at the conversation than Emma was. Emma wished Killian were with her. Or even Ruby. But she hadn't told anyone she was calling in case she chickened out. The plan was to tell them that night, when they all went to Killian's to watch movies.

"I'm good, thanks. I'm just calling because I need a favour." Emma didn't ask for favours often so Ariel's interest was instantly peaked.

"What can I do for you?"

Emma took a deep breath and wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. The visceral reaction she was experiencing surprised Emma, not in its occurrence but in its strength. "I was wondering if you could send me my file?" The words tumbled out in a jumbled mess but Ariel caught them.

After a pause she spoke, "As in your personal file?"

"Yes."

"After all these years?"

"Yes." Emma stuck to one word answers. They were easier.

"Are you sure?"

No. Not even close. "Yes."

_"Emma,"_ Ariel cried exasperated. "Say something other than yes!"

"Alright?"

Ariel's laugh floated through the phone. It relaxed her, not because it was Ariel's laugh but because the laughter reminded her of her friends on The Jolly Roger last week. Of all the moments in Emma's life she treasured that night was firmly in the top five.

"I'll mail it first thing Monday morning. Don't look at it until you're ready. Alright, Emma?"

"Alright." The call ended and Emma sunk against the desk, her head hitting the wood.

Well that was certainly a momentous call. She wouldn't have been able to do it without Killian's promise and now, sitting there she found herself wanting Killian to know, more than ever. She didn't want to wait until the movie night when everyone was there. This was her life, the reason she'd ended up the way she was, lost and uncared for, until Killian.

She picked up her phone again and dialed the familiar number.

"Hello lass," his lilt greeted her. It sounded as if he was walking down a hallway, his boots clicking against hard tile.

"Where are you?" Her voice was thin and strained.

"Just getting out of physio. Why? What's wrong Swan?" Killian's pace quickened before Emma could answer.

"I made a call."

_"The call?"_

"Yeah."

Killian cursed softly at her tone. It was mere moments before there was a loud clatter outside her door and Killian burst through out of breath.

"Where exactly did you come from?" Emma gaped as soon as she'd gotten over her shock.

Killian quirked his brow, trying to inject a little levity into the situation. "Did you never get the sex talk Swan?"

"I got it too often," she answered. "Troubled teen remember?"

Emma put her head down on the desk again. She'd gotten that talk too many times. Countless social workers and health nurses had sat her down, under the perception that she was some wild promiscuous teen simply because she was a lost girl the system could never figure out. And where had those talks gotten her? She had a four year old with a criminal who didn't even know she'd had a baby. Yeah, she didn't need to be reminded of those talks.

And it all went back to the file she'd just ordered.

Killian bent down beside her, placing his hand on her knee. "I was downstairs at physio for my hand when you called. You scared me, so I ran." A smirk played at his lips as he calmed. "So you actually did it?"

Emma knew what he meant by it without him explaining. "I told you I would."

"I wanted you to do it for you, love. Not me."

"I did do it for me," Emma said, raising her head and looking at Killian's ocean blue eyes. She missed those eyes when she didn't get to see them every day. She felt their absence like a missing part of herself. "I need the closure so I can move on."

"Understandable. And I'll still read it with you if you want," Killian said softly, kissing her forehead. Emma turned and captured his lips. He stood and pulled her over to him, wrapping his arms around her. His hand traced patterns up her back.

"Thank you," Emma murmured as she reluctantly pulled away. If someone were to walk in on them she wouldn't be seen as very professional. She sat again and Killian, understanding why she'd moved, sat in one of the chairs against the wall, stretching his legs languidly out in front of him.

"You're staying?"

"Don't have anything better to do." The twinkling in his eyes told her he had no plans to leave her alone.

"Be quiet then, I've got some stuff to finish."

Emma tried to ignore Killian, who very animatedly was playing on his phone, as she continued what she'd been doing before she'd called Ariel. She picked up the phone and called Belle to check up on Marie. After calling for her own file Emma needed to know how Marie was doing. She needed to make sure that so far, she'd given that little lost girl her happy ending.

"They got her a dog," Belle told her proudly after Emma asked how the girl was doing.

"Good." The word came out like a sigh. Emma had always wanted a pet growing up. But if the families barely had enough food to feed her on a semi-regular basis then they certainly couldn't care for an animal as well. She hadn't gotten one as an adult either because she'd never learned to care for one. Emma focused on making sure Henry got all her attention and love. She was scared to share that love with something else and risk Henry. But maybe if things kept going the way they were with Killian? She pushed the thought away._ Focus on the now Emma. Don't get ahead of yourself._

When she hung up Killian had crossed the office again and sat on her desk.

"Do you not remember that I'm at work?"

"I'm being quiet. You didn't say I couldn't sit here."

"You're more of a child than Henry." Killian laughed but didn't move. Emma rolled her eyes and kept working for another twenty minutes before relenting to his pouty sighs and packing up.

Killian took Emma's hand and led her out of the hospital. "We get Henry and then we go to my place for the movies."

"Henry's coming?"

"Aye," he said with a smile, opening her car door for her.

"Isn't this an adult movie night?" Henry was four. Watching horror movies with him was not going to end well.

"Doesn't mean we can't watch Disney before. The lad can sleep in my bed while we watch the rest of the movies."

"Are you asking me to spend the night?" Emma asked as she backed out of her parking spot.

Killian laughed as she jerked the brake too hard, jostling them. Emma blushed hot, trying to hide her reaction to his words. "Not in that way Swan. Your son is present." She slapped him for his scandalized tone. He waggled his eyebrows back.

"I know Jones. Don't be such a child."

"But you love it." There was that word again. She still hadn't said I love you to him, even though she'd had several chances. Emma just wanted to be sure.

"Maybe."

"But yes Swan, I am asking you and Henry to sleep over if you please. Then we can take him for pancakes tomorrow morning since its Saturday and the diner has that as their special then. I'm not asking for anything else- I'll even sleep on the couch. I just thought it would be nice." His confident tone had turned bashful by the end of his words.

"You'll have to ask Henry." Killian smiled because he knew what that meant. Henry would say yes immediately. He hadn't stopped asking Emma to see Killian since the night on the boat and had even spoken to him on the phone twice after demanding the phone from Emma, mid conversation.

They pulled into the daycare and this time, they_ both_ got out. Instead of running at Emma, Henry happily hurried to Killian, who scooped the child up, tossing him in the air a few feet before catching him again and putting him on his shoulders. Emma rolled her eyes at their antics and paused when Henry bent from his perch to kiss her cheek.

"Hey, Captain," Killian called, tilting his head upwards towards the boy as they walked back to the car. "Do you want to have a sleep over at my house with your Mommy?"

"Yes," Henry screamed. Emma cringed at the high pitched noise but Killian laughed, swinging him down into his car seat.

"Well, I guess that's decided," Killian said smugly as he got back into the passenger seat.

"Lucky he likes you so much," Emma replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Lucky I like his Mommy so much."

"Just like?" Emma replied, trying not to sound hurt. The absence of the word love, even though she hadn't said it back, stung a bit. Emma didn't want to feel like that but after so many years without hearing those words from a man, well, a reminder was nice.

"Lucky I love his Mommy so much," he amended smirking.

Emma turned onto the harbour road with a smile. "Good."


	21. Lost Girl Found

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and the show's creators.

Enjoy and thank you for the lovely reviews!

Henry sat himself contentedly on Killian's worn sofa, his feet swinging through the air. Emma had to ask him to sit there to stop him from getting into everything. Killian's apartment wasn't exactly childproofed and it had a lot of new things in it for Henry to explore.

"There's dinosaur chicken nuggets in the freezer," Killian called, following Emma into the kitchen.

"Didn't know you were a fan of those," Emma smirked, pulling out the half eaten box.

"I recognize gourmet food when I see it Swan."

"Remind me never to let you cook for me then," she replied, kissing his lips lightly when he pouted. "Such a child. Go entertain Henry." Emma gave him a nudge towards the living room and began getting supper ready. She washed and cut carrot sticks and threw the nuggets in the oven.

From the direction of the couch she heard the sound of music. Curious, she finished up and went to find the boys, half dreading what Henry had gotten himself into now. She froze at the scene she found. Killian had opened the once hidden case of his guitar and was gently strumming each string individually while naming the notes he played. Henry was drinking it all in, completely in awe. Emma turned back to the kitchen before she could get too overwhelmed.

Emma braced her hands against the counter, bending slightly at the waist to catch her breath. She didn't know what to do other than run but her legs were too weak to do that. Killian, the man who had broken down the last time a guitar was even produced, was now playing it slowly for her son. He was_ teaching_ him. And Henry loved every minute of it.

What was Emma supposed to do if she screwed this relationship up now? What if Neal showed up and broke her again or Killian decided a single mom with a record was too much to deal with? Henry would be devastated. Her son would lose the only father figure he'd ever had. Emma wasn't good at relationships and now she was playing for two hearts, not just her own.

"Swan, don't you hear the timer?" Killian called, running into the kitchen. Emma turned her head to look at him and he rushed over, placing a hand on her back, timer forgotten. "What's wrong Swan?"

"Nothing," she replied quickly, moving to the oven. Emma opened the door and smoke wafted out. The fire alarm above them went off, signaling for chaos to ensue. Henry started wailing, scared of the sudden noise. Killian ran to the smoke detector with a dishcloth, swiping it through the air to blow the smoke away. Emma lunged for Henry, hushing him and holding him close. After several long moments the apartment was silent again.

Emma hiked Henry up onto her hip and joined Killian in the kitchen again to examine the mess she'd made of supper. She groaned and Killian laughed. "Well, I guess I'll go get pizza," he said good-naturedly, tossing the charcoaled food into the compost. If it could even be called food anymore.

"Can I come, Killy?" Henry asked, motioning to the door.

Killian smiled, flashed a covert look at Emma, concern still lingering in his blue eyes, before taking Henry and putting him on his back. "I don't see why not. We can even go see my boat."

Henry's delighted squeal, fear completely forgotten in Killian's arms, was the last sound Emma heard before she sunk to the floor of the apartment, head in her hands. She ruined everything she touched. Nothing good would last. If she lost Killian, Henry was going to hate her. The little boy had quickly added Killian to their little family. And she would eventually destroy what he'd created for himself.

The tears came hot and fast as she sat in the apartment alone. Somewhere in the back of her mind Emma knew this reaction went back to ordering her file, back to actually asking to know about the people who abandoned her. It had reminded Emma how bad she was at loving because she'd never been loved enough to learn. She felt less lost when Killian was with her but now that he was gone, taking her son on an adventure, Emma was back to the lost girl she'd been sitting in the back of the van as she moved foster homes for the third time that month, the one she'd been sitting in the jail cell, pregnancy test in her hand.

The door to the apartment opened and Emma tried to brush the tears away but she couldn't stop them so she tried to hide, pressing herself against the kitchen cupboards, hoping Killian was just back to grab something he forgot and would be gone before he noticed anything amiss. But it wasn't Killian who came around the corner of the kitchen and sunk down in front of her. It was Mary Margaret, David hot on her heels.

Emma tried to turn away, embarrassed, as Mary Margaret enveloped her in a hug but David was having none of that. He grabbed her chin and tilted her face so he could look at her.

"What happened Emma?" he demanded while Mary Margaret continued to hold her. David rubbed his thumb across her cheek, picking up tears, just like Emma had seen a set of twins do at one of her many high schools after one was nastily dumped.

"I don't deserve this." Her voice was thick. Mary Margaret pulled back.

"What don't you deserve, Emma? What did Killian do to you?"

Emma shook her head, David's hand falling away at her movement. "Nothing. I'm not talking about Jones."

"Then what, Emma?"

"I'm only going to ruin things again. Killian doesn't deserve that. Henry doesn't deserve that."

"You aren't ruining anything, Emma," David told her gently.

The door to the apartment opened and Robin and Jefferson's voices filled the space, as loud and boisterous as usual. Mary Margaret shot a look at David. "Distract them," she hissed. She pulled Emma bodily up and towed her into Killian's room, shutting the door behind them.

Emma sat on the bed, barely registering its unkempt state. Mary Margaret sat next to her, taking her in her arms again.

"Why don't you tell me what is going on? Why do you think you're going to ruin this?"

"I don't know how to love," Emma replied softly, too embarrassed to look at the woman who had love down to an art form. She wouldn't understand. No one could understand. That was why everyone left her.

"I think you have a little boy who would beg to differ," she said gently. "And Killian."

"They don't know."

"Don't know what?"

Emma sighed. She needed to tell someone and Ruby wasn't around. Mary Margaret could be trusted though. She was too lovely not to be. "I grew up in the system."

"We all know that Emma." Mary Margaret corrected. "That doesn't matter to any of us."

"I was abandoned several hours after I was born. I went through foster homes that starved me- padlocked the fridge shut. I went through homes where the other children beat me. Homes that ignored me. I never learned anything about love. And then I fell for Neal- Henry's father- and thought I'd finally found someone who could love me. And he let me go to jail for his crime and with his baby when I was just eighteen." Emma barked the last bit out. Mary Margaret folded her into her arms again.

"You had a rough life Emma. And I'm so, so sorry for that. But that doesn't mean you're going to ruin your relationship with Killian."

"Henry loves Jones."

Mary Margaret nodded. "I know. And Killian loves you both. I've never seen him so happy." She paused, pursing her lips as though she was deciding whether to reveal a secret. "Killian lost his family at a young age and he had a bad relationship as well. She was married and wouldn't leave her husband for him, even though he loved her. She saw him as a toy, not a long term thing. Killian was just young, it was right after his brother died. We thought we were going to lose him after she left. So trust me, Emma," Mary Margaret pulled back to look Emma in the eye, "if someone's going to understand what you've went through and how scared you are its Killian."

"Aye, lass." Killian's quiet lilt greeted them from the door. Mary Margaret got up and he took her place, using his hand to wipe Emma's tears away. A soft kiss was placed on her forehead as Mary Margaret left them.

"How much did you hear?" Emma asked, looking around the room. Various nautical memorabilia filled the shelves along the walls and she busied herself studying the items.

"Enough." She glanced back at him at his tone. "Emma, everything Mary Margaret said to you about me was the truth." Killian pulled his sleeve up and revealed at heart tattoo with a dagger through it, the name Milah written below it. "I know what it's like to be left. To be deemed not good enough. And Swan? You're more than good enough for me."

Killian peppered her face with feather light kisses until Emma was laughing. Killian wasn't going to leave her. She'd panicked in a moment of weakness, a moment of fear. But she was good enough for him._ More than good enough._

Killian stood and pulled her up. "Ready to go back out there? Though I make no promises that they haven't eaten all our pizza."

"As long as Henry gets a slice I'm okay."

"I'll break Jeff's hand to make sure that happens if I have to, love."

Emma laughed again and Killian pulled her out of his room, back into their friends. While no one said anything about what had gone on behind the closed door she was passed through the group, each person hugging her tightly. Emma stumbled through the activity, stunned, until she found herself on the couch next to Henry, a slice of cold pepperoni pizza in her hand.

Killian joined them, positioning himself behind Emma so she could lean on him while Henry leaned on her. Robin started the movie- Peter Pan at Henry's request- and Emma, safe and warm in Killian's arms, fell asleep before Wendy ever made it to Neverland. It wasn't as if she wanted to see anymore lost children that day. Not when she'd been so firmly reminded that she had been found.


	22. Pancakes with Captain Hook

Despite the salt streaked state of the windows of Killian's apartment, the place was filled with light from the morning sun. Emma woke, blearily wiping her face across the pillow before realizing she wasn't in her bed with her plain white coverlet. She was covered in an old blue patchwork quilt, worn and soft from years of washing. It took her a moment to realize she was in Killian's bedroom, and to remember the night before. Though she still didn't remember how she'd gotten into his bed.

Emma turned her head to see Henry asleep beside her, curled around one of the pillows as if it were his teddy bear. Killian must have carried them both to bed after the movies ended. She smiled and slid out of bed carefully so as not to rouse him.

Emma padded softly into the living room then over to where Killian slept, body strewn over the couch. There was no pain in his face, no lost look. He reminded Emma of Henry when he slept- just like the big child he often acted as. His prosthetic was off, lying on the floor, half underneath the piece of furniture. Emma squatted next to him and gave his shoulder a shake.

Killian opened one eye, groaned, the rolled over, mumbling something that sounded like 'too early'. Emma laughed and gave him another shake.

"Is there a reason you don't understand that it's Saturday?" Killian didn't turn around when he spoke, his voice muffled by the sofa cushions.

"I know what day it is, Jones."

"Then come here and go back to sleep. It's illegal to be up this early." His arm reached out without him looking and grasped her waist, tugging her forward. Emma fell on top of him in her surprise and he held her tightly to him, finally rolling around so he could face her.

Killian's hair was mussed from sleep and his eyes were still drowsy as he nuzzled his nose into her shoulder, kissing it lightly. Emma settled against his warm chest and drifted off, the sound of his slow breathing a lullaby in her ear.

The next thing Emma was conscious of was that she was being shaken awake by a very little hand. Emma bolted upright, mother instinct kicking in when she felt Henry's hand against her shoulder, fear that something was wrong with him coursing through her. Killian jolted upright with her, arms still around her waist. Emma focused on Henry, standing in front of her with rather large puppy dog eyes.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

Killian laughed, relieved, his movement jostling Emma against him. He let her go and stood, picking up Henry with his good hand and using his stump to stabilize the child's position against his hip.

"Well then I guess it's time to go get pancakes, lad. Tell your lazy Mommy to get up."

"Me?" Emma cried, feigning an indignant tone, pushing up from her seat. "You're the one who pulled me onto the couch with you."

Killian pressed Henry's head against his shoulder with a scandalized gasp. "Not in front of little ears, Swan." He gave her a wink and Emma rolled her eyes in return before heading off to the bathroom to clean herself up.

When Emma returned to the living room Killian had changed and already had Henry's coat and shoes on him. Emma bent and corrected the buttons Killian had missed from doing it one handed, lifting the collar up to protect his neck when she'd finished. She stood just as Killian was trying to put on his prosthetic.

A pained look twisted his features. Emma hurried over, taking it from him. He jerked away, letting the stump fall to his side.

"Phantom pain?" she asked quietly.

He grimaced. "The prosthetic makes it worse. I can't get it on."

"Then we're leaving it." Emma set it firmly down on the couch. Killian watched her as he fought back the fear in his eyes.

"I'm not going out without it."

"Why?" Emma asked, feigning ignorance. She knew the answer but she wanted him to admit it. The last trip to the diner was still clear in her mind.

"It's disgusting," was his hushed response. "I don't want you two to have to be around when people stare."

Emma turned to Henry, not even deigning to give Killian a look in response. "Hey kid- do you mind if Jones goes without his hand to breakfast?"

"I don't care," Henry replied casually, bouncing over to them. "Now you're like Captain Hook. He's cool." Henry paused for a moment, regarding the stump carefully. "Can you get a hook for it?" The laugh Killian gave then was lighter than Emma could have hoped for. Leave it to Henry to come up with such an unarguable, innocent reason for Killian to leave his prosthetic off. "I'm hungry. Can we go now?"

"The lad has spoken," Killian said as he gestured grandly towards the door. A quick glance at the prosthetic was all he gave it before Henry took his hand and bodily towed him towards the apartment door. Killian made a show of Henry being strong enough to move him while Emma laughed behind them, grabbing her bag before she followed them out the door and up the street.

Killian paused in front of the door to the diner, eyes searching the tiny window inset into it intently. Emma nearly ran into him when he stopped so suddenly in front of her. She let her hands slip around his waist and stood on her tip toes to reach his ear.

"If she's here she won't say anything. Not with Henry around. I won't let her."

He tilted his head towards her, smirk in place._ "My saviour."_

Emma supressed the shiver his words sent down her back. "I won't be if you don't feed me soon," Emma replied, giving him a slight shove towards the door.

"Well don't let me stand in your way." Killian held the door open for her and Henry. Emma urged Henry forward with a hand on his shoulder to the same booth she and Killian had shared the last time.

"Do you want pancakes?" Emma asked Henry once he'd settled beside her. Henry nodded. "Okay, pancakes for the both of us then," she told the waitress who came over to take their order. She was a different one than last time and showed no animosity towards Killian. To her, they were just another set of customers.

"Make that three orders," Killian piped in, motioning to the group of them at the table. Emma had to smile at the way they all sat around the booth, clearly together, clearly pleased to be with each other.

"Please!" Henry added when he realized Killian had forgotten, making Emma's pride flare. Somewhere along the way she'd done something right raising him.

The waitress laughed and sent a warm smile towards Killian, who'd reached across the table to ruffle Henry's hair. "You have a lovely son."

Emma glanced at Killian who froze; hand on Henry's head, when the waitress spoke to him. A small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth and Emma could have sworn there was a flash of pride in his eyes. She glanced back at the waitress who didn't seem to notice anything amiss.

"Thank you, lass."

The waitress turned and left, satisfied, to call out their orders. Killian didn't look up at Emma immediately, instead studying Henry as he drew on the children's placemat the waitress had set in front of him along with a dish of crayons.

"I hope you didn't mind I said that?" Killian asked after a long moment, voice hushed.

Emma shook her head. "No. It's fine." Her voice was equally quiet. Killian glanced up at her and sent her a brilliant smile which Emma couldn't help but return, despite her spinning mind. Wasn't this what she wanted? For Henry to have a father? Wasn't that what she was so fearful of losing yesterday? And here was Killian, freely taking on the role in front of strangers. Maybe Henry hadn't been the only gift in Emma's lonely life.

The pancakes arrived and Emma busied herself cutting Henry's into manageable bites before addressing her own plate. Killian used his fork to cut his, leaving his stump below the table and out of view. Every once and a while he would cringe as a bolt of pain went through the injured tissue.

Eventually Emma had had enough of watching his pain and slipped from her spot next to Henry to sit next to Killian. She reached across his lap and grabbed the stump, massaging it carefully like she had at the beach.

"Swan!"

Emma glanced up from his arm to meet his shocked eyes. She smiled at him and raised a brow. It's not like anyone was paying attention to the little group sitting against the wall.

"While my hands are busy you make sure Henry doesn't choke." Killian nodded, still in a state of shock, but turned to face Henry, watching as the little boy shoved syrup drenched pancakes into his mouth, smearing the sticky food across his cheeks. Emma turned back to her ministrations.

When Emma finished and Killian had finally relaxed beside her she moved back to Henry's side and finished her meal. She'd been right. Not one of the diner's customers or workers had noticed what she was doing. Sitting together, all eating breakfast as the little boy they were with chattered happily about Captain Hook, they looked just like the family Emma had spent her whole life looking for.


	23. The File

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time are the property of ABC and the show's creators.

The file landed on Emma's desk, heavy and ominous, Wednesday afternoon. It was sealed in a thick manila envelope, confidential written across it, something which the mail guy cast a curious glance at. She didn't even need to open it to know what was in the envelope. Taped to the front was a post-it note, Ariel's lovely handwriting scrawled across it._ There was a man calling and asking for you several times. I gave him your number. You may hear from him. Says he's looking into foster care._

Emma shrugged at the note, discarding it. She got notes like that all the time about people wanting to work with Emma when getting involved with the system. Of course they weren't usually so persistent, getting the information and moving on or getting a hold of her directly through the hospital, but hey, to each their own.

Emma tentatively reached out and touched the file as if she were touching a sleeping beast. The envelope didn't give way, so stuffed with files on her that the paper seams were stretched to practically ripping. Emma cringed. The weight of her file said a lot about her.

She checked her watch. Two o'clock. Her foot tapped lightly on the ground as she weighed her options. She could stay at work for another two hours and get nothing done with the behemoth envelope sitting in front of her or she could read it, which meant leaving because she knew she couldn't do it alone. Emma pushed back from the desk, grabbing the file and hurried out of her office. It wasn't like she was going to get work done with either option and Ariel wouldn't care anyways.

Her drive to Killian's apartment was a rough one. She hit the shoulder of the road twice, her hands shaking so bad it made keeping the wheel steady nearly impossible. The closer she got to the apartment the worse it got. Emma parked in front of the music store, grabbed the file and climbed the stairs as quickly as she could.

She pounded on the apartment door with her free hand. No answer. She tried the door. Locked. Emma spun on her heel and hurried down the stairs again. Killian still didn't have his car so it's not like he could have gotten far when all his regular drivers were at work.

"Jones," she shouted as she started down the ramp to the dock, seeing if the man was there.

A mussed head popped up from below the deck of The Jolly Roger, the smile on his face immediately falling. "What's wrong, Swan? I thought you were at work." Killian jumped up and over the side of the boat, closing the distance to her in a few long strides. He put his arms around her, rubbing her shoulders when he realized she was shaking.

"It came."

"The file?"

Emma nodded against his chest and Killian cursed softly. A quick kiss was pressed into Emma's hair before he pulled back.

"Do you want to read it now?"

Emma nodded again and handed the envelope to Killian. She couldn't hold onto it any longer. It was burning her with its contents. Killian grabbed the offending item, shifting it to his fake hand, then took Emma's with his real one, winding his fingers through hers. He led her back up the ramp and to his apartment without a word.

Once in his apartment he set Emma on the couch and the file on the coffee table, tucked a blanket around her shaking shoulders and disappeared into the kitchen to make hot chocolate. He returned several minutes later with two large, steaming mugs.

Emma took one, wrapping her fingers around the hot ceramic and they both stared at the envelope, silence thick in the air.

"Do you want me to open it?" Killian asked after several minutes.

Emma took a deep breath. No. It was her file. It was her life. She had asked for it. She knew most of what was in it anyways. It was just the first entry. The one that started it all. She reached forwards, the blanket slipping from her shoulders, and grabbed the envelope, sliding her finger under the flap and slitting it open. The files fell onto the table, a landslide of failed foster placements and case worker reports.

Killian stayed silent, looking at the pile. His tongue darted out, wetting his bottom lip. Emma knew he was counting the different case files that sat there, counting the number of houses she was placed in. Finally he turned back to Emma.

"Which one is it?"

Emma reached forward and grabbed the top file, dated twenty two years previously. It would have been filled out shortly after she was found.

"Ready?"

Emma nodded. She wasn't but she'd do it anyways. Rip the Band-Aid of quick. Killian reached over and flipped the cover of the file open to reveal the papers and forms inside. He picked up the first page and held it for Emma to see while he scanned it.

There, near the bottom, were the notes._ Found on Highway #2, Maine, next to the three mile marker, wrapped in a blanket labeled EMMA, name kept. Doctor confirmed age at less than a day- baby still had not been cleaned or tended to after birth. Mild medical intervention needed for signs of hypothermia and respiratory distress. No sign of birth parents or contact information. Police suspect parents had a warrant out for their arrest so dropped baby on shoulder to keep from getting caught after having her in a non-medically sanctioned environment. Investigation closed two weeks later- birth parents suspected to have travelled out of state. No word from them. Baby put in local orphanage, state ID number 0233615._

Emma let the paper drop from her hands. Well, she thought she dropped it. But she also had no control over her muscles so the movement could have been involuntary. Her brain was too addled to figure out what had actually gone on.

She'd been left, just as she'd always known. Her parents hadn't even cared enough to clean her up and make sure her airway wasn't blocked before dropping her on the gravel shoulder of the highway. She'd seen what the doctors had done when Henry was born. She knew what was supposed to happen with a baby after it was born. And she'd had nothing. She wondered if her parents had even looked at her before they put her down and drove away, regretted it even the tiniest bit as baby Emma was left in an area where wild animals were known to frequent, especially at night, or if they just wanted her gone. Wasn't their daughter worth more than a few years in jail? Emma certainly felt so- it's how she found the strength to keep Henry.

And to make matters worse- the highway was only thirty minutes away. It was a barely travelled road cut through the forest. Only one or two houses were on the twenty mile stretch before the highway converged with the newer, busier interstate. Emma had spent her whole life being tossed around, wondering where she came from and her first home was the gravel a half hour away? What kind of sick joke was that? She'd spent the last few years home without ever realizing it.

Her features twisted painfully and Killian enveloped her in his arms. She couldn't even cry. She was empty, numb, a void with skin. That paragraph was her worst nightmare- the acknowledgement that she hadn't even been cared for as an infant. They didn't even have the decency to drop her in front of a hospital. A rural highway was all Baby Emma was worth- a lost girl on an old forgotten road.

Killian held her for what had to be at least a half hour, never letting go, never stopping the circles he made on her shoulder blade and spine with his thumb. Emma sunk against him in disbelief. Disbelief that he was still there, still wanting to be near such a broken person, kept her motionless for fear of ruining what they had. Eventually, he pulled back and kissed her lips softly.

"Nothing changed between us Emma."

"How can you say that?" she replied, burying her nose back in his cotton shirt. Killian kissed the top of her head. How could he say that when he knew the truth?

"Because I still love you, Swan. And I'll love you for the rest of my days. I want to make sure you know that how you start life isn't how you have to end it."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Jones."

"Emma," he said seriously, slight admonishing tone at her resistance. "I'll never leave you. No matter where you go- if you want me to be there I will be."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll make Dave hide in your bushes and spy on you so I'll know you're still okay." Emma laughed at that and kissed Killian deeply, pushing him back against the sofa and straddling his lap. "Emma, you don't have to do this," he said huskily, pulling back a little.

"I do Killian. I-" she stopped for a moment, planting a hot, open mouthed kiss on his jaw while she centered her thoughts._ Now or never Swan._ Killian watched Emma's chest expand and fall as she took the deepest breath she had in years. "I love you."

A grin spread across Killian's face, again the look that Emma had hung the moon for him changing his features from lost boy to regal captain, free and happy on the sea. "I love you too, Swan."

"You already said that." Emma's laugh was breathless as he worked his way down her neck with his mouth, nipping slightly at the juncture between neck and shoulder.

Killian pulled back, smirk in place. "I know Swan. Just wanted to make sure you wouldn't forget."

Using his arms Killian flipped Emma off his lap and onto her back on the couch then quickly discarded his shirt and prosthetic hand since it gave him no feedback, no feeling, no sensation. And Killian wanted to_ feel._ Emma knew because she wanted to too._ Desperately._

While Emma knew she'd never forget the feeling of Killian staying, of loving Emma because she was Swan, his Swan, no matter how she came to be that person, she also knew she wasn't soon likely to forget activity that followed either.


	24. Memories and Orange Juice

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time are the property of ABC and the show's creators.

The next sleepover Emma had was at her house, Killian in her bed, though with Henry down the hall it was just as innocent as the first. Emma was tucked next to him the following morning, her plain coverlet pulled over both their heads making a tent for them. Emma's fingers trailed softly against his stump, which she'd convinced him to let sit on her stomach instead of being awkwardly splayed underneath him.

"Swan, love," Killian murmured turning over to face her. "You've been quiet for too long. What's going on in that head of yours?"

Emma licked her lips. She'd had been quiet, lost in thought. Killian had taken the file extremely well. It hadn't changed the way he looked at her or what he said to her. But he still hadn't said much about his own past since opening the file last week. Emma had been deciding whether to ask him about his past, whether he was capable of telling her.

"You can tell me you know."

Emma sighed and pushed out of their tent momentarily, grabbing her case file from the box next to her bed. She didn't want Henry to find it and he knew not to root through Mommy's Special Box so she'd placed it there. The box was where she kept the blanket she'd been wrapped in by her birthparents, the few pictures she had from growing up and the little swan necklace Neal had given her. She'd taken it off for the first time since she got it after the night with the file. Killian didn't know she'd done it or if he did he didn't say anything and Emma wasn't keen to mention it either. That was her past. There was no point in wearing it anymore now that she finally trusted a man again. She returned to their sheet cave and set the file between them.

"Is it about the file?" Killian asked confused.

Emma shook her head. "Not directly." She paused for a moment before jumping in. "It's just that my whole life is here for you to read."

"I'm not going to read it without your permission."

"But I don't mind if you do. I can't talk about it. Not all of it. But I_ want_ you to know. You_ should_ know." Killian searched her face, eyes narrowing before he realized what she was getting at.

"And you know nothing about me." His voice was pained, the creases around his eyes showing the strain of the memories.

"Well you don't have to tell me. It isn't my place to push," Emma replied quickly, regretting their conversation already. She'd stepped over the line.

Killian raked a hand over his face and let out a quivering breath. "You deserve to know, Swan." He reached out, grabbed her waist and pulled her against his chest, sliding her easily over the file that separated them. "Where shall I start, love?"

"You're letting me pick?" Emma asked, surprise colouring her voice. She was going to be happy with whatever he told her.

Killian shrugged against her. "Why not?"

"The beginning then," Emma replied, snuggling closer to his chest when he tightened his grip around her.

"I left England when I was ten. My parents died in a car crash. I had been at a friend's house when it happened. I stayed with them until after the funeral when Liam came and got me. He was here, in the States, getting his captain's papers. He was older- old enough to obtain guardianship over me." Killian's voice caught every time he said his brother's name but Emma stayed silent. "Those were the best years- like living with your favourite superhero. He took me everywhere with him. He bought The Jolly Roger when I was fifteen and started doing harbour tours. I worked with him every day after school and permanently after I graduated."

Killian pressed his face against Emma's shoulder for a moment and Emma knew what was coming next. She moved to quiet him, stop him before he revealed Liam's death but he held her too tightly, like she was the only thing holding him together. "I worked for that summer and then later that year, we were both helping to haul the boat for the winter. There was an…an accident. He was crushed by the ship. I pulled him out. It damaged his heart too much to even get him to the hospital. Liam died in my arms minutes later." Emma felt moisture on her shoulder. She wriggled out of his grasp and grabbed his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the tips of her fingers.

"Its okay, Jones. You're going to be okay." She placed a kiss on the end of his nose

"I miss him so much, Swan. Liam- he was all I had for so many years. And now I'll I've got are memories. I can still see his face as he told me to always be a gentleman right before he died."

"So that's where you got that from?" Emma asked, trying to lighten the situation.

He nodded, smiling slightly. "Liam was a true gentleman. You would have liked him."

"I'm sure I would have. He'd be so proud of you Killian. You're the best man I've ever known."

Killian grabbed her again, hugging her fiercely. Their sheet tent had collapsed down on them, covering them and holding them together. "I never thought I'd be whole again after Milah- and now, even one hand down, I feel like the old me again. Finally. I love you, Swan."

"Love you too, Jones. Thank you for sharing."

"Thank you for listening." Killian adjusted the tension in the sheets, returning them to their former fort glory so they could properly see each other again.

Emma made a face at him, scrunching up her nose. "Enough sap for now."

Killian laughed, the life back in his blue eyes. He kissed her nose before reaching out to tickle her side. "Don't ruin the moment."

"It will really ruin the moment if you don't stop tickling me and I punch you." She didn't say it seriously though, she was laughing too hard to be threatening. She gave him a shove and he rolled over to her, pinning her down. Within minutes they were breathless with laughter, wrestling like children, as Emma tried to stave of his tickle attack.

"Mommy- I'm thirsty." Henry's voice echoed through the apartment. Their noise must have woken him. Emma sighed and moved to get up but Killian put his hand to her shoulder, stopping her.

"You've been doing this for four years. Take a break, Swan. I'll get him something." Killian pushed himself out of bed and let himself out of the room while Emma tried not to grin too much at his retreating back.

On her bedside table her phone began to ring. Emma reached over, expecting Ruby or one of the Merry Men, and held the phone to her ear.

"Emma Swan."

No one replied. There was just a long pause. She held the phone away from her ear, frowning, before she hung up.

"Who was it?" Killian asked, returning with a glass of orange juice for the both of them.

Emma took the cup with a shrug. "No one was there and it wasn't a number I recognized. Must have been a telemarketer. I probably hung up before they could tell me I won a free cruise."

"Well it's a good job you have someone who can take you on free harbour cruises then." Killian took a sip of his juice, eyebrow raised.

"_I guess_ that's comparable to a trip to the Bahamas for a cruise," Emma said, in a mock begrudging tone. For her Killian's harbour cruises were better but she wasn't about to pad his ego that much.

"Try not to sound too enthused, love. You might hurt the captain's feelings."

"I think he'll get over it if he wants breakfast."

Killian nodded then laughed. "Already over it." He pulled her out of bed and they made their way to the kitchen, Killian stopping in the hall to pick up Henry. He ran down the hall holding Henry in front of him and making airplane noises, much to the four-year-old's delight.

"You two are such children," she laughed, following them. Killian gave Henry a little toss, catching him and spinning.

"It's a good job you love us then."

"Aye, lad," she replied, mocking his accent rather terribly. "Who would get me orange juice in bed if I didn't?" Killian laughed at the silliness of her comment, brushing it off immediately. Emma didn't bother to tell him that that had been the first time anyone had done such a thing for her.


	25. Group Hug

Welcome to the calm before the storm...

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and the show's creators.

Robin raced around the apartment with Henry. The man made a big show of running from Henry before falling to the floor, apparently exhausted and more than a little dramatic. Honestly, he was as bad as Killian when it came to playing with her son. Not that she would complain. It was hilarious to watch her son playing alongside grown men as if they were peers at his daycare.

Few short months ago Emma had never thought Henry would have an adult man in his life in a mentor position and now he had all the Merry Men wrapped around his little finger. Killian looked at Henry like a son and Emma knew Henry felt just as strongly towards him. Robin and Jefferson were brothers, friends, wrestling partners. And David was the one who taught him practical things like why the leaves had changed colour, read with him and explained answers to Henry's questions with startling ease and accuracy. When the Merry Men had first met Henry on Killian's boat Emma had been worried that they'd not understand that wherever Emma went, Henry was most likely close by. She'd been nervous that a child would bother them, interfere with their plans. She couldn't have been more wrong. The group had accepted her child into their lives as easily and happily as they had Emma.

Killian flopped down on the couch beside her after letting Mary Margaret and David into the apartment. After their earlier talk and breakfast Killian had mentioned that he'd like to spend some time with everyone today. He'd been acting a little sullen off and on the whole day, like when a cold is starting and someone has random sneezing fits before any other symptoms showed up, so she'd happily fulfilled his request. Emma just chalked his mood up to him having to relive everything with his brother this morning. Killian responded to things strongly. He'd get over it after some laughs with the group.

"So which one is four again?" Killian asked, smirk firmly in place, as he watched Robin and Henry play with a toy truck. They were wreaking havoc by running it over everything in reach, Robin making loud explosion noises every time he dropped the truck onto something new.

"It's not my fault I'm more fun than you," Robin replied running the truck up Emma's shin, screeching noises coming from him as he did. She swatted the toy away with a laugh. Killian pouted.

"Hey, he's babysitting," Emma replied, lounging back into the sofa. "Robin can do what he wants as long as he doesn't burn down my apartment."

"Does that leave flooding as an option? Because Henry and I can go turn the tub into an ocean and be pirates." Henry squealed in delight at his words.

"Absolutely not." Mary Margaret and Emma spoke at the same time, perfectly in sync. Emma allowed herself a small grin at how well her relationship with David's fiancé had developed since that night Mary Margaret found Emma crying in Killian's kitchen.

The only thing the evening was missing was Ruby and Jefferson, but they were at work. Not everyone got the weekends off like Emma, or school teacher Mary Margaret. David being off duty at the sheriff's department had just been lucky. The same with Robin, nature boy extraordinaire. Emma had convinced Robin to spend his day off at Emma's house instead of wandering the woods by telling him he spent too much time with squirrels for it to be healthy. Robin had come into the apartment making squirrel noises, much to Emma's entertainment and Killian's confusion.

"So Emma, you ever think you'd find yourself with this rabble when you stumbled into Killian's room?"

Emma shook her head at Robin. "I didn't think a group such as yourselves could exist." She paused for a moment, smile slipping. "Or that you'd ever want me."

"We're in it for your kid, not you," Robin replied. Both Killian and David reached forward and slapped him across the top of the head. Robin scowled at them, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm kidding Emma."

She smiled at him. Maybe at one time that joke would have bothered her but now- now she could see it for what it was, a good natured jest. "I know."

"But seriously, Emma, we're so glad you found us." Mary Margaret's smile was genuine when she spoke. "You've changed all our lives." Emma looked down at her lap, willing away the tears. She would_ not_ cry at the compliment.

"I haven't done much," Emma murmured because she had nothing else to say. While she understood Robin's joke, Mary Margaret's words still seemed like a foreign concept to her.

"You showed us how tough someone could be. How strong. What you went through would have destroyed me." David's words were kind, his smile warming Emma.

"We needed another lady around anyways, Mary Margaret was too outnumbered. Couldn't have asked for better reinforcement." Robin was the next to compliment her.

"You saved Killian," Mary Margaret said next, eyes welling with tears as she looked between Emma and Killian and down to where his hand rested casually on her thigh. "Things could have been so much worse but you saved him."

Killian's mumble was so quiet and muffled that Emma was certain she wasn't supposed to hear it. "Who says I don't still need saving?" She glanced at him sharply but the desperation she'd heard in his words didn't show on his face. He smiled at Emma and kissed her softly; acting just like the charming and gentle Killian she knew and loved. Maybe she'd heard wrong? Maybe she'd inferred the wrong meaning behind his words?

"Thank you," Emma said quickly, turning away from Killian when she realized everyone was staring at her. "I'm not one for emotional words." Robin's sarcastic_ I never would have guessed_ made her grin before sobering again. "But thank you for letting me in. I never thought that I could belong to a group with my history. Thank you for proving me wrong."

Mary Margaret leaned over and hugged Emma tightly. Soon everyone was in on the action, squeezing the wind out of her, not that Emma minded. This was the best feeling of breathlessness she'd ever experienced. Killian kissed the top of her ear while she was still in the middle of the group hug, her face covered by limbs as they stretched around her.

At one time Emma may have fought her way out of the group, tooth and nail, scared of feeling so attached to a group of people who could easily be taken away from her. But now, now she relished in it because these adults, for all their strange compatibility, goofy behaviour and easy banter, were as true of friends as Ruby was. And true friends didn't go anywhere, especially not when the going got tough.

Killian was the last to leave that night after helping Emma put away the empty takeout containers that scattered the living room. The whole group had stayed for supper, Ruby and Jefferson arriving at the same time, so there were a lot of little boxes and tin trays to put away. Mary Margaret had been adamant that she would stay and help but Emma had coaxed her out the door with the promise of seeing her soon and letting her clean the next time.

Emma asked Killian to stay with her again that night but he'd decided he wanted to go home. He said he'd needed to go and shower, get clean clothes, but Emma knew it was because the sadness was back in his voice. She was reluctant to let him leave, worried about him being alone, but he was a grown man, completely capable of making his own decisions. She had to trust him. Even after several kisses she hadn't been able to convince him to stay.

"I've got errands to run tomorrow but I'll see you Monday or Tuesday, whenever you're free?"

Emma nodded. Killian kissed her forehead and left, the apartment door swinging shut behind him.


	26. Rum

_A/N:_ I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Even though it turned out the way I wanted it to, I'm quite nervous to hear what you all think about it. As a warning, this chapter does deal with alcohol poisoning in case anyone is sensitive to that as a trigger.

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time are the property of ABC and the show's creators.

"Emma Swan." She trapped the phone between her shoulder and ear as she spun a lazy circle in her wheelie desk chair.

"Have you seen Killian?" David's voice had Emma up and running from work at the first word. He was terrified and it shook Emma to her core. The tone didn't mean anything good.

"I haven't seen him since Saturday," Emma replied throwing herself into her car. She hadn't even talked to Killian since then. She'd texted and called but he hadn't replied. Emma had let him be, thinking he just wanted space. She regretted that decision now. "Why? What's going on?"

"Today's the anniversary of Liam's death." The desolation in David's tone had Emma speeding out of the parking lot, forcing down a panic that threatened to drown her.

"Have you tried his apartment?" It was a fight to keep her voice steady.

"That's why I'm calling. He usually takes this day badly but we can still find him there every year. Killian's predictable when it comes to these things. Jefferson just went there to get him and bring him to my place. His phone was on the counter but Jones was gone." There's a bang as David gets in his car. "There was a message on the phone. From Milah."

Emma cursed, the word tearing from her lips._ No._ Why would she come back now? The last thing Killian needed today was his old love coming back into his life. Especially one that had ended so badly. "What did it say?" Emma was afraid to know the answer.

"_I didn't forget about today. How are you coping without any family or me? I heard about the new girlfriend. Enjoy her while that lasts because Killy? Remember, runners always run and she's one of the fastest."_

"Bitch," Emma hissed. How did Milah even know her? A quick Google search would have probably brought up some information on her but why would his ex even feel the need?

"If she can't have him I guess she didn't want anyone to. There were other messages from her dated Saturday too. She just said hi and asked if they could talk, that she missed him. She kept texting until he answered. Killian told her he wasn't interested. So she pulled out the big guns."_ And there's the reason._

Why hadn't Killian told her? She could have helped him through both Milah's return and Liam's death. That's what she was there for. But her anger at Killian was outweighed by the fear he'd done something stupid. The fear she was going to lose him.

"What do you want me to do?" Emma asked, fingers bouncing on the steering wheel as she waited at a stop sign.

"Check the graveyard. I'm on my way to Milah's old house. Jeff's at the boatyard where Jones keeps The Jolly Roger through the winter. Robin's waiting at the boat in case he shows. Call me when you get there."

Emma pulled a U-turn in the middle of the street and speed towards the town's only graveyard. She didn't even bother hanging up her phone, just tossed it onto the passenger seat.

Every fibre of Emma's being hoped the sinking feeling in her stomach was wrong. She knew deep down that Killian had done something he'd regret later, whatever that might be. The image of him sitting on the floor of his apartment the day of the boat tour flashed before her eyes. As David had said, he was predictable concerning these matters. She pulled into the parking lot of the graveyard, scanning the gravel area.

Killian's car wasn't there but he could have walked. Or caught a cab._ Or he might not even be here._ Emma pushed the voice away and raced up the path. Her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She needed Killian to be okay._ Desperately._

In the middle of the graveyard Emma noticed a figure, face down on the ground, completely motionless. Lying beside the man was a large bottle of rum, completely emptied. Her heart leaped into her mouth as she sprinted between the headstones towards the man. Emma knew, before she ever saw what the man was wearing or his face, that it was Killian.

She slid to her knees beside him and gently rolled him over. His face was pale, his lips a blue colour, eyes dazed. Emma knew right away that it was alcohol poisoning. She'd seen it before at one of the houses she'd been placed at. It's why she had been moved again. Killian must have consumed the entire bottle of rum while he was at the graveyard. Emma eased him into a sitting position, supporting his back. He was completely oblivious to her.

"Jones? Killian. Killian, can you hear me? It's Emma."

His head shifted slightly in her direction but that was all the response she got. He was far gone- too far gone for Emma. She needed to get him to the hospital immediately. Emma reached for her phone to call the ambulance, cursing when she realized it was still in her car. She couldn't leave him alone to go get it. She'd have to take him herself. Emma hauled him up, practically dragging him towards the parking lot. Killian said nothing as she pulled him, only groaning when he stumbled.

The gravity of the situation made Emma forget her fear. She focused with an extreme determination on getting Killian into her car and then putting it into drive, moving as smoothly and as swiftly as she could. Emma knew she should call David but Killian was her priority. She'd call at the hospital.

Several long minutes up the road Killian jerked forwards and vomited onto the floor of her car. Emma cringed, pulling over when he didn't move from his head forward position. She reached over to him and sat him back up, using his jacket to wipe his mouth. Killian glanced towards her then, almost focused. The look gave Emma the courage to continue the drive without breaking down.

"Stay with me, Jones." She yelled that like a mantra the rest of the way to the hospital. Emma was terrified he'd pass out and stop breathing. His breaths were already so slow because of all the alcohol. Emma was scared that if they got any slower he'd faint from oxygen deprivation. She didn't get a response from him the entire way.

Emma parked in front of the hospital doors, hauled Killian bodily out of his seat and into the hospital lobby. Her arms screamed at the weight, her chest breaking in two as Killian incoherently mumbled in her hands but she kept going. Because she would save him.

"Help! Please! Somebody_ help?_" Emma's voice sounded like tears now but she held them back.

Nurses ran over with a gurney and pulled Killian from her hands. They shouted things at each other as they wheeled him away from her. Emma ran after them. She wouldn't leave him now. A nurse grabbed her arm and tried to hold her back, telling her they could handle it, not to worry but Emma screamed, loud, angry curses, pulling at the grip on her arm. Everyone was staring but Emma couldn't find it in herself to care. She just wanted that nurse, with her fake assurances and soothing tone, away from her.

"Emma, Emma, hey. Calm down. " Ruby grasped her waist, pulling her closer as the other nurse let go and scurried after Killian. "What happened?"

"Today's the anniversary of Liam's death. And Milah texted him. Killian went to the graveyard and drank an entire quart of rum. Please don't make me stay out here Ruby." Emma was crying in earnest now, held by Ruby's familiar arms. "I can't lose him. Not another person."

Ruby gave her a small, reassuring smile, dried her tears and took her hand. She led Emma through the hallway to a small room where Killian lay on the bed, eyes half hooded and staring at the ceiling. Nurses and a doctor hurried around the room, preparing equipment.

Killian turned when Emma sat next to him, Ruby letting go of her hand in order to speak to the nurses. He looked a little more focused now, tired, but more aware of her presence.

"Swan?"

"I'm here." Emma reached forwards and grabbed the hand he weakly extended towards her. It was cold but it was Killian's. For now she would be okay with that. Emma noticed his prosthetic hand was missing. Did he lose it at the graveyard?

"I messed up."

Emma's anger flared at that. Because he did mess up._ Big time._ If Emma hadn't found him when she did he would probably be dead by the time the graveyard groundskeeper made his rounds. Killian had promised her he'd never leave her and yet there he was, drinking himself to oblivion instead of talking to her, telling her what he was feeling.

"We'll talk about that later, Jones." Killian nodded slightly. Emma wasn't sure if he caught her anger, her utter disbelief that she had almost lost one of the most important people in her life earlier. Emma didn't get a chance to find out because Ruby bent down beside her.

"They're going to pump him stomach. I convinced them to let you stay if you want. I'll go call David." Ruby placed a quick kiss to the top of Emma's head before hurrying away. Emma watched her leave, wishing she could stay with her, keep her safe from the lost girl threatening to take over her again.

Nurses pressed towards the other side of the bed, one holding a long section of tubing. The doctor came forward and checked Killian's vitals.

"We have to role you onto your left side now, Mr. Jones, so we can pump your stomach," the doctor said as the nurses shifted him. Killian grasped Emma's hand tighter, groaning as the movement made him dizzy. Emma moved from the chair and out of the way, pressing up against the wall.

"This tube is going to go down your nose and into your stomach alright?" Killian flinched backwards, gripping Emma's hand even tighter. "When I tell you to you'll need to lower your chin to your chest and swallow." The doctor demonstrated.

Emma was really glad that Killian was still very drunk when the nurse with the tube moved forward and started feeding it through his nose. Tears streamed down from his eyes and he held Emma's hand so tightly she thought he'd break her bones. Killian looked just as scared as Emma felt.

"Okay, Mr. Jones, please lower your chin now." Killian shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"Hurt," he croaked out.

Emma bent next to his head and used her hand to push his chin towards his breastbone. "It's okay, Jones. Do as he says." Emma wanted to tell him that she was there, that she wouldn't let him get hurt but he'd hurt her so badly that it was all Emma could do to just reassure him as much as she did.

Killian kept his head where Emma had guided it as the tube went further in. "Please swallow now, Mr. Jones." Killian tried to swallow, his throat moving and gagged. Emma made a shushing noise.

"Come on, Jones. It will be better once they get it in place." Killian searched her face and Emma tried to be brave, tried not to let the fear get too overwhelming. Killian was scared enough without her adding to his fear. Killian pursed his lips and started to swallow. The nurse praised his effort and after what seemed like an age, though was only maybe a minute, the nurse stopped moving the tube and stepped back.

Killian's grip on Emma's hand lessened in relief but tightened again when the doctor pushed air through the tubing to check its position. Satisfied that it was properly in place, another nurse secured the tubing in position against his nose with tape.

The tubing was hooked up to a portable machine and a clear liquid, saline the doctor replied when Emma asked, was pushed into the tube from a syringe. The suction was turned on and Killian cringed as the procedure started._ Serves him right for drinking the whole bottle_ Emma thought sourly. But she held his hand anyways, watching his eyes instead of the ongoing procedure as they waited for the stomach contents to run clear.

The door opened and David entered with Ruby, still wearing his sheriff's uniform from work. Robin and Jefferson waited in the hall at what must have been Ruby's request because they didn't look happy about it. David hurried to Emma's side, face strained.

"I'll deal with your mess later." David placed a hand on Killian's shoulder as he spoke to him. " But for now, get better, Jones."

David turned and wrapped Emma in a hug. In David's brotherly arms Emma began to shake. She couldn't stop herself. Everything she'd been holding back since hearing that Killian was missing surfaced. It was just like she was back in jail- left by someone who didn't care about her. She was lost again.

David must have felt her shaking because he pried her fingers from Killian's and guided her out the door. Robin and Jefferson hurried over to them, hands reaching forwards to comfort a clearly shaken Emma.

"Emma, what happened?" Jefferson asked as he moved. Emma flinched away from his reach, further into David's embrace. David tightened his arms around her protectively.

"Jones drank a pint of rum in the graveyard. I found him on his face." Emma turned away, pursing her lips. "Alcohol poisoning."

"Will he be alright?" Jefferson asked as Robin cursed.

"He'll be fine once they get his stomach pumped." David's voice was strong, saving Emma from having to find her own.

"Can we go see him?" Robin paced towards the door, glancing over his shoulder at the others as he reached for the handle.

David looked down at Emma. "Do you want to go back in?"

Emma couldn't speak. She just pulled away from David and started up the hall. Emma wanted to leave. She didn't want to be at the hospital anymore. She wanted to feel safe again. She wanted to feel like she had a home again, a place where she belonged. Behind her David quickly told Robin and Jefferson to take their places in the room before rushing after her.

"Emma, wait," he called, catching up to her. David placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and guided her to one of the benches placed sporadically up the sterile hall. Emma sat, her head falling into her hands, shoulders sagging. "What's wrong Emma? Besides the obvious?" he added wryly.

Emma leaned into the hand David used to rub her shoulder. Finally, after several minutes she spoke. "Jones almost left me. After he promised he'd never leave me. Do you know how many times I was promised I'd stay with a family for a period longer than a month, how many times I was told I'd graduate from the same high school with the same people I started the year with? I don't because I lost count. For_ once_ I thought someone would change that track record." Emma drew a shuddering breath, silent as a nurse walked by casting a sympathetic glance her way. That made her angry. "And now I can't even look at Jones without feeling like I did when Neal left me in jail. Jones could have called me. I would have listened, understood, left work to go help him. But he, like the rest of the world, didn't trust me enough to help. I'm just the same girl I was when I was left on the road."

David shifted away from her and Emma deflated a bit more before he realized that he was just reaching for the cellphone in his back pocket. A quick text and response later he moved back towards her.

"Mary Margaret's on her way. She's going to take you to our place to stay until this mess gets figured out."

"I'm fine," Emma argued. "I'll go home. No problem." Ice cream, cuddling with Henry and putting the swan necklace back on seemed like a valid plan for the night.

"Emma, I'm not going to let you be alone. Jones may have been an idiot today but I'm not. You deserve to be surrounded by people who care and love you. I'll tell Ruby to get Henry and drop him off before supper. We have plenty room in our house for both of you, you know that."

"David, honestly. I can take care of myself." Emma was embarrassed that he was offering. She was strong enough to take care of herself. She'd been doing it for years.

"I know you can, Emma, sweetheart, but I won't feel okay if you're not with one of us. I'll worry about you and Henry. I want to know you're safe, warm, well fed with whatever baked goods Mary Margaret creates in her stress and around people who make you a top priority. It doesn't have to be for very long, just a few nights, okay?"

Before she could answer Emma glanced up at the sound of clicking of heels. Mary Margaret hurried towards them, focused in on Emma like she was a bull's-eye. She squatted in front of Emma, wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"Come home with me Emma. We'll make cherry pie together. Or I will and you can taste test." Mary Margaret pulled back and ran a thumb across Emma's cheek. The movement was so loving that Emma sighed, leaning against her friend's hand involuntarily. That her body did the motion before she could even think about it told Emma exactly what she should do.

"Okay." Emma stood as Mary Margaret helped her up by the hand. "That would be really nice." Mary Margaret pulled her up the hall and to her car, never once letting go of Emma's hand. Even though Emma felt like that little lost girl of her past again, as she was guided through the parking lot she didn't have to pretend that this time she was actually going to a home that loved her.


	27. Cherry Pie

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and the show's creators.

Mary Margaret situated Emma on the bar stool next to the breakfast nook when they reached the house. It was a warm house, the walls a cheery butter yellow. Sunlight streamed through every window. There was an antique look about the place that was soft and well-loved rather than stuffy. Mary Margaret and David were the only ones of the group to actually own a house which Emma thought was fitting as she looked around at the pictures lining the walls. Even she was up there, in a picture with Killian and Henry steering The Jolly Roger on the night cruise. Emma turned away from the picture biting her lip.

In front of her Mary Margaret was placing baking supplies. She hummed with a nervous energy, working at a fast pace. Colourful ceramic bowls appeared from cupboards, measuring cups with animals painted on them were produced from a drawer. Even the wooden spoon she used had a little bird carved into the top of the handle. It was all very Mary Margaret. A basket of cherries was put in front of Emma before Mary Margaret began making the dough for the crust, meticulously measuring out the flour in a cup painted with frolicking deer.

"Do you think you can pit the cherries Emma? I'll do it if you don't want to but it might be nice to keep busy?" She set a small paring knife beside Emma's hand and watched her face closely.

Emma took a deep breath. She could help. It would be good to keep herself occupied with such a task. Emma picked up the knife, tried to smile at Mary Margaret and set to work. The two didn't speak while they worked. The only sound in the house was the little pings that signaled every time Emma dropped a cherry pit into the metal kitchen scraps bowl.

Emma finished the cherries at the same time Mary Margaret put the wrapped up ball of dough into the refrigerator to chill. Emma examined her cherries with pride, finally starting to feel a bit more like herself.

"You know, this is the first pie I've ever made. Or helped make, I guess." She pushed the bowl of cherries closer to Mary Margaret so she could start making the filling.

Mary Margaret smiled warmly as she poured sugar in the bowl with the cherries. "I'm glad I got the honour to experience that with you."

"Me too." Emma's voice was quiet as she watched Mary Margaret work, awed that she did it without a recipe. She couldn't have asked for a better person to make a pie with.

Mary Margaret turned towards Emma, a wide smile stretching across her face before hurrying over and loping her arms around her. Emma laughed as flour plumed in the air between them, shaken free from Mary Margaret's shirt.

"No matter what Killian does, or what you decide about your relationship with him you're always welcome here. You know that right?"

Emma pulled back. "But Jones is your friend." Killian would be picked over her, Emma knew that. She understood that.

"And so are you." Mary Margaret's voice was firm when she argued back.

"Jones was here first."

"Doesn't matter. We have room for the both of you in whatever capacity you decide. Trust me Emma, no one wants to see you go. Okay?" Mary Margaret pulled her in again. Emma gratefully accepted the gesture with a nod. David had been right- it_ was_ nice to be somewhere where you were a top priority.

"That's what I was hoping to see," David called as he walked into the room. Emma raised an eyebrow at him when Mary Margaret let her go.

"The pie or the hug?" Emma asked, shaking the flour off her shirt. Mary Margaret had practically covered her with it from the hugs.

"Both?" David replied, handing Emma her cell phone and car keys. "We thought you might want that and your car so Robin drove it here and I'm going to drive him back to the hospital."

"Thanks David." Emma accepted another hug from him. She couldn't remember a time when she'd been hugged so many times, or when she'd been so okay with it.

David's face was tired even though he was smiling and Emma couldn't stop herself from speaking. Maybe she was a glutton for punishment or maybe the part of her that loved Killian was stronger than the lost girl in her. "How is he?"

David looked down at her then at Mary Margaret, checking. Mary Margaret nodded for him to tell Emma. "Jones is in rough shape but will be fine. They finished the stomach pump before I left. They're keeping him for a few days, just to make sure he's alright. The doctor has him on a small amount of oxygen to make sure his breathing stays regular while they wait for the blood alcohol levels to drop and he's on intravenous fluids. Jones was finally beginning to sober up when they started him on the fluids."

"That's a relief," Mary Margaret cried. Emma couldn't think of anything to say. She was relieved as well but the whole thing still hurt, still felt surreal.

"Jones asked for you Emma. Several times."

"What did you tell him?" Emma's voice was quiet, meeker than she wanted it to be.

"That you were gone. That you both needed some space. Jones is really mad at himself for what he put you through and he's getting more and more upset as he sobers up. I didn't say anything about you coming back to visit because I wasn't sure what you wanted."

Emma nodded at the answer. "Thank you." Emma didn't say how long she needed away from him because she didn't know. Maybe a day. Maybe forever. She was infinitely grateful that David had let her decide, kept all the pressure off her to visit Killian.

"I've got to get going again. Robin's waiting in the car. I'll be back tonight. Ruby's going to pick up Henry so you don't have to worry about him." David gave her another hug then kissed both women on the cheek before leaving.

"Are you okay Emma?" Mary Margaret asked when they were alone again.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." She would be fine. She didn't feel as shaken up as she thought she might after hearing about Killian which was a relief. Emma took her seat at the breakfast nook again, setting her phone and keys on the counter, while Mary Margaret started baking again, making what looked like sugar cookies this time.

Emma watched Mary Margaret putter, content to watch her mix the dough and occasionally accept samples from her. Mary Margaret chatted about Henry, asking whether he'd want to help decorate the cookies and what colour icing would be his favourite. As Emma answered the questions, thinking about how happy Henry would be when he arrived, her chest began to ache a little less and she didn't feel quite so numb.

On the counter Emma's phone buzzed. She reached for it thinking it was work since she had left in such a hurry without giving anyone a head's up or even locking her office. She held the phone to her ear, cringing at what her boss might have to say about her actions. Mary Margaret turned to see who had called.

"Emma Swan?"

"Hey Ems. Long-time no talk."

The phone clattered to the ground and Emma screamed.


	28. Ohana

_A/N:_ I hope all the updates aren't a nuisance. It's just that I'm leaving Tuesday morning for vacation and won't be bringing my writing with me so I want the story finished before then. I don't want to leave you all hanging for a week. My job involves sitting at a computer all day in a very quiet office so I can putter on my story between tasks/during break. That's how I'm getting it done so fast. If the update schedule is bothersome let me know. I want to do what you all like best.

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Mary Margaret was around the counter in a flash. When she grabbed Emma's shoulders Emma flinched and skittered backwards, as if it were_ him_ touching her. She couldn't take her eyes off the phone lying on the floor, still lit up, still with_ him_ on the other side. Mary Margaret approached again slowly, hands up.

"Who is it, Emma?" she whispered, setting her hand on Emma's shoulder.

_"Neal."_ It took all Emma's strength to get that word out between her shaking teeth.

To admit that he'd found her, that she hadn't escaped her old life as she had believed, was the hardest thing Emma had ever done. She'd been foolish to think she could be Emma Swan, mother, social worker, friend, love. She was still Emma Swan, lost, broken, unsafe. Everything since Henry was born was just a ruse, a sick joke. How had Neal found her? Why? After all these years? What did he want? A jolt of fear went though her when she thought about his claim over Henry. Neal shouldn't know about Henry. There was no way he could find out, right? Emma hadn't put him on Henry's birth certificate. There was no father listed. Was Neal back for her son or did he just want to check up on an old flame?

Mary Margaret bent and grabbed the phone. "What do you want?" she hissed. She scowled as she listened to Neal's response. "No, I'm not Emma and if you call for her again we'll have you charged with harassment. She doesn't want to see you or talk to you. Goodbye." Mary Margaret ended the call with a growl, setting the phone on the counter.

"Emma, Emma, breathe." Emma forced out a breath she didn't realize she was keeping inside. Why was this all happening now? She wasn't strong enough to deal with both Neal and Killian at once.

"What did he want?" Emma couldn't look up at Mary Margaret when she spoke, not when she was trying so hard to keep the tears back.

"Neal wanted to see you. Start things up again." So he hadn't just found her phone number. The man was also around.

"Did he ask about Henry?"

Mary Margaret shook her head vehemently but she still looked just as worried as Emma felt. "No. There wasn't even an implication that he knew about Henry."

"Henry can't be alone when he's in town."

Mary Margaret nodded and set Emma's shaking form on the sofa. "You let me handle everything. We'll keep you safe."

Mary Margaret grabbed the house phone and stood by the wall. It looked like she wanted to discuss this out of Emma's earshot but she also didn't want to stray too far in case Emma needed her. "David? Yeah, where are you?" She listened for the answer, toe tapping. "We have a situation here. How soon can you get back?" Mary Margaret took a deep breath, glanced at Emma then answered David's question. "Neal just called Emma, trying to see. What do we do?" David's answer was short. Mary Margaret hung up the phone and returned to Emma's side.

"David's at the hospital with the boys. He's sending Robin here to stay with us, just in case Neal shows up. David would be here, sirens blazing on his cop car, but since he put himself as Killian's emergency contact he really shouldn't leave until Killian levels out. Ruby's going to go get some things for you and Henry out of your apartment so that you don't have to go back there until we figure things out and then pick him up. Okay, Emma?"

Emma nodded, trying to remind herself that here she was safe. She was in the town sheriff's house for crying out loud. Robin was coming. Henry was coming. And David would be there later. Neal couldn't get her. Not unless he tried something really stupid. There was no safer place she could be, as much as her desire to run was telling her different.

"Do you want anything, Emma?"

She shook her head and rubbed her hands across her thighs. What she really wanted was for her and Henry to be at Killian's place by the water, tucked up and safe on his old couch. But she couldn't have that. Killian had left her. She wouldn't be safe at his place anymore.

"How about I make some cocoa?"

Emma nodded, still too shocked to speak. Maybe the cocoa would help warm her up, stop the shaking. It wasn't fair. Nothing good in Emma's life ever lasted. Everything crumbled eventually. Henry was the only bright spot in her life she'd been able to keep. And now Neal was back, threatening that light as well, even if Henry wasn't a part of his plan.

Mary Margaret returned from the kitchen with three mugs, each topped with cinnamon. She gave one to Emma, set one on the table for Robin when he arrived and kept one for herself. She settled next to Emma, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch and spreading it over Emma's lap.

A knock on the door made Emma jump, nearly spilling the hot drink clasped between her hands. Mary Margaret got up and hurried to the door to let Robin in before locking it, the dead bolt clicking sharply. Robin walked over to Emma, worry creasing his face, and squatted in front of her. Emma took a deep breath. She was safe, locked in a very secure house and Robin had arrived. Henry was being taken care of and would arrive shortly. She didn't need to worry. She'd be taken care of.

"You gonna protect me Nature Boy?" Emma asked wryly.

Robin laughed, clearly relieved that her voice still held some of the sarcasm she enjoyed employing on him. "My squirrel army is assembling outside as we speak."

"I told you that you spent too much time in the woods."

Snorting, Robin grabbed his cocoa and settled in the chair across from Emma, putting his feet up on the coffee table. Mary Margaret swatted them down but as soon as she turned back to Emma his feet were up again, making Emma laugh into her mug.

Robin took a long drink before speaking. "You're going to have to make up the couches tonight, Mary Margaret."

"Why? Emma and Henry are going to use the guest bedroom." Emma opened her mouth to say she'd sleep on the couch, not to worry but Robin cut her off.

"That's fine. But where are Jeff and I sleeping?"

"You're staying?" Emma asked surprised. Mary Margaret didn't seem shocked in the slightest.

"Jeff and I talked after David told us what happened. We both want to be here. David's going to need a second in the fight if Neal shows up."

"But that makes three with you both?" Emma tried not to cry at his words. Everyone wanted to be with her, to protect her and her son. Even though Killian was in the hospital and everyone was already strained from that they still didn't want to leave her. The whole idea of not having to be alone was starting to get stronger in Emma's mind.

"Jeff's number two. I've got to be around to control the squirrels. Wouldn't want them going rabid on you through the night."

"You are so full of it," Emma laughed. It felt good to laugh. Robin was so silly, yet under his words ran an undercurrent of genuine concern. Robin didn't seem to have any desire to leave Emma alone.

"I hope I'm going to be full of pie soon," he replied. Mary Margaret jumped up with a little squeak and hurried to the kitchen.

"I need to put the cookies in if we want them ready for Henry," she called over her shoulder.

"Do I get any?" Robin asked making puppy dog eyes.

"You want to steal cookies from my kid?" Emma asked, settling back into the cushions. The light hearted banter Robin provided was relaxing. And very,_ very_ welcome.

"_Share._ Haven't you taught him to share, Mommy?"

"Yeah, and he probably shares better than you,_ squirrel boy_."

"_Squirrel commander."_

"What are we going to do with you?" Mary Margaret asked returning from the kitchen, holding a mixing bowl in her hands. "I couldn't decide what colours Henry would like since you said he wouldn't care, Emma, so I'm mixing one big bowl and I'll split it into smaller sections and make a rainbow."

"You don't have to do that, Mary Margaret," Emma replied, both touched and a little embarrassed that she was going to so much work so Henry could decorate cookies.

"I don't mind at all," she replied easily.

"Don't worry about it, Emma. This is just a regular Monday activity for her. You don't want to know how many times I've come in to see her covered in icing sugar," Robin said seriously. Mary Margaret swatted at him again before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Robin and Emma sat in companionable silence as Mary Margaret finished baking. After Robin had drained his mug of cocoa he set it down and looked at Emma seriously.

"We aren't going to let him hurt you again, Emma. I promise you that." Robin crossed the floor and sat next to Emma, placing a hand on hers. "Neal won't show up, and if he does he'll have three very angry, very protective big brothers to deal with. Have you ever watched the movie_ Lilo and Stitch_, Emma?"

She nodded, still processing that he'd called himself, David and Jefferson her brothers. That had never happened before. She'd never even been called a foster sister. Emma glanced at him, eyebrow raised. "You make it a point of watching cartoons?"

"That is not_ just_ a cartoon, Miss. Swan. That movie is a piece of cinematic genius. But you're ruining my speech with your snark. May I continue without further interruption?" Emma nodded, curious as to where he was going. Was she supposed to be the little alien this group of friends had adopted? "Well there's this great saying in the movie. It goes like this:_ Ohana_ means family. Family means_ no one_ gets left behind or forgotten. You and Henry are as much a part of our little ohana as Jeff or David or me. Don't forget that okay?"

Emma smiled, tears running down her cheek. She quickly swiped them away. She didn't want Robin to think he'd upset her. Because he hadn't._ Not even close._ Robin and the rest of the group had given her what she'd spent her whole life looking for and even now, when she was a mess, when one of the group was in the hospital and when her old ex was lurking somewhere in the town they weren't leaving her. They were bringing her into their home without question. Putting themselves in danger just to keep her safe.

Emma had found her ohana._ Finally._


	29. Polaris

_A/N:_ So I guess people seem to like lots of updates. Being away from university for the summer makes it easy so I'll keep doing them as much as I can.

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Henry arrived without a care in the world, excited to be staying at David's house. David had sheriff uniforms_ and_ a badge, which he'd let Henry wear when he got home. That's what Henry was most concerned with. Emma planned to keep it that way. Ruby on the other hand looked less pleased.

Emma led her into the guest bedroom, put the suitcase she'd brought on the bed and then sat down. Ruby was by her side immediately, eyes scanning her to check for signs of stress or fear.

"Are you okay? Do you want to leave here? Are you too overwhelmed? They won't be upset if you are." Ruby had seen Emma upset before. She knew her default reaction.

Emma placed her hand on Ruby's. "I'm okay, Ruby. I'm a little overwhelmed but it's fine. I want to stay here with them all. I'll be safe. David is the sheriff."

"That's the only reason I'm letting you stay here and not at my place." Ruby gave Emma a sad smile. "I'm so sorry this all happened to you at once, Emma. Or at all."

"I know. But there's nothing you can do about it. If Neal shows up David will arrest him." Robin had made her feel safe. She had no desire to leave Mary Margaret's that night.

Ruby nodded. "But what about Killian?"

Emma took a deep breath. That she was still feeling shaky about. "I don't know, Ruby. Jones nearly died. I'm angry at him. I can't believe he would do something like that to himself. Jones said nothing about Milah contacting him and giving him a hard time, or even what today was for him. If he doesn't trust me enough how do I trust him?"

Ruby shrugged. "I don't have an answer for that. The whole thing wasn't something I expected to happen. I can see Killian's motivation; understand why he drank so much. But that doesn't mean he should have done what he did. I think you being here, having your space is the best thing right now."

"Is it bad that even though I'm angry I'm still worried about him?"

Ruby shook her head with a small laugh. "No. That's good, Emma. I'd be worried if you completely hated him." Emma didn't know if it was possible for her to hate Killian.

"But I still don't think I could go to the hospital, even if this thing with Neal hadn't happened." She wasn't ready to face him, to relive the memory of finding him in the graveyard which would inevitably happen. She needed to settle down first.

"That's okay, Emma," Ruby reassured her again. "You need to do what feels right for you."

Emma nodded._ Don't overthink. Do what feels right._ She licked her lips. "How is he now?" Emma didn't overthink the question. It was the first thing that had come to her mind so she went with it.

"Killian is alright. The doctor has decided to keep him on fluids and oxygen all night since his blood alcohol level still isn't stable. Killian drank a lot, Emma. If you hadn't have found him," Ruby trailed off momentarily. Emma knew what she was getting at though._ Killian would be dead._ "But he should make a full recovery. They were a little worried about brain damage at the start."

Emma's heart stopped._ No._ "But that didn't happen, right?"

Ruby was quick to shake her head. "Killian's been responsive for a while. He knows where he is, who his is, what the date is. Jefferson's been talking with him." Ruby paused for a moment, thinking. "Killian feels terrible, Emma. He understands what he did to you, even in his foggy state. I'm on your side, but I just wanted to make sure you knew that this was an error in Killian's judgement, not a slight at you."

Emma drummed her fingers against her leg. The urge to make sure he was okay herself was almost overpowering. She wanted to hear his voice after the day she'd had. Killian had had a terrible day, first Liam then Milah. Doing what he did was how he coped. Emma didn't have the best coping strategies to be judging the finesse of someone else's.

Emma looked down as Ruby put something on her thigh. It was Ruby's phone. She shrugged innocently when Emma cast her a surprised glance. "I'm sure Jefferson would share his phone." She gave Emma's shoulder a reassuring pat before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

Emma fingered the phone. Ruby knew her so well. She knew how Emma was tempted but how the lost girl held her back, trying to keep her from getting even more hurt._ Ohana, Emma. You're not lost._ It was just a call, right? Just a check in. It didn't have to mean anything other than she was worried about him. She could sort out their relationship later._ Don't overthink, Emma. Do what feels right._ She punched in the number for Jefferson before she could change her mind.

"Hello?"

"Hi Jeff," Emma answered, more than a little nervous. "Can you put Jones on?"

"Sure, Emma. He'd love that." Emma could hear the smile in Jefferson's voice. There was a rustling as the phone passed hands.

"Swan?" Killian's voice was weak, rough, and still a little drunk sounding. It was good to hear his voice though. Emma's nervousness began to dissipate.

"Hi Jones. How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," he groaned. "And not just because of what I drank." Emma knew what he was implying but that wasn't something she wanted to talk right then.

"Let's focus on your health right now, okay?"

"Okay, Swan. As you wish." Despite herself Emma smiled. She loved that line.

"Ruby says you'll make a full recovery."

"Aren't we all lucky?" Killian's voice dripped sarcasm and self-loathing.

"Don't joke about that, Jones." Emma fought back the tears. The thought of losing Killian, the words coming from his own mouth, stung more than she expected. Maybe she wasn't as angry as she thought. If she was at all.

"Sorry, Swan." Killian sighed then coughed as the rush of air irritated his throat. "I just don't know what to do, Emma." Killian sounded as if he were ready to cry too.

"Get better. That's your only job."

"For you, I will." Killian paused to let that sink in. "Are you coming back?"

Emma closed her eyes at the tentative hope in his voice. But she couldn't go. Not yet. Not with her emotions so out of control. Not with Neal running around and probably knowing where she worked. The hospital was too dangerous. But she couldn't tell Killian that. It would make him worry more about her than his own health. There was no need to stress Killian out more than he already was. "Not right now, Jones."

"Okay, Swan. That's fair." Killian sounded exhausted, even more strained after speaking for just several minutes. Emma wondered if he'd taken his oxygen off while he spoke with her. It was time to let him rest.

"Get better. Bye." Emma hung up quickly and stared at the phone as the screen dimmed. She felt better hearing his voice but the way she ended the conversation didn't feel right. Too much like she was running. She felt as if she was missing something. Emma redialed.

"Hello?"

"Call me if you get lonely. Get Jeff to leave his phone or get you yours. Bye Jones." Emma hung up again and stood.

When Emma made it back into the kitchen Mary Margaret had already spread small bowls of icing across the counter and placed a big platter of sugar cookies, cut into the shapes of stars, in the middle. Robin and Henry sat at the stools, waiting to be given the go sign. Emma moved towards her son, giving Ruby her phone back as she passed. Ruby took it with a nod and then said her goodbyes. She was meeting Victor after his shift at the hospital so had to get going.

Henry held up a cookie for Emma to see. "Look, Mommy, I'm going to make Polaris." The soft sob that escaped Emma's lips at Henry's words made Henry's proud smile falter. Henry was just as attached to Killian as she was. Emma had to get this mess figured out before Henry got even more involved. "That's right isn't it, Mommy?" Henry asked, a desperate whine sneaking into his voice. "That's what Killy told me."

"That's right Henry," Mary Margaret chimed in, catching Emma's hand and holding it. She gave it a squeeze.

Robin jumped in as well after a quick glance at Emma. "I bet I can make a better Polaris than you."

"Nuh-uh" Henry replied, reaching for the yellow icing. "I listened better to Killy."

Robin shrugged. "That's probably the truth, kid." Henry smiled, delighted. Robin grabbed the blue icing and started in on his cookie, pretending to hide it from Henry while making grand gestures at the same time in order to look over at Henry's Polaris. Henry quickly accused him of cheating and made Mary Margaret and Emma stand between them.

For the next two hours Emma became cookie assistant extraordinaire, reaching the bowls that Henry couldn't reach and helping him draw straight lines or shapes on the cookies with a toothpick and a different colour icing. She was covered in food dye by the time David got home but it was worth it to see Henry's delight, to see him totally oblivious to Neal's arrival or Killian's health.

Once the cookies were all decorated- Henry having done 75% of them, Henry took it upon himself to present them like grand works of art. Each had a name as well. Each was named after a star.


	30. Warrant

_A/N:_ This is the fourth chapter today so hopefully it goes over as well as the others. (I'm not counting the one posted at midnight my time as a chapter from today considering I hadn't slept for the night yet when it went up.) Thank you so much for reviewing! Those are seriously what drives my desire to write. I love knowing the story makes someone happy, or feel anything at all really.

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and the show's creators.

Emma rejoined the group in the living room after she finally convinced Henry, sugar fueled state and all, to go to bed. It had only taken two stories about Peter Pan and an agreement that Killian's boat was in fact cooler than The Jolly Roger of lore. Mainly because Henry had been on Killian's. She rubbed her eyes as she sank down between Robin and David on the sofa. Jefferson was setting up an air mattress on the floor in front of her after losing a round of Rock Paper Scissors to Robin. Robin, much to his excitement, won the couch. It was like he'd won the Tour de France the way he carried on after he went with paper and Jefferson chose rock. Mary Margaret returned from the linen closet, arms laden with several sheet sets and two quilts.

Jefferson had arrived just after seven, knocking loudly on the locked front door. The knock terrified Emma as much as it had when Robin did it but Jefferson's friendly face quickly dispelled the fear. Visiting hours had ended at seven. Killian had finally fallen asleep, exhausted, sore and sober about twenty minutes before that. Before he left Jefferson had tracked down Killian's doctor to get the latest update.

Killian's blood alcohol level had finally dropped to a reasonable level so in the morning he would be taken off the oxygen and then taken of the IV drip of electrolytes later that afternoon. Because of what he'd done to himself the doctor had ordered a seventy-two hour watch to be placed on him, just to make sure he'd be alright when released. The doctors understood the situation, why Killian had done it and that the alcohol poisoning was accidental but it was policy. Emma was actually glad. That would give her enough time to figure out what to do about Killian.

Emma called Ariel and explained the situation with Neal after supper so that her boss would understand why she couldn't go to work. The hospital was just too public and too risky. Ariel had been devastated when Emma answered her question as to what the number was that Neal had used. It was the same one for the man who had called her asking for Emma's information. Emma had already guessed as much. But at least that made Ariel give her as many days off as she needed so Emma couldn't be that mad. It's not like Ariel could have guessed it was her criminal ex back to wreak havoc in her life.

Emma's phone buzzed in her pocket. She shifted and fished it out, heart stopping when she read the number.

"It's Neal," she said breathily as she turned to David. There was a growl from someone but Emma wasn't sure who. Everyone looked equally displeased. "What do I do?"

David glanced at the phone. "Two options. One, you ignore him, hope he goes away. Two, you answer it and see what he wants. If we know we can deal with it. Arrest him maybe."

Emma nodded and forced herself to answer, trying to stay casual. "Emma Swan." David motioned for her to put the phone on speaker. She did, setting it down on the coffee table.

"Hello Emma. Finally free of that person who did your talking earlier? Never thought you needed a mouthpiece. Especially since I remember several things you did with that mouth quite vividly." Emma could feel her face heat at his words. Robin half rose from his seat, face just as red, though from anger rather than embarrassment. Emma forced several deep breaths into her lungs and out through her nose.

"Yeah, I am. What do you want?"

"Just to see you Ems. It's been four years. Don't you miss me?" Neal's brazen words sparked her anger._ Good. She'd need that._

"Miss the person who sent me to jail? Yeah, no, I don't think so."

"Come on Ems. I let you keep a watch didn't I?"

"And gave me a criminal record. What a_ generous_ gift."

"I could give you a better one? Let me spend the night." Emma was sure it was David who growled this time.

"Absolutely not."

"Well I'm already outside your apartment so you better let me in. Come down and unlock the door and I'll remind you why you love me." Emma's heart stopped. Neal was at her place._ Wanting to spend the night._ The shaking started again, her hand vibrating against her thigh. David waved for her to cut the call off, already up and moving for his badge.

"Leave or I'll call the police."

"Didn't think you liked the police Ems."

"I'm rather partial to a few."

"So you're doing a few?" Neal's voice dripped insinuation. Emma's face burned hotter. Everyone turned to the door as David left. Emma heard the sirens go on a few moments later when he was down the road. She turned back to the phone.

"Look, Neal, I don't want anything to do with you. I hate you. Stay out of my life. Go back to whatever cave you crawled out of and we can forget this ever happened."

"Not yet Emma. See you around." The line went dead. No one spoke until Jefferson reached over and shut the phone off.

"Are you going to tell Jones about Neal?" Jefferson asked as he sat down on his makeshift bed again. "Because he doesn't know anything."

Emma shook her head. "Not while he's in the hospital."

"Do you really think that's right? Jones will want to know. Especially since we're all in on it."

"You would have wanted to know about Milah," Mary Margaret added diplomatically. Emma couldn't argue. She would be just as bad as he had been with secrets if this was kept a secret. Telling Killian was the right thing to do no matter what their relationship was at the moment.

"Can we wait until he's a bit more recovered? You know he'll fight tooth and nail to get out of the hospital when he hears. Jones needs to focus on getting better a bit longer first."

Robin nodded in agreement. "Okay, but if Neal gets any more aggressive we tell Jones immediately. Doesn't matter when. Deal?"

Emma pursed her lips and thought, waiting for the shaking in her hand to go away. She spoke when her muscles had calmed. "Deal."

"At least he still thinks you're at your place."

"That's not much of a relief," Emma replied sourly.

"Well that just means that you won't go back there until Neal leaves or gets arrested." Mary Margaret said it like that solution was the simplest thing in the world.

"I can't impose on you that much. What if it takes more than a few nights?"

"Then you stay more than a few nights. We have the room, Henry's comfortable and you both are safe."

Emma worried at her lip. That was too much of an imposition. It wasn't just Emma staying with the couple. It was her four year old son as well. Robin leaned towards her and whispered in her ear._ "Ohana."_

_Ohana_ Emma told herself firmly._ Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten._ She smiled at Mary Margaret. Mary Margaret wouldn't offer if she didn't want Emma to accept. She wasn't false like that. "Thank you all. For everything."

"It's our pleasure Emma." Mary Margaret smiled warmly. Her smile was the definition of the meaning behind ohana. She stood, facing the others, hands on her hips. "Now do you three want some pie?"

_"Finally!"_ Robin cried, throwing his hands up into the air.

David returned just after Emma had finished her slice of pie. "There was no one at your apartment when I got there. Everything was still locked up. I checked the hallways as well, but no one was around," he said, frustrated, as hung his coat by the door and sat down next to Emma again. "I called the station and put a warrant out for Neal's arrest. The deputy is going to go out and look for him."

Emma thanked David for going after Neal and for putting out the word on him. It truly meant a lot to her because David didn't have to go out after Neal. David was off duty. But despite her thankfulness she knew the warrant would be useless. Neal knew the system too well to be caught as he moved around. Neal would need to be caught in the act or leave town of his own volition. That was the only way the situation could end.

Robin put his arm around Emma's shoulders and pulled her close. Emma relaxed against him, exhausted. She had nothing left after both the Killian and Neal bombs exploded on the same day. Emma knew she had to trust that the police could do their jobs. She couldn't do anything more. Neal walking free wasn't a worry for tonight. What mattered most was that Henry was safe and Killian would recover. She had to be thankful for that.

Leaning back against Robin a part of Emma pretended she was leaning against Killian, wrapped in his strong arms as he fiddled with his prosthetic or guitar. She stored that thought away for the morning as well.


	31. Apology

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Emma padded into the living room on her sock feet, Henry still asleep in the guest bed they had shared. Mary Margaret had left for work about an hour earlier, Robin going with her. David left not long after to check on the station with the promise to return before lunch. Which left Jefferson on guard duty. Not that he was doing much guarding passed out on the floor.

Emma touched his shoulder with her foot, nudging him slightly. Jefferson groaned and rolled over, throwing his hands over his head. Emma nudged him a little more forcefully. After another groan and a shifting of positions he opened one eye scowling. Obviously Jefferson wasn't a morning person.

"Do you want pancakes?" Emma asked trying to contain her grin at his sleep fueled gruff. Mary Margaret had left the supplies out on the counter before she left and Emma was hungry.

"Blueberry," he mumbled before putting his face in the pillow, asleep again. This time she laughed, shaking her head at him.

Emma returned to the kitchen and started measuring the ingredients for the pancakes. It was easy to pretend in such a quiet house that nothing bad had happened, that she was just up and making breakfast for her family. Though, if Emma was in her own house she definitely wouldn't be using a quarter cup measure with hand painted starlings on it.

In her back pocket Emma's phone buzzed. She pulled it out, glancing at the number. If it was Neal she wasn't picking up. She was in too good a mood and it was far too early for ex-boyfriends. It wasn't Neal though. It was Killian. She hit talk and held it up to her ear.

"You're up early, Jones."

"They're keeping me here for two more days," he groaned. Emma had to smile. Killian sounded like himself again.

"Shall I pull out the world's smallest violin again?" she asked, pouring milk into the mixing bowl.

"You really aren't funny, Swan."

"Says you," Emma replied, whipping the batter. There were a few moments of silence over the line as she did. Emma tried not to worry about what Killian was thinking, what was coming next.

"Emma, we need to talk." She didn't miss the use of her first name. Emma's heart thumped uncomfortably in her chest.

"Jones," she said cautioning. Emma didn't want to ruin the morning she'd been having.

"No, look, I need you to hear me out. And since you can't make it in," Emma noticed how his voice changed on can't and felt a surge of guilt at keeping him oblivious to Neal's return, "I'm going to talk to you now. Please?"

Emma licked her lips. Killian deserved the chance to tell her his side of the story. Over the phone was safer for her than in person. "Okay, Jones."

Killian took a deep breath then jumped in. "Swan, I'm so sorry for what happened. I should have told you about Liam and Milah. It was my job to protect you, to love you, to make you feel safe and I failed, lass. I can't ask for forgiveness but I truly hope you will let me back in. Look, I know this probably won't make it better but did you happen to look around at the gravestones while you were there?"

Emma snorted, caught off guard. "Sorry, Jones. I was a little more concerned about the half dead person in front of me."

Killian sighed. "If you had you would have noticed that I was nowhere near Liam's grave. I was leaving, coming to find you. I realized while I sat in front of Liam's stone that what I was doing wasn't right. Liam would have been so disappointed in me. The rum wasn't going to make me feel better. Only you were going to do that. Your absence felt the exact same way as my missing hand does, phantom pain and all. An important part of me wasn't there when I needed it the most. So I got up and started walking to the hospital to see you."

"You were going to walk?" Emma's voice was quiet, stunned. Killian hadn't been trying to leave her? He'd been trying to find her?

"I was drunk, Swan. Don't judge my decisions while inebriated." Jones let out a little laugh. "Anyways, I was about where you found me when I started feeling really ill. I guess I passed out then because the next thing I remember is lying in the hospital bed, holding your hand. And then you left." His tone is defeated when he stops speaking.

Emma's guilt soared. She'd judged him too fast, too harshly. Emma hadn't even thought about why he had done what he did before she left. Emma had been so scared of getting hurt again that she'd run for cover without even realizing that her hurt was just collateral damage from Killian's own pain. And wasn't that what love was? Hurting when the other person hurt? She'd misattributed the cause of her pain and left Killian alone. "I'm sorry I left, Killian. It wasn't fair. You scared me-"

"And you don't handle fear well. I know, Emma. I understand." Killian paused for a moment. Emma poured blueberries into the pancake batter while she waited. "So, I just wanted to know if we were okay? If when I'm released I'll be able to come see you. Because I miss you, Emma. More than I ever thought possible."

"I miss you too, Jones." It was the truth. Emma couldn't deny it, not when she wished Killian had been there last night, holding her instead of Robin, or when she spent the night dreaming about the star cruise.

"Can you come in? Now that we're okay?" The hopefulness in his voice made Emma's heart break.

Before Emma could answer there was a loud pounding on the door, as if someone was knocking and kicking at the same time. Emma froze, not moving until Jefferson ran into the kitchen, eyes wide.

"Neal's here," Jefferson yelled, adrenaline making his voice loud. "Get in the guest room and lock the door. Don't come out until I tell you to. I'll handle this." Over the line Killian was yelling for Emma to tell him what was going on. Jefferson had been loud enough for Killian to hear.

Jefferson nudged Emma to the door of her room. She stumbled a few times before she remembered Henry was at the house as well. Henry needed her to protect him. She took the last few steps to her son at a run. "Wait, is that Jones?" Jefferson asked, grabbing her wrist. Emma nodded, still too stunned to speak. "Good. Keep him on the line in case something happens. Now go." Jefferson shoved Emma into the room. She bolted the door behind her.

Henry had woken up and was crying, scared at both the pounding and Jefferson's loud voice. Emma moved over to comfort him, wrapping her son in her arms while they listened to the pounding continue. It the background Jefferson called David, his voice quieting into a molten anger as the two men spoke.

_"Emma! Emma! What's going on?"_ Killian's yell was loud enough to hear, even with the phone in her hand on Henry's shoulder. Killian's voice was frantic, calling her name, practically begging her to answer.

Emma held the phone back up to her ear and spoke in a hushed tone as Henry continued to cry. "Neal found us." Killian cursed, hard and violently.

"When?"

"Yesterday. After I left the hospital. I got a call from him. Then a second one later when he showed up at my place." It felt good to tell Killian, even though she had been right and he was getting heavily upset.

_"You're ex-boyfriend, who sent you to jail, showed up at your house and I didn't know?"_

"Killian, please calm down." Emma could hear his heart monitor in the background beeping wildly. He was going to hurt himself. "I'm at Mary Margaret's. It's where I stayed last night. I was here when Neal called. Jefferson is here now and David's been called. I didn't tell you last night because I knew you'd get upset. You need to heal."

Killian grumbled a bit about what he actually needed to do before returning to Emma. "What does Neal want?" Emma could hear the fight he put up to keep his words even.

"To get back together." The words made Emma cringe as she rocked Henry in her arms.

"Did you tell him to go to hell?"

"I think that's what Jeff is doing now actually," Emma replied. She could hear Jefferson yelling now that the pounding had stopped but she knew her friend was still in the house. Jefferson wouldn't leave her alone with Neal nearby. Sirens sounded, growing louder as the car parked in front of the house. "David's here."

_"Good."_ Killian yelled for a nurse. Emma listened as he spoke to her. "Please, I need to get out of here. My girlfriend is in danger. No- you don't understand._ I need to go._" Cursing followed as the nurse declined his request because he was under seventy-two hour observation and left.

"Killian,_ I'm fine_." She didn't know if he was paying any attention to her as he was still cursing out the nurse. Emma really hoped Ruby would be on duty soon because she was about the only person who would be able to deal with Killian in that state if he didn't calm down.

There was a knock on the door. Jefferson called through the wood to her, "Emma, David's here. Can you come out and give a statement?" Emma let go of Henry and he let out a heart ripping wail. She held the phone up to her ear again.

_"Killian Jones!"_ she screamed into the receiver. "You shut up right now!" The line went silent apart for a little shuffling on Killian's end.

"I'm here, Swan." Killian's voice was rough from all the cursing.

"Can you talk to Henry? He's terrified and I have to go give a police statement." Henry clung to her side as if she was the only thing in the world that was real to him.

"Put the lad on." There was no hesitation.

Emma bent to Henry. "Do you want to talk to Killian for a bit while Mommy goes and talks to David?"

Henry sniffled but reached for the phone. "Hi, Killy." Henry's voice was thick with tears but Emma was just glad he could talk to someone like Killian. "Can you tell me a story?" Emma left the room at Henry's question as her son sat back on the bed to listen to Killian's lilting voice.

David and his deputy stood in the living room, David looking slightly more upset than what was professionally allowable. When he saw Emma he moved to her and pulled her into a hug. Emma let herself sink into his arms.

"Neal ran when he heard the sirens," David told her as he rubbed circles against his back. "But we saw his car as it went around the corner. It's a yellow VW Beatle. No plate on the back. We're going to put an alert out to all county sheriff departments in case he's stupid enough to continue to use it. I'm sorry I didn't go after him but I was too worried about your safety."

Emma nodded against his chest. "I know. I'm just glad you're here."

David led her to the couch and helped her report everything to the deputy, right from the very beginning. Talking about being left in prison was hard for Emma, the shame and anger making her voice rocky. David squeezed one of her hands when her voiced cracked, Jefferson grabbing the other. Jefferson explained about Neal's appearance, how he'd yelled that he followed David's car to the house thinking he was Emma's new boyfriend and how Neal demanded for her to come out.

Forty five minutes later the deputy drove off in the sheriff's car leaving David behind. When he and Jeff left to go check the house perimeter and all the window locks Emma returned to her bedroom and Henry. Henry sat on the bed as he listened to Killian speak. The redness from his eyes was gone and even a small smile crept up his face. Emma moved to her son and asked for the phone back. The two had occupied Killian long enough and he needed to rest.

"Is Killy going to get better Mommy?" Henry asked as he reluctantly handed the phone over. "I don't want him to die."

Emma squatted in front of him and looked him in the eye. "Killian will be out of the hospital in a few days, right as rain."

Henry smiled wider, satisfied. "Good. Because if he dies he won't be able to marry you."

Emma froze and glanced down at the phone. Her hand hadn't been covering the speaker. Emma raised the phone, blushing heavily. "Hi, Jones."

"Interesting plan your son has there, love." Killian's voice was clearly amused. Emma could hear the smirk; see the eyebrow climb its way up his forehead.

"Shut up, Jones."

Killian laughed before sobering, returning to the business at hand. "The police are gone?"

"Yeah, but David's still here. His deputy is going to put the alert out on Neal's car in all neighbouring jurisdictions."

"Good. I'm just glad you're okay, Swan. I wish I was there with you. I'd show Neal where to go."

Emma shivered at the threat in his tone. "I wish you were here too. But I need you to get better." Killian's health was more important than her feeling safe, being wrapped up in his arms. "You understand why I didn't tell you when we spoke yesterday right?"

"Yeah, I understand. But can we make a deal?" Killian paused, giving Emma time to think. "No more secrets?"

"No more secrets," Emma replied after a moment. If she wanted Killian to trust her she had to trust him. Killian had never tried to hurt her intentionally. He was really the first person to make her feel safe. She needed to remember that.

Killian cursed under his breath. "I need to go, Swan. The nurse says that if I don't hang up and rest she's going to sedate me. I'll call you later?"

"Okay, feel better, Jones."

"Feel safe, Swan," Killian replied softly. "Oh, and lass, don't spend too much time on Pinterest planning our wedding."

Emma hung up on him, rolling her eyes. Killian was so full of it. She took Henry's hand and led him into the kitchen to finish making the pancakes.


	32. More than a Reject

_A/N:_ Here's a short little chapter to set up the rest. Hopefully I'll get another up tonight. I'm going to try my best. Thanks for the continued lovely reviews. They make me so happy! Enjoy and get ready for the beginning of the end!

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

The police couldn't find any trace of Neal or his car. David said that it was suspected he ran when he realized the cops knew what he was driving and had an actual eye witness account of his appearance in Jefferson. Even though it was suspected that Neal was gone Mary Margaret made Emma stay at their house until Killian's release day. David had backed his wife up when Emma had said she would leave and give them their space. Emma didn't want the couple becoming annoyed at her for her constant presence. But she hadn't won the argument. Neither of the couple wanted Emma living in a place Neal knew without anyone else for protection.

Emma still felt as if she were on pins and needles every time her phone rang despite Neal's apparent disappearance. She kept expecting to see Neal's number light up her screen. To find out that he hadn't actually left. Neal running from the police seemed too simple of an answer to Emma, not that she told anyone. Everyone was too proud of how Emma had handled the situation, how strong she'd been. Emma kept all her worries about Neal to herself as she waited with baited breath for something to go wrong again.

Mary Margaret buzzed around the house as she prepared for Killian to arrive. She changed the sheets in the guest bedroom as Killian would also be staying for one final night. Platters of cookies, including Henry's star ones, and sandwiches along with a pitcher of iced tea adorned the table. Everyone was there, waiting for the time to go pick Killian up. It was a nervous energy that filled the house. So much had changed in three days. Everyone seemed to be just waiting to see what would change next.

Emma's phone buzzed and she answered the call with a smirk. "Couldn't wait the hour to talk to me, Jones?"

"Maybe I missed you," he replied easily.

"You're very impatient then," Emma answered. She and Killian had talked three times yesterday, only hanging up when a nurse caught him and threatened to take his phone away.

It was Killian's tired sigh that gave Emma pause. The sound didn't match his earlier words or the significance of the day. She got up from the sofa and retreated to the guest bedroom. "Did something happen, Jones? Are you not getting released today?"

"No, Swan. I'm still coming home. It's just- we made a deal right?"

The secrets deal. Emma let out a long breath. What was he getting at? "And?"

"In the effort to keep my word I just wanted to tell you that Milah's been trying to text me again. And then she showed up here earlier." Emma's fist clenched. _How dare that woman show her face?_

"What did she want?" Emma asked, trying to remember that Killian was telling her this because he trusted her. This was good for their relationship.

"She wanted to talk about you. I said I wasn't interested. She wanted to know why I would choose you over waiting for her to come back. She seemed to think she was a better recipient for my love because of her background as a rich housewife versus yours." Killian tried to say the last words quietly but Emma understood.

"As a system reject." Her tone was bitter. Where did this woman get off with assuming things about Emma? Emma wasn't just the result of a failure within the foster system. She was also a mother, a friend and a lover. "Did she say anything else?" Emma asked carefully, evening her tone. She could tell there was something else lingering behind Killian's words.

"To meet her in the park with my answer. She'd be there until noon."

"Your answer?"

"Whether I'd go back with her. I told her no. She seemed to think I'd change my mind when I weighed the benefits of returning to the affair."

"And have you?" Emma asked, wondering if she'd ever utter a more painful string of words.

_"Absolutely not."_ Killian's answer was vehement. It helped relax the ache in Emma's chest. "I'm coming home to you and Henry and we're going to get it right this time."

Emma glanced at her watch. She had forty five minutes until Robin and David were going to get Killian. A plan formulated in her mind. "Thank you for telling me, Killian."

"I promised you I would. I've got to go sign some release papers. I'll see you soon. Love you."

"I love you too, Jones." Emma hung up the phone and grabbed her red leather jacket and car keys. She hurried out to where the others were gathered. Mary Margaret looked up at her curiously. "I was wondering if I could go pick Jones up. As a surprise? Neal's gone. I'm safe. The hospital has security and Killian will be with me." Emma tried to sound as innocent as possible, as if surprising her boyfriend was the only thing on her mind.

David shrugged. "As long as you keep your phone on you. You're a grown woman Emma. If you want to go pick up your boyfriend then go ahead."

Emma nodded. "Thanks. Can you watch Henry while I'm gone?" Henry was in the backyard playing with Robin.

"Certainly. Good luck, Emma." Mary Margaret smiled up at her. Emma would take the good luck but she didn't exactly need it for her meeting with Killian.

With a final wave Emma hurried out the door and got into her car. Emma's resolve didn't waver as she drove to the town's only park. It only grew stronger. She was ready for this. Killian had given her so much. She was going to give him something.

The park was a large area of greenery with a wooden castle play structure built in the middle of it. It was very small town and worn but Henry loved it, growing especially attached after Killian's embellished bedtime stories of Neverland. Henry liked to visit the park and pretend to be a lost boy. When he and Emma were accompanied by Killian Henry always insisted he be Captain Hook and would tell any child at the play structure that Killy had lost his hand to a crocodile, just like in Peter Pan. Emma was pretty sure some of the other mothers thought she was rather strange after hearing those stories. Emma parked and scanned the area, looking for her target.

There, sitting on one of the benches wearing a long black maxi dress was Milah. She was the only woman at the park so it made the narrowing down process easier. Milah's dark hair fell in luxurious curls down her back, catching the sunlight every time she moved her head as she scanned for Killian, lips pursed.

Seeing Milah made Emma's blood boil. This was the woman who had nearly destroyed Killian for her own gains, twice, and now she was back, jealous that Killian had moved on. Killian had been her plaything and obviously Milah didn't share well. Not that she had any claim whatsoever to share Killian now. She and Neal had tried to ruin Emma's happy ending with Killian. Emma wasn't going to lose what she'd spent her whole like looking for to some married woman wanting for her boy toy back.

Emma got out of the car and slammed the door. She and Milah were going to have a little chat.


	33. Right Hook

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Emma strode over to Milah feeling as if she were going to war with a dragon. She kept her chin high and shoulders back, preparing herself. She was going in there proud and determined. Milah wasn't going to know what hit her. Emma had dealt with nasty women all her life. Milah was no different. Except this time Emma was old enough to fight back. This time fighting for her own needs wasn't going to get her kicked out of a house and sent back to the orphanage. This time it was going to ensure she kept her_ home_.

Emma stopped in front of Milah, who was studying her designer purse as if it were the Mona Lisa. Emma stood hands on her hips, feet planted shoulder width apart ready. She pointedly cleared her throat. Milah looked up and cocked her head to the side, as if noticing Emma for the first time and being distinctly puzzled by her appearance. But the way her eyes glinted told Emma that she'd seen Emma coming. And she had decided to play dumb in defence.

"Can I help you?" Milah asked pleasantly, rising and smoothing out her dress.

Emma wasn't going for that. Milah could play dumb but Emma had no desire to join her. "Let's forget the niceties shall we? I really don't have time to listen to you spew hot air."

Milah's gaze hardened. "Obviously you didn't learn manners in prison." At least she knew who Emma was so they could skip that section of the program.

"Well considering you seemed to have missed them as well at whatever prep school spit you out I don't think I missed much." Emma's tone was just as hard as the glint in Milah's eyes.

"So have you come to beg me to leave Killian alone? Scared I'll win?" Milah's voice was sing-song-y and confident. Emma fought down the urge to roll her eyes.

"No. I'm here to tell you to back the hell off- if you know what's good for you." Emma said the last bit in as pleasant a tone as she could, matching Milah's. She leveled a smile at Milah that was more acerbic than pleasant, lip curling at the last second in distaste.

_"No."_

Emma looked at the woman, confused and a little sad for whatever caused her to be like that, desperate and jealous when she already had a husband and a stable life. "Why do you want him back so badly? Jones has moved on."

Milah shrugged, as if manipulation and destruction were as casual as a Sunday brunch. "Things get so boring at the house when Mr. Gold is gone. He's traveling in Europe on business you see. I need my entertainment and Killian is my_ favourite_ distraction. Such a pretty boy."

"So that's how you treat your favourites? Because he said no you decided to attack him?"

Milah tilted her head again, examining Emma. She smiled as if something was terribly funny. Emma must have missed the punch line because she wasn't amused._ Not in the slightest._ "Not just Killian. You were very fun to play with as well."

Emma froze for a moment before the anger in her stomach melted the shock away. "What are you talking about?" The words came out in a hiss as Emma took a step closer to the other woman. Milah didn't back down, just squared her shoulders and continued to smile.

"You were standing in the way of my happiness. I didn't like it. So I made some calls to a private investigator I know. You've got a very troubling backstory, Miss. Swan. And a_ very_ interesting ex."

"How do you know about Neal?" Emma's shock took the volume from her voice.

"Weren't you listening?" Milah's tone was one a parent might use on a silly child. "I had a private investigator tell me about him. So I looked Neal up and let him in on where you were living. I didn't tell him about your son though, don't worry. I knew if I told him he wouldn't come. Neal isn't exactly responsible parent material. And I needed him to come take you away."

Of course it was too big of a coincidence for everything to happen at once. Of course Milah would have orchestrated Neal as a backup plan if her initial offer to Killian failed. This woman was nothing if not determined.

"Why would you do that?"

"Let's face it; you've always been a runner. So I figured one of two things would happen." Milah counted them out on her fingers, holding two up like a peace sign. Emma wanted to laugh at the gesture. She felt anything but peaceful. "One, you'd run out of Killian's life and save yourself from your ex-boyfriend, because, darling, you certainly know how to pick them. Or two, you'd run to Neal because you still love him. Can't say no to the first man who loved you right Emma? Since you've never actually known any other love."

"I've known enough love," Emma spit back. "I know what Killian and I have. An ex with a vendetta can't change that. So you better get out of_ my_ life._ And_ Killian's."

"How can you love when you've never been loved? Do you even know about your parents? How you were found on the side of the road? Did you know where they set you was on top of a drainage culvert, no better than storm runoff? I bet you haven't even seen the area. Have you ever seen where little Orphan Emma got her start."

"You aren't telling me anything new, Milah." Well, the culvert thing was new but she didn't need to admit how it startled her. Maybe that bit of information was in a newspaper article about her baby self being found on the side of the road. That seemed like the kind of event that would get reported, especially in a small town. Who knew what the private investigator had access to?

"You didn't say whether you saw the area," Milah replied. "Scared?"

"I don't need to see it. I don't need to know anything about whatever family created me. I've got my own family now."

"What, your_ son?_ Emma, darling, be realistic. When he finds out about you being thrown away like garbage before you were even a day old, about how you went to jail for stolen watches and had him while you were still behind bars he's going to take off. You're an embarrassment to him. A shame he has to carry without having a choice. Henry won't stay. Not when he sees the real you."

Emma's fists curled at her side. This woman had absolutely no reason to assume Henry would hate Emma when he knew the full story of her past. Henry was a loving and kind boy, the first thing Emma had ever gotten right. She knew him far better than Milah did. It was one thing for Milah to say nasty things about Emma. Most of the things she said were true. But it was another thing entirely to say such lies about her son.

Milah took a step closer to Emma, the shine of her eyes screaming victory, a final move to shatter Emma's confidence. Because that was what Milah's words had been, Emma realized. An attempt to break Killian's girlfriend when she realized Neal wouldn't be able to. Well, if Milah thought Emma was that easily disposed of she had another thing coming.

Milah smiled as she spoke. "Can you even tell me what family means?"

"It means _ohana_ bitch_._" Emma's right fist made contact with Milah's jaw, the sound of the skin to skin contact echoing around them. Milah's head jerked backwards, eyes rolling into her skull and she collapsed on the ground, out cold. Emma rubbed her sore hand on her jeans as she hurried back to her car.


	34. The Culvert

_A/N:_ This is my last update of the day. There is either two or three chapters left plus an epilogue so hopefully they'll all go up by tomorrow night, Monday morning at the latest. I hope you all are enjoying this story as much as I am. Thanks for being so lovely!

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and the show's creators.

Emma slid into her car, panting. She'd just knocked Milah out. Well, that was one way to make a point. At least Milah would get the message to stay away when she woke up with a bruised jaw. It would take a lot of makeup to cover the mark if the pain radiating across Emma's knuckles meant anything.

Emma set her head on the steering wheel to calm down, Milah's words echoing back to her unbidden._ I bet you haven't even seen the area. Saw where little Orphan Emma got her start._ The desire to go now and see the area was strong. She couldn't push it down. She just needed to see it, take a peak by herself and get it over with. Emma knew seeing the culvert was the closure she needed to move on with Killian, that that was why she felt seeing it was so important. Milah had been taken care of. She wouldn't come back after being shown up by Emma, someone who she had deemed worthless. Milah was too proud for that. Neal appeared to be gone as well. Seeing the culvert would shut the last door to Emma's past so she could finally be comfortable with her little _ohana_. Because Emma didn't want to waste another second without it.

Milah was the prime example of what happened when someone spent too much time in a loveless relationship, craving something she couldn't get because she would rather have the monetary excess of her situation than emotional contentment. Emma understood why the woman wanted to be secure in her position. She herself had spent years trying to build a secure life for both her and her son and now she had that. But unlike Milah, Emma wasn't prepared to live just for money and station in life. Emma was content with her material life, as average as it might be. All that was left that she needed was the love.

Emma glanced at the clock. The confrontation with Milah had only taken ten minutes. Getting to the culvert before ten o'clock would be impossible but Emma knew Killian would wait for her. Emma could call him once she saw the road shoulder and tell him she was on her way. Killian would understand that Emma was doing this for them, so they could be a family with Henry. That was more important than her being a few minutes late.

Emma drove quickly to the spot on the forgotten highway that marked Emma's start in the foster care system. She sped to make it in twenty minutes but considering David was the sheriff she wasn't exactly worried about getting caught. Emma was more concerned about just making it there.

Emma's hands started to shake at mile marker one. Her chest tightened making it painful to breathe at marker two. By the time she reached mile marker three it was all Emma could do to stop the car and get out, weak legs carrying her to the ditch.

The spot she had been left was an empty road, the pavement cracked and brittle from going years without maintenance. The lines on the road hadn't even been painted in recent years, so it was just an estimate for drivers as to where the middle of the road was. The bushes lining the highway had grown up over the ditching, wild and undeterred by the road, some grass even growing in the pavement cracks. The wilderness was reclaiming the highway and no one seemed to care. It stung looking around at the decrepit infrastructure. Was it like this when Emma was left behind? Was this really the best spot her birth parents could have found to leave her?

Emma stumbled a few feet up the road to find the culvert. It was pushed back about five feet from the edge of the pavement, just a black plastic tube for water drainage. The area smelled from the sitting water, algae growing atop the puddles in the ditch. Emma fell to her knees in the gravel, staring at the culvert.

This was where Baby Emma had been left._ Where she had been left._ But this was also where Emma said goodbye to Baby Emma and became the Emma Swan Killian, Henry and the Merry Men loved. Because she deserved it. Looking at the spot where she'd been left Emma realized what a bloody miracle it had been for her to survive. She'd been wasting the miracle that was her life by running from things that scared her instead of taking chances.

Emma had been born in late October. It was cold in Maine that far into the fall. The leaves had changed and the birds had migrated south by then. It wasn't winter yet but it was starting to get desolate. Especially at night. Emma had been left wrapped in only a white crocheted blanket in_ October_. There was no way that blanket could have kept a newborn alive for very long. Whoever had found her back then had probably done it just in time.

Emma reached a shaking hand out and touched the culvert. Twenty two years since she'd last done that. The opening of a chapter and the closing of a chapter both marked by the hard black plastic. She'd come a long way since then, made a little place for herself in the mean world that, at one time, had been all she had known through hard work and determination. Emma felt that it was only fitting that she sit and close her eyes for a few minutes and reflect on what she'd gone through to make sure she was fully ready to move on. Killian deserved that.

Sitting there Emma decided that she deserved her happiness as well. She'd had a shitty go of it, no two ways about it. Emma had been starved and bullied and generally unloved for years before being duped by the first person she felt a connection with. Those months sitting in a jail cell had hardened Emma further, brought up even more walls than the foster system had built. While for four years those walls had kept her and her son safe as she tried to build a life for them it had kept away Emma's chance at happiness as well. Killian had broken those walls and wasn't scared by what he saw in the rubble that was her heart.

Mary Margaret had told her once that she had saved Killian's life. Maybe that was true. But Killian had also saved Emma from a life of cynicism and anger and loneliness. And really, to her that was of the exact same value as dragging someone from a graveyard before they died of alcohol poisoning because he'd given Emma something she didn't know she could ever have. A family.

A car pulled up behind Emma's, tires crunching gravel and lose pavement chunks. Emma turned and opened her eyes, expecting someone who thought she had car trouble and was pulling over to help. Instead what she saw was a yellow VW Beetle.


	35. Neal

_A/N:_ Neal does get aggressive towards Emma in this chapter so if that is something that would bother you, please be careful! Thanks!

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belong to ABC and the show's creators.

Emma scrambled to her feet and lunged for the driver's door of her car. She'd know that Beetle anywhere. It was the same one Neal had been driving when they dated. Emma didn't even look at Neal as she moved for fear his face would freeze her. She remembered what a phone call had done to her. Seeing his face, leering and sure, would be enough to completely undo her control. If she could just get in the car and lock it she could get away.

Why had she been so stupid as to come out to the culvert on her own? She should have just gone straight to get Killian. If she had she would be safely in Mary Margaret and David's house already, welcoming Killian back to their lives. Emma had known Neal hadn't left, as much as the police believed he did. She knew Neal better than that. Knew that when he wanted something he got it, no matter who he hurt or how legal his actions actually were. But Emma had been so caught up in closing the door to her past that she forgot an aspect of that troubled background was still out there lurking, waiting for her to be vulnerable.

Just as Emma grabbed the door handle, fingers grappling for purchase against the cold metal, strong hands gripped her waist and pulled her back, throwing her down onto the ground. Emma bounced against the pavement like a skipped stone, knees screaming as the rough gravel bit into her jeans. Her movement stopped about five feet from her car, near the middle of the road. Neal hadn't just got harder. He'd gotten stronger too. Emma pushed herself off the road with bloodied palms and focused back on the car door.

Neal leaned against the door, arms crossed against his chest. His smile was smug; similar to the one Emma had just knocked off Milah's face. It made Emma's stomach twist in sick knots. She knew too well what that smile signaled. Shaggy brown hair covered part of his forehead, falling in messy curls that hadn't been combed. It was longer than she remembered, not that she'd thought much about his hair back then. They were both living on the run so hair hadn't been a high priority. Neal's brown eyes raked up and down Emma's body, seemingly satisfied with what he saw.

"It's been far too long, Ems," Neal drawled lazily, appreciative of the tight skinny jeans she was wearing despite the new rips and stains on the knees.

Emma forced herself to be strong and squared her shoulders defiantly. Neal was like a dog; he could smell fear. If Neal thought he had the advantage Emma was done. "Not long enough, Neal," she retorted, placing a hand on her hip. Eternity wouldn't have been long enough for her.

"Don't be so sour, babe. I know you missed me."

"Who told you that bullshit? Milah? Because she's knocked out in a park now."

"And you'll do the same to me?" Neal asked, as if he were humouring one of Henry's more ridiculous requests.

"You'd deserve it," Emma replied eyeing her surroundings. Neal was blocking the driver side door but if she could just get around him and to one of the others she might be able to throw herself inside and lock him out. Or she could call David. David would save her. How stealthily could she get off a text, tell him where she was? Because he had no idea where, on the entire highway, she was stranded if she just sent highway or road shoulder. David hadn't read the file. Only Killian had. And he was waiting for her at the hospital, totally oblivious to the situation.

Emma slowly stuck her hand in her pocket, grasping the phone. She tried to keep looking at Neal as she fingered the buttons, hoping she was pressing the right ones. But Emma knew that even if she sent something that didn't make sense David would realize something had happened. And that was better than nothing. She just had to get one off.

Neal's sharp eyes focused on the jostling in Emma's pocket. She stilled, hoping he'd think she was just fiddling from nerves. But Neal knew the all tricks. He saw through Emma's ruse immediately. Neal lunged forward and grasped Emma's wrist, ripping it from her pocket. Emma's hand came out, still clutching her phone as if it were the only thing in the world that could save her. Neal grabbed the phone, twisting Emma's fingers painfully until she let go. Once he had the phone in his hand he smashed it against the pavement, stepping on the screen for good measure.

A groan of desperation escaped Emma as she saw the cracked screen and fizzling backlight. That phone was as dead as she was soon going to be._ Stupid, stupid Emma._ Neal laughed at the sound she made.

"Don't play with me, Emma. Not when I taught you everything." His voice was cautioning, laced with a malice that made Emma shiver. Neal had never been this bad when she'd known him. Four years running from the system as a wanted criminal had done things to him that were not pleasant.

"Not everything, Neal. You aren't_ that_ important." Maybe once he had been everything to her. But not anymore._ Not ever again._

"Keep telling yourself that, Emma. I know how devastated you were when I left."

"And I got over it," Emma replied angrily. She needed to get out of this situation and get around people. Neal wouldn't attack when she was in public.

Neal scoffed at her reply. "Yeah, by dating some handless freak? Good choice there."

"Better choice than you." Emma measured the distance between herself and the back door of the car. She could make it.

Emma flashed forwards towards the back door. Neal caught her around the waist again, turning her from the handle. He pressed her back against the door, pulling her hands above her head so they rested against the roof. The door handle dug into Emma's hip as she inched back from Neal's hot breath on her neck.

"So pretty, Emma. Why don't you just come with me? We could be happy like before." Neal placed a wet kiss just under her jaw. Emma struggled in his grasp at the touch. It was the worst feeling in the world, having him run his lips up her neck.

Emma jerked forwards and head butted Neal as he ran a rough hand under the hem of her shirt, lifting it up. Neal cursed and slammed her back forcefully before continuing the exploration with his hand. The cool air stung her exposed skin, now covered in a layer of nervous sweat. A terrified whimper escaped her lips as his fingers journeyed lower. Neal had never been like this when they had been together and it scared Emma. Because now she didn't know how far he'd go. Neal misjudged her whimper for pleasure, nibbling at the juncture between shoulder and neck with a moan of his own.

"You like that don't you?" he murmured, voice husky with lust. His fingers closed around the button of her jeans and Emma stilled, frozen by the touch._ No. No. Danger._ Everything in Emma screamed at her to run but she couldn't. "I bet your boyfriend can't pleasure you with just one hand."

"I do just fine, you bastard," a voice behind them hissed. Neal was bodily thrown away from Emma, tossed on the ground with enough force to wind him.

Emma glanced up and caught her breath. Killian stood in front of her, eyes glinting hard with anger. She'd never seen him so angry before. If looks could kill, well, they would all be dead in mere seconds. Killian panted, chest heaving from the stress. He looked Emma up and down but instead of how Neal had done it, looking to see if she was worth his time, Killian looked for injury.

"Are you alright, love?" he asked gently, voice just above a whisper. Emma shook her head and began to cry, hot tears dripping of her chin as she gasped for breath. She was anything but alright. Neal had_ touched_ her. Had her under his control.

Behind them David began reading Neal his Miranda rights as he was handcuffed, still face first on the ground. David jerked him upright and stuffed him into the backseat of his police cruiser, not being all that gentle. Once Neal was locked in, David hurried over to where Killian stood, watching Emma cry.

"Emma, what happened?" David's voice was a mix of concern and shock as he took in Emma's dishevelled appearance, from the undone button of her pants to the way her cotton shirt was hiked up around her breasts.

Emma shook her head. The tears had taken her voice. Killian turned to David. "We'll figure it out later, mate. Give Emma some time." David nodded, cast one last worried glance at her then hurried back to his car. The sirens screamed in the silence as he drove away.

Killian focused on Emma again. "Can I touch you, Emma?" Killian asked gently, raising his arm towards her slowly. He approached her much as Robin would approach a deer that was tangled in wire fencing.

Emma took a deep breath then nodded. Killian was safe. Killian had saved her. She fell into Killian's arms when he reached her, letting the tears wrack her body as she lost control. Killian held her up after her knees gave out; never loosening his grip around her despite the weight of her and his recent hospital visit. Emma cried until she was exhausted, emotionally and physically.

When everything around the couple was silent Killian pulled back to look at her. "Give me your car keys, love. I'll drive you home."

Emma shook her head. "Henry can't see me like this." She needed to be strong for Henry. Right now she felt anything but strong. Her son would be scared if he saw her like this.

Killian nodded sadly. "I know, Swan. That's why we're going to my place. You're going to spend the day in bed being waited on and when you're ready, be that tomorrow morning or next week, we'll go see Henry. Okay?"

Emma reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys and handed them to Killian. "Okay."


	36. More than a Father Figure

_A/N:_ So here's the last chapter. I really like the way the story ended so I don't think I'm going to write an epilogue for it. Anything I came up with felt unnatural and cheesy. I hope everyone's okay with that. Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews and follows and favourites during this journey. I really didn't think I'd get this kind of response when I started the story. I really didn't think anyone would read it at all to be honest. So thanks for proving me wrong! And for sending me kind reviews. Those are what kept me writing at the pace I did.

I'm leaving tomorrow for a week's vacation but I'd like to do another AU when I get back as my August project. I don't have any ideas for what it could be so if any of you have anything you'd like to see me write in the CS AU genre let me know and I'll see what I can do!

Thanks again!

Cheers,

Sarah

Disclaimer: All aspects of Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC and the show's creators Adam and Eddie.

Killian led Emma into his apartment and to his bedroom, calloused hand lightly grasping her smaller one. Emma sunk down onto the bed when he paused next to it and released her hand. Everything still felt surreal, as if this day belonged to someone else and she was just watching everything go down. Killian stood beside the bed, still wary to push her limits.

"Do you need anything, Swan?" he asked gently as he fiddled with his prosthetic. David must have brought it for him when he picked him up. It wasn't the moveable one, which must still have been lost in the graveyard. While the prosthetic looked more realistic, easily passing of as a real hand from a distance, to Emma it didn't look like Killian. Emma studied the prosthetic for a moment before turning back to Killian.

Emma shook her head. She was just tired. She needed a nap more than anything. Emma pushed backwards on the bed until she was propped against the headboard, sheets rustling under her as she moved. She patted the space beside her missing Killian's proximity, his touch, already. Killian watched her face closely as he sat beside her and edged closer. He stopped when they were about three inches apart.

"How did you find me?" Emma still couldn't figure out how he'd shown up on the highway.

Killian smiled crookedly. "When it was nearing ten and no one had shown up I called Dave. He's never late so I figured something was up. He told me that you were supposed to be coming and that you'd left forty five minutes earlier. I figured you'd gone to see Milah so I got Dave to pick me up and we arrived at the park just as Milah was waking up. She told us how she'd goaded you about the highway after Dave threatened legal action for lying to a cop. I remembered where you'd been found and Dave and I got there as fast as we could. By the way, Swan, did you really knock her out?" Killian laughed, raising an eyebrow.

Emma allowed herself a small smile. "If the pain in my hand's any indication I'm going to go with yes."

Killian laughed again. "Well that was certainly one way to get her out of our lives. She practically ran away in shame after she told us about the culvert. May I see your sore hand?" He held his own out flat, still scared of Emma's reaction. But she wasn't scared of Killian. Emma set her hand in his. Killian turned her hand over and kissed each knuckle, glancing up at Emma between each kiss. Emma shut her eyes at the sensation of his lips on her sore skin. This was how she was supposed to feel when someone kissed her. Emma shuddered at the memory of Neal and Killian stopped, immediately, thinking it was his own fault.

After an awkward pause Killian turned her hand back to palm up and examined the deep scratches that ran across the base of her hand. Gravel and dirt were stuck in the open wounds, the surrounding skin red and angry. He carefully set her hand on the bedspread and disappeared into his bathroom. Emma listened to water running and waited for his return. She was almost asleep when Killian came back and took her hand again.

"I'm going to clean this now, okay, Swan?" Emma nodded and Killian dabbed the injuries with a soft wet facecloth. Every time Emma flinched as he removed a piece of gravel or dirt Killian cringed and whispered a quick apology. Once he'd finished with the first hand he motioned for Emma to give him the other one. She did as she was asked.

Hands finished Killian motioned to her legs, blood staining the knees of her pants. "You're going to have to take your jeans off Swan, if I'm to reach your knees. The ankles are too tight to roll them up." Killian was apologetic when he said it. Emma paused for a moment before complying. This was Killian. Killian would never hurt her. She trusted him too much to be afraid of that.

Emma stood and shimmied out of her jeans, wincing as the fabric brushed the cuts on her knees. Killian bent in front of her and started cleaning away the dirt.

"You are so beautiful, Swan," he whispered, leaning against her leg after he dropped the now dirty facecloth. "What did I do to deserve you?" Killian's breath was warm against her cold flesh.

Emma grasped his collar and pulled him up. "You found me," Emma replied in a hushed tone before pulling him against her in a kiss.

When Emma sat back on the bed, Killian smiled at her as if he couldn't believe she was there. "You don't know how much I missed that, Swan."

"I think I do," she replied before easing back against the mattress, limbs exhausted. She motioned for Killian to join her again. He sat and Emma tugged on his hand until he was nestled behind her, Emma's head against his chest. He made her feel safe. If Emma was going to sleep she wanted him to be right there with her.

Killian fiddled with his prosthetic. "I lost my other one at the graveyard," he said sheepishly at Emma's raised eyebrow. "I'm not used to this one yet."

Emma reached forwards and pulled the plastic contraption off, running her thumb over the scar on his stump. Killian's muscles relaxed under her touch. She twisted back to see him. "I like it better off." Killian smiled, still looking in awe of her presence and bent, ghosting his lips over hers. He took the hand from Emma and dropped it on the floor.

"Then off is where it's going to be."

Emma nodded and leaned back, ear pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat through the soft fabric of his t-shirt. It was that rhythm that lulled her to sleep.

Emma woke several hours later to the sound of voices in the living room. Killian was gone and she was tucked under his worn quilt. Emma rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and pushed herself up. Her muscles were sore and she was pretty sure she'd developed a bruise on her forehead from where she head butted Neal. Grabbing a pair of boxers from Killian's drawer so her knees wouldn't be touched by fabric of her jeans, she pulled them on and padded out of the room towards the voices.

David sat on the couch and Killian in the chair as the pair spoke intently. Killian was leaning forwards, hand and stump resting against his knees. David was wearing his police badge and gun so he must have come straight from the station. Emma leaned against the doorframe, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.

"How's Emma?" David asked quietly.

Killian rubbed a hand through his hair making it stand on end. "She'll be okay. I got her cleaned up. She's sleeping now." Killian glanced towards the bedroom door and noticed her, eyebrow climbing up his forehead. "Or not. Come here, Swan."

Emma moved towards him, perching on the arm of his chair. Killian's hand reached up and rubbed circles against her back as soon as she'd settled. Emma noticed with a smile that his fake hand was still off. Killian hated walking around without it, even at his own place, especially when he wore a t-shirt, and yet, he'd even left it off when she was asleep. She relaxed into his gentle caress.

"How are you Emma?" David asked, concern changing his face from police sheriff to older brother.

"I'm better, thank you, David._ For everything._" Emma tried to put as much meaning in the words as she could.

"You had us scared, Emma. Everyone is just glad you're safe now. It was all I could do to keep Mary Margaret away when she heard. I'll probably go home to three different batches of cookies and a loaf of bread." David gave her a grin which Emma couldn't help but return. "It took both Robin and I to convince Ruby to stay back though. I'm surprised she hasn't broken down the door here yet."

Emma groaned and Killian's hand stilled. "What's wrong, Swan?" Killian asked, standing and moving to face her.

"Ruby. She's my oldest friend. I need to let her know I'm okay."

Killian nodded, clearly relieved. "Dave and I can make ourselves scarce if you want to invite her over."

Emma shook her head, reaching out and catching his stump. She rubbed a thumb across it. "No. Stay. Please?"

"I won't go anywhere, love." He reached up and ran a thumb across her forehead. "Quite a shiner there." His voice went steely. "Did he hit you?"

Emma shook her head. "I head-butted him."

Killian laughed and pressed a gentle kiss to the bruise. "That's my girl."

Behind them David cleared his throat. "Emma, I don't want to pressure you, but whenever you're ready we need a statement. Neal's in prison for assault and harassment but we're going to need you to tell us everything to make sure he stays locked up. The deputy collected his statement when we brought him in. Really, he hasn't got a leg to stand on. Neal's just a jealous ex who wanted you back, whatever the cost. Running from the law made him mean, Emma. I'm really glad we got him."

Emma glanced down for a moment. She'd been putting off thinking about reliving the event. But if it could put Neal away and out of her life for good, she'd do it. Just not right then. "Tomorrow?" Emma's voice was quiet when she asked. David nodded and Emma turned to Killian. "Will you come with me?"

Killian guided her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and leaned forward. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away," he whispered against her ear, lips grazing the outside edge of her ear as he spoke.

David stood and adjusted his belt. "I should be getting back to everyone. They're desperate to know how you are. I'll see you two later." He moved towards the door. "Oh, and, Emma? Call Ruby before she shows up and scares Robin again."

David left grinning and Emma sent a text to Ruby with Killian's phone, telling her to come over. Killian went into his bedroom to put extra blankets on the bed. He wanted Emma to be warm when she went to sleep that night. Emma didn't care as long as she got to sleep in Killian's arms. Ruby arrived ten minutes later, hands filled with a tray of hot chocolates and a tub of Ben and Jerry's. Emma had to laugh as Ruby rushed over and hugged her as best as she could while still holding the food.

"I was attacked, Ruby. Not dumped." Emma was a little embarrassed at all the attention. She'd be fine. She was already feeling more like herself.

Ruby shrugged then hugged her again. "It's ice cream. It's multipurpose. Don't complain." Ruby paused, eyes filling with tears. "Oh, Emma, I'm so glad you're alright. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

"I'm okay, Ruby. I was just a little shaken up. Don't worry." Ruby nodded, brushing away a tear. She handed Emma her hot chocolate then moved to the kitchen to collect bowls.

"Hey, Killian!" she called coming back to Emma and scooping out generous servings of coffee ice cream. "You want ice cream?"

"Sure," Killian called back, coming in from the bedroom. Ruby rushed over and hugged him. Killian paused, surprised, before patting her back.

"Thanks for saving our girl."

Killian grinned and moved to join Emma on the chair again. "My pleasure."

Ruby left two hours later after making Emma promise to call her tomorrow after her appointment at the police station. Once Ruby was gone, and Emma was exhausted again she led Killian back to the bedroom. He had added two extra blankets, which Emma sunk into gratefully. She pulled Killian down beside her.

"Thank you, Killian. For showing up when you did," Emma murmured against his chest.

"I wish I could have been there sooner. Neal should never have touched you."

Emma shook her head and kissed his shoulder. "I'm not talking about that, Killian."

He looked down at the use of his first name. "When then, Emma? I don't follow."

"I mean in my life. And Henry's. You gave us a family I didn't think we'd ever have. You gave Henry the father he desperately wanted." Emma ducked her head against his chest, scared to see his response at such a confession.

"I've never seen him as anything but my son, Swan." Emma gasped at the warmth in his tone. She could decipher no lie in his words. Everything he said was genuine. "Why do you think I spoke to you that first day Henry ended up in my room? Henry reminded me of the son I wanted and thought I could never have after Milah left me thinking I was worthless. And then when I lost my hand the whole dream was crushed. Until Henry and his beautiful mother showed up."

"Really?" Emma asked, completely awed. Emma's most secret of wish since she had had Henry was that Henry would have a father who loved him, someone who earned her little boy's admiration and trust. And here was Killian, wanting the same thing._ Admitting the same thing._

_"Really,"_ Killian answered kissing her softly.

Emma pushed herself out of bed, exhaustion suddenly gone. She had found her ohana in the Merry Men and a man who loved her son as much as he loved her. There was only one thing missing now. She turned to Killian and held out her hand. "Let's go get our son, Jones."

Killian smiled as bright as a solar flare and let Emma pull him up. "I thought you'd never ask."


End file.
